Articles

Your favorite game looks like shit

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Something’s been on my mind recently and I can’t make sense of it. Not “why are we here?” or “what’s after this life?” Those are easy questions to answer. I’m talking about something deeper, something video game related.

I consider myself a hardcore gamer based on the amount of gray matter I’ve dedicated to storing information on video games (F, D, F, HP — YOUR HEAD IS MINE!) and for the fact they occupy my thoughts whenever possible. I’ve played hundreds of games on a dozen or so consoles, and here’s the important part, besides the joy of bragging — my favorite titles are spread throughout time and hardware.

I have favorites on the C64 (Archon 2), NES (Contra), Master System (Phantasy Star), Genesis (Shining Force), SNES (Secret of Mana), PS1 (Twisted Metal 2), N64 (Golden Eye), Saturn (Panzer Dragoon), Dreamcast (Bangai-O), PS2 (Guitar Hero), Xbox (Chronicles of Riddick), Gamecube (Eternal Darkness) and PC (Baldur’s Gate 2). →  Reading more, assemble!

Retrospectives – Suikoden series, part 1

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Imagine, if you will, a role-playing game (of the Eastern variety) which creates a persistent fantasy world for an entire series. This world is so large that, even in the latest entry, there are still entire countries that have been mentioned, but that players have yet to explore. The plot of each game concerns revolutions and wars – the sort of things most RPGs leave to the background – and the player is the architect of these nation-spanning changes.

Suikoden, called “Genso Suikoden” or Fantasy Suikoden in Japan, is an RPG series on the PSX, Saturn and PS2 that has been around since 1996. The “Suikoden” in the name comes from the Japanese name for the Shui Hu Zhuan or (usually) Outlaws of the Marsh, one of the four Chinese Classics (alongside the better-known Three Kingdoms and The Journey West). →  Virtua Poster 4: Evolution

The Real Gaming Challenge ™

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You might be able to tell from a lot my recent articles, but I enjoy challenging myself when gaming. Over the years I’ve managed to become better at a lot of genres and titles that used to kick my ass, but one genre in its entirety has eluded me; racing games.

Yes, aside from perhaps Mario Kart, I am possibly the worst racing gamer you’d ever have the displeasure of competing against. I’m not sure what it is; am I handling corners wrong? Shifting improperly? Maybe I don’t understand the true performance of the car. All I know is that I can’t play these games for the life of me.

That is going to change now. I’ve decided to turn my past efforts up 200% and try my absolute hardest to conquer racing games. →  Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Post

Turning up the difficulty

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In my last column I talked about mindless games and whether such a concept actually makes sense. Today, we talk about something else that stems from this debate. Usually when I read a review of a “mindless” game that I myself have played, the first thing to come to me is not “they’re kind of right” or “they’re kind of wrong”. The question on my mind is “did they play it on hard?”

When I was a kid I didn’t play games on any sort of difficulty – few NES games actually had a difficulty setting; you played against whatever they threw at you. When difficulties did start popping up, it was always Easy mode for me. This was because I only got two, maybe three new games a year, so there was no concept of being stuck and putting it away. →  The Last Readment

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 5.4.07

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Sony markets to teens
Sony decided this was a smart business move after analyzing the figures:
Selling games to 10 year olds = totally lame (Nintendo sux LOL)
Selling games to 14 year olds = awesome to the max (we rulz)

The All I want for Christmas is a PSP, Sony’s first attempt to market to teens, went over slightly better than September 11th. Most failed ads don’t bring in more customers, this failed ad led to current customers donating their PSPs to their walls at 15 MPH.

EA noticing Wii and DS appeal to kids, plans bad mini-game game to cash in
EA Playground appeals to “the kid in everyone.” How exactly did EA deduce this? There are the obvious things that appeal to kids but not adults, like finding the opposite sex disgusting and eating chalk. →  It’s time to read and chew bubblegum… and I’m all outta gum.

Console logos throughout the ages

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This year, 2007, marks the 30th anniversary of the Atari 2600 release, which is what many consider to be the very first commercial video game console. And since then, the gaming populace has been privy to 21 major home consoles. To celebrate this momentous year, I have painstakingly researched and categorized each of the 18 home consoles’ logos. Yes, I have nothing else better to do with my time. So, with that in mind, let’s take a quick stroll through history, shall we?

Atari 2600: Here we have the granddaddy of them all: the Atari 2600. I don’t really understand what this logo stands for, but it must mean something cool, as it can still be seen on t-shirts and stickers everywhere. →  Read me now, believe me later.

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 4.27.07

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Ken Kuraragi finally falls on his sword
I have called for Ken’s resignation many times, but like a president bombarded by calls to fire a cronie, end a war, step down, or learn to read Kutaragi has ignored me entirely. That is until yesterday. Ken has finally listened to my sharp criticism and based a life altering decision on it…or has he?

“And God said unto me, ‘Make thy console large, make it powerful, but above all else hold unto this truth: Make thy console expensive.'”

The Japanese, unlike Americans, have a thing they like to call sushi. This raw fish (California rolls don’t count, hippy) is symbolic of another concept we Americans lack – honor. For you see, in ancient Japan the sushi roller guy was thought to be the embodiment of the fisherman’s god, Zeus. →  [post launches in virtual reality],[put on your VR headset now],[left click on your mouse to open the remainder of this post in your web browser on your digital computing device]

Numbers are fun: But charts are amazing

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Market capitalization is a measure of what investors think a company is worth, so it basically represents size. In order to get a little perspective on the relative size of some of the companies with which we, as gamers, are most familiar, I have thrown together the below chart.

As with all thrown together financial charts it has its shortcomings. Private companies, such as Bioware, SNK Playmore and Treasure cannot be included since they are not required to reveal their size and there is no market to determine it. Also, (and this may come as a shock to some of you) several of these companies are Japanese. This means that in addition to their market cap changing day to day based on price changes, when expressed in US Dollars, they change with foreign exchange rates as well. →  Sounds mildly entertaining, I guess.

Mindlessness in games

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I read a good article recently on the heavy use of the word “gameplay” in games journalism. Agree with it or not, the author makes a good point; there is no equivalent word in any other industry jargon. Most sentences that use the word gameplay can be rewritten in some form to create something more descriptive and authoritative. It got me thinking about another mainstay of the lingo that has been bothering me as of late – “mindless”.

The word is used all too often, so much so that I can’t even generalize about whether it is usually in a pejorative or positive sense. According to my scouring of IGN, reviewers and gamers find the following games to be “mindless”:

Tomb Raider Legend
Rainbow Six Vegas
Sonic Riders
Resident Evil 4
Trigger Man
Ninety Nine Nights
Both Half Lifes
Painkiller
Call of Duty 3
Tekken Tag Tournament

For the sake of discussion, let’s just say this (very partial) list is a mix of terrible, average, and a few Game of the Year winners. →  Postgaea 2: Cursed Memories

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 4.20.07

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Sony’s Q2 release schedule
Between the PS3 and Wii’s upcoming releases, I wish I had a 360. Though some (Matt) would disagree, it looks like adopting a next gen system early is a bad move. After Paper Mario there’s nothing I want to play on the Wii, at least nothing at the current going rates of titles. Maybe I’d pick up Metal Slug for $30, Excite Truck for $25 and only ask to be paid $20 to take Wii Play.

At least my stupid investment only cost $250 and there are plenty of good Virtual Console games to play. If you’re one of the few rich people with a PS3, look on the bright side — you’ll be able to download Joust soon. →  I got served!