Articles

Best Game Ever – Suikoden

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Growing up I always played games, but only recently would I have ever thought of myself as a “gamer.” I had a Nintendo for several years, then a Genesis, but until Playstation (and High School) I played mostly NBA Jam, and whatever the rest of the kids from school/the neighborhood were playing. This included a lot of games I would now scorn, such as games licensed from movies. I always noticed Genesis games on the shelves that looked as though they might be interesting due to the dragons and medieval knights on the covers, but I was apparently unable to take the plunge at the time.

He’s a goner.

Come high school, I met a bunch of people different from myself (basically I hadn’t met anyone not Irish- or Italian-Catholic) who did different things (other than play baseball and basketball). →  Read the rest

The Videolamer game

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Last night I took a 20 minute break from my busy work day and designed a Videolamer video game. It’s going to star the lamer guy (look at the top of the page, that stunning svelte green man is the lamer guy) in a Zelda-esque adventure.

The plot is something along the lines of the lamer guy jumps out of a monitor, leaves your bedroom (YES, YOUR BEDROOM!) and ends up in a randomly thrown together fantasy world full with Porn Hell (you’ll have to wait and see). I really can’t reveal too much because I don’t know how many rival designers are reading (according to my stat counter, four people have been here in the last week, but I assume the hundreds of designers who visit don’t use cookies).

And when I say I designed a game, I mean I drew a map. →  Read the rest

Chords and Kawaii: The State of the Music Genre – Part 2

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While the rest of the kids played DDR in gym, joey here was practicing chords and meeting groupies.

And now, I present The State of the Music Genre

1. Passing the Torch

Let’s take a quick look at what makes a game like Guitar Hero click. Rather than dancing on a pad, you imitate playing a guitar by pounding down on different buttons and keys on a plastic replica of a Gibson SG. There are chords, sustained notes, and a whammy bar for adding your own bit of personal flair. In order for the song to actually play, the player must correctly perform the notes, or else face failure. Particularly good play can net you Star Power, a technique that allows you to increase your score. As for future installments, it looks as if we will see music, more styles, and possibly even more instruments that will all be able to join together for a virtual jam session. →  Read the rest

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Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 6.16.06

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Round 1: Uwe versus Alien!

Uwe Boll challenges his critics to a boxing match
The sad thing is my borough president challenged his competitor to a boxing match so whatever I say about Boll directly applies to someone with much more power. Actually, that’s not true. Guy Molinari may be as stupid as Boll and may think that punching people makes you smarter, more capable of governing, or more capable of directing than your opponent, but Molinari is not responsible for the Alone in the Dark movie. Uwe Boll is, and should be beaten up for it.


Blizzard denies working on MMO versions of Starcraft and Diablo
This means nothing other than Blizzard won’t officially say they’re working on these titles now.

ARR! Pirate DS carts
Want a game that doesn’t require your progress to be saved? →  Read the rest

The greatest video game mascot hands down in the history of the universe

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Who is the best video game mascot? Mario some would answer, but they’d be stupid and wrong. Mario is overweight, and obesity is a large problem in America. If you enjoy Mario’s plump antics, you obviously don’t enjoy America or freedom.

Sonic is another obvious choice, but he is bright blue and for children. Have you ever seen his cartoon show? Not the over serious ABC piece of crap, but the one with terrible drawings and life lessons at the end of each episode. While it’s respectable that his ultimate goal is to beat up a fat guy, he saves too many animals and cares too much about the planet on his journey. Sonic is a good choice for a six year old vegan, but not men like us.

Lara Croft is another popular pick. →  Read the rest

Chords and Kawaii: The State of the Music Genre – Part 1

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I am going to describe two scenarios to you. For the first, imagine yourself walking along with me, as we enter my last DDR Rave I mentioned in yesterday’s introduction. We’re about to step into a college reading room, essentially a student lounge of sorts with comfy chairs and a large television. Normally the room is well lit and welcoming; you can go here to study and have some coffee.

How to make anything much lamer: add Mario.

Tonight, however, the space is pitch black. Before you even see it, you can here loud, pumping music of a strange sort. Techno? Maybe, but there’s something else to it. As you walk in, you look at the TV and are immediately hit with a barrage of lights, colors and a strange mix of …stuff. →  Read the rest

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Chords and Kawaii: The State of the Music Genre – Introduction

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There was a point in my life, not that long ago, when I played Dance Dance Revolution. Of course, that could mean a lot of things. For all you know my DDR career could have been nothing more than me jumping onto a pad one night at an upperclassmen’s place after having a couple of beers and nothing to lose.

