Japan

Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom: etc, etc, etc

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In a sentence, imagine Street Fighter II with slightly nicer graphics and hyper combos.

In more than a sentence, why is it that Capcom’s fighting games are allowed to be so lazy and yet get relatively good reviews? Street Fighter IV, Marvel vs Capcom 3 and the 1.1 versions of both of those. Shallow and lazy. Particularly the versus series. Great potential for some kind of interesting story mode reduced to a handful of cool cutscenes.

So. What do you get in Tats vs Caps? Not a lot. Punch people in the head on seven stages in Arcade Mode. Punch people in the ahead against the clock in survival mode and punch as many people in the head before your life runs out in Survival Mode. Even for a Capcom game there is a paucity of unlockables. Extra costumes, still images from the ending, three movies, two and a halfish, some artwork, spinnable 3D models and a stage viewer are all available. →  Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Bore me and I sleep.

Review – God of War: Chains of Olympus

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Reviewing God of War: Chains of Olympus can be done in either a paragraph or several pages. Actually, describing the game can be done in one hearty breath, though its existence makes for a longer and frustrating commentary on the industry.

Let us get the first part out of the way; Chains of Olympus is developer Ready at Dawn’s attempt to bring the full God of War experience to the PSP. In this goal they have succeeded; the game looks and plays so closely to the PS2 originals that Chains (almost) sits right up there with them in terms of quality. It really is amazing to think that this game is being played on a handheld. Unfortunately, in trying so hard to emulate the PS2, the experience also becomes excessively generic. Yes, the music might be new, but at a certain point all Latin chanting sounds the same. Running around in Greek cities, Greek temples, and the Greek underworld also gives me deja vu. →  The review for ‘Shark Sandwich’ was merely a two word review which simply read ‘Read Sandwich.’

All you ever need to know about Japan

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After spending 10 nights in Japan I am now qualified to make sweeping statements about the Japanese culture. The following are immutable truths (told in a convenient pros and cons style) about this wonderful and bizarre country:

Pro
Suntory Boss is the boss of them all since 1992.

There’s no use denying it.

Con
Japanese people seem as pro-Japan as Americans are pro-America. I was asked by one of my gracious host’s fathers why we came to Japan. He was an awesome guy but really pushed hard for an answer he found satisfactory. I think the question was probably just mistranslated and he actually asked, “How awesome is Japan?” The same day, a man on the street approached us and told us in English that “Japan is number 1.” With proof like that who was I to argue. Instead, we replied with, “Nippon ichi!” and he was gleeful and satisfied.

Pro
Engrish is awesome and plentiful. Some of my favorites taken from a photobooth – “Have fun it!”, →  The Last Readment

Woah Vid-Lamer, Keep on Rollin’

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It appears that our editor Jay has apologized in the post below for any lack of content during his trip to Japan. If he is referring to quality content, he may be right. But in terms of volume, all I can say is lies.

While the Jammaster himself is out (and Tyson is busy fulfilling his every whim), rest assured that I will make sure the site stays going with fresh content, while second in command Pat pulls my puppet strings from the shadows, making me dance a sauntering jig for the prize of a few choice comments.

Just what will you see? Your guess is as good as mine. There are many ideas – the question is which will be worth writing, and which will be more of my classic drivel. Perhaps we will even see me and GJ form the Jew and Gentile Connection and battle for the Tag Team Belt. At this point I don’t even know what I’m talking about. →  Final Post VII

Domo arigato and bon voyage!

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Tomorrow morning I will be leaving to join Tyson in Japan. There may be fewer updates and hilarious articles while I’m gone, but by January 8th I’ll be home and within the next month or two we will be ready to think about planning preparations to return to full speed.

In the meantime, enjoy fluffy filler material I’ve pre-prepared. Ever wonder how the staff here has evolved and changed as gamers in the past two years (hey, that’s how old this site is, what a coincidence)? Wonder no more because this site will soon be flooded with human interest stories.

While you’re reading videolamer and doing whatever it is I assume you do with the rest of your day (hit refresh until you need to pee/eat, pee/eat, repeat), I hope to absorb the local culture by enjoying a Big Mac and Nippon Disney – who cares about what people think beyond what they think of me? After a caramel macchiato with no caramel and extra sake (and tracking down the mythical and elusive Japanese Taco Bell Tyson’s dreamed of every night since I told him it supposedly exists), then it’s over to stand in front of the Nintendo building for a day or two. →  U R Not lamE.

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 12.21.07

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PSP sales explode in Japan
Sony’s handheld has been selling very well lately, this last boost thanks to a new red model. If Sony simply releases a new model and/or colored PSP every other month they may be able to seriously compete with Nintendo. At least on the hardware front.

Games simply don’t appear to sell on the PSP. The leading theories as to why this is are:
If you cut yourself while playing you won’t even notice.

1. The PSP is a successful multimedia machine. A significant percentage of purchasers are using it to listen to music and watch movies. Reports of people not particularly interested in games buying the system are common, and even dedicated gamers (see Christian of this website) are very interested in all the multimedia aspects of the PSP. The argument against this position is that everyone on earth owns at least four iPods and that UMD movies suck (and will continue to do so until the hilarious yet poignant “I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry” comes out in the format). →  Densha de Read! Shinkansen

DS games on the go!

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So you have a DS but you don’t have the time to sink into long playing sessions. Or in my case, you have the attention span of a seven year old on crack. The whole concept of the aging process bringing patience is a lie and I’m living proof. When I was ten I could sit for hours and rock Final Fantasy 2 on the SNES, now I can barely sit through a thirty minute