The truth is, that was only my first time playing. And you know what? It was quite a bit of fun. After that, and for about six months, not a week went by in which I didn’t get my dance on. But not with upperclassmen this time, but rather with hardcore DDR fans. They weren’t the best, but they ate up the entire series with gusto.

It has been six months since I stopped playing the game, having only once stepped on a pad in that time. →  Read the rest

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 6.9.06

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Jaws Unleashed


Majesco makes money
I’ve written about this company a few times because they dared to take a chance on some creative games and nearly went bankrupt for it. Now they have a different direction that focuses less on making premium titles and more on making shitty games that sell. Their portable lineup is actually respectable, but with console titles like Jaws Unleashed, it won’t be hard to turn my back on Majesco and hope EA buys them out only to make them all sex slaves (they’ll be paid for 40 hours a week, but not for the overtime they put in).

Hillary Clinton’s Media Guide for Parents (complete with cute drawing of children)
Clinton basically suggests we read Common Sense Media’s take on media ratings. The Common Sense Media people are about “media sanity, not censorship.” →  Read the rest

Making enemies move and shoot: An A.I. Primer part 1

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Okay, so after I read the conversation on A.I. between Jay and Christian, I started coming up with comments. Then I re-organized them, and kept coming up with more. Well before I felt I had addressed things enough to post a comment, I had the makings of a brief paper on A.I. as it applies to video games. That was when I spoke with Jay about just writing it up as an article instead of posting a several-page comment, and he said to give it a shot.

Unfortunately I tend to go a little nuts when A.I. is concerned, and so it’s now turned into what’s possibly a multiple installment piece. In this first bit, what I want to cover are the uses to which we put A.I. for video games. →  Read the rest

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Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 6.2.06

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E3 awards
Wii wins best in show award. So this justifies Nintendo’s actions. When they eventually get trampled in the free market they can at least say, “Oh well, other industry people thought it could work, too.”

Spore won best PC game and best original game. Gears of War picked up a few awards, and the DS Zelda won best handheld. I’m happy to see Bioware’s Mass Effect won something, too, as I am in love with that company. I’m totally having their babies.

Analyst specultes on MS handheld
The Marketeer already broke the news that Microsoft was entering the handheld market.

Peter Moore has started a list of every backwards compatible Xbox game.

Backwards compatibility not a priority for MS
How convenient. Promise backwards compatibility, do a so so job (no Soul Calibur 2?), →  Read the rest

A.I. woes

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I’m currently reading a book on game design. The chapter on AI speaks only of the good that will come with advancing computer intelligence, yet not a word of caution or hesitation is included. I quickly outlined a number of worries I have over advanced AI and decided to bring them to our resident computer science major, Christian. Keep in mind I’m not “against” better AI, I just think it may lead to issues designers will have to deal with. I also find game design discussion to be infinitely enjoyable.

What follows are the initial worries I had and then Christian’s cool headed reponses.

This guy probably wishes he were smart enough to stop, drop and roll.

Jay: In an old interview, Warren Spector spoke of making the AI for Deus Ex 2. →  Read the rest

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The next generation of handhelds

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Handheld video games are important to us because they offer profit with minimal development costs. If a console title costs 10 million dollars but two years to make, the seemingly large profits come at a very high cost. Handheld games take a fraction of the development time, a fraction of the development cost and can still sell millions of copies.

The new generation of consoles is currently delighting gamers across the globe, but where are the new handhelds? Through my business contacts, I have been lucky enough to uncover the next generation of handhelds. So read this over and then put your marketing team to work.
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Sony PSP2 — Sony has finally stopped pretending the PSP is for new titles and delivered what consumers really want — a portable PS1. →  Read the rest

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 5.26.06

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Tose’s game Shrek: Reekin’ Havoc has been accused of lacking soul. How could a company that works as guns for hire and doesn’t like getting credit possibly make a game they don’t feel passionate about?

Development team that doesn’t take credit for their work
Tose say they are “development ninjas.” They have worked on over a thousand games and never take any credit for their work. The few games they have admitted to making seem to be average at best, so it may not be a big loss.

It does raise interesting ethical questions, though. While it may be legal, most people think it’s absurd to buy life stories from someone then write about them like thy happened to you (ala Seinfeld: see Kramer and Peterman). I’m not sure it’s any less deceitful to claim your company made a game when you secretly paid someone else to. →  Read the rest

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Another gamer is claimed by World of Warcraft

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So. World of Warcraft. A game I’ve been putting off playing since inception.

Nice graphics…for 1997! Ahahahahaha!

Diablo has always been one of my favorite games but I always found it a little limited. Added to that, I was one of those people who pre-ordered Ultima Online in the special collectors edition that came with the cool little cloth map and three months of subscription. I almost made it through the first month and a friends prodding left me spending three hours a day fletching arrows for a bit of the second. By the third month I was busy trying to unclog the toilet that I’d flushed that damn cloth map in.

Not that a lot of people didn’t love UO, it just wasn’t the game that I expected.

World of Warcraft is exactly that game that anyone who has ever flushed a cloth map was expecting. →  Read the rest

What is a hardcore gamer?

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Holy crap the Serious Games Summit looks like fun!

So E3 has come and gone. I missed out on most of the news and hoopla, in favor of catching up after the dust settled. I did, however, read more than a few articles that popped up in the month prior to E3, specifically those that dealt with the marketing aspect of the games industry. I’ve seen articles discussing mobile games, non-roleplaying MMO’s, and a mysterious new thing called “Serious games.”

Most of this meant very little to me in the long run, but one debate that has been brought up as of late has piqued my interest: “Who is a hardcore gamer, how do and why should we cater to them?” This has to be one of the worst questions they could possibly ask, and even worse, they can’t even get the answer right. →  Read the rest

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 5.19.06

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Get it? It’s hacked? With an axe?

Xbox 360 hacked to play pirated games, err backups
That didn’t take too long, but it won’t work for everyone and if you get caught Bill Gates will devour your soul.

Analysts worry PS3 price will hurt the game industry
While somewhat obvious, it’s good to see analysts voicing thoughts that not everyone has had. The reasoning behind the suspicion Sony is hurting the industry is such a high price point for the PS3 will prevent growth. Installing new users each successive generation is very important if game development costs are going to continue to grow and a $500 price tag prevents this. When thought of in terms of accessibility versus cost and hardware versus software, the gap between Sony and Nintendo seems even larger. →  Read the rest

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An E3 for the proletariat: Golden Jew’s final thoughts

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Another year, another E3. This marked the third E3 I have attended. Obviously, this year’s big focus was on the new console systems: Second Generation Xbox 360 games, the Wii, and the PS3.

Last year, after seeing the preview for the Xbox 360, the teaser demo for the PS3, and hearing about the Wii (then called the Revolution, a time which will be remembered as “Heterosexual Nintendo”), I was stoked. I boldly declared to my friends that this next generation of consoles would be remembered as a big turning point in gaming. Finally–at last–systems would have standard support for the goodies that make PC gaming so much fun (hard drives, keyboards, online connectivity), combined with native HD support and some serious rendering muscle. Finally, console makers would get it, and we were in for what would be some seriously high powered, interactive, and most importantly, fun, gaming. →  Read the rest

Lame E3 pics 3

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Click the pic for an annoying pop up window with a bigger pic.

Welcome to Wii World.

A drum simulation. Wow.

A baseball simulation. Wower.

Finally, something that looks like a real game.

Smashy smashy.

Colorful controllers.

Variety of controllers.

And finally, the system all the fuss is over:

The most pleasant surprise at this E3

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This year’s E3 had a number of surprises, some cool some lame. The games that weren’t there were somewhat surprising so I’ve listed the ones I care about.

Capcom had already used their scariest ideas, so this time they have you fighting zombies in broad daylight.

Resident Evil 5
Resident Evil 4 was really great, but controlling it still wasn’t perfectly easy. If Resident Evil 5 can maintain 4’s quality and sharpen controls then it’d be gold in a PS3 case. RE5 not showing up at this year’s E3 was a bummer not just because we all want to see more of it, but because we need to know exactly what systems it’ll be on. I need to know if I should start saving pennies for a PS3 (that’s 60,000 pennies). →  Read the rest

Lame E3 pics 2

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Click a pic to make it bigger.

Did any one else have any idea Enix is pronounced Eh-nicks and not Ee-nicks?

Despite being a Ryu clone, Akira is still the star of the Virtua Fighter series.

His name is “El Blaze”, which translates as “The Blaze.”

If I get this game I’ll have Burning Crusade and burning itch.

Finally, we know where all of Blizzard’s revenue goes to: buying giant dolls.

WoW statue, or Golden Jew? We may never know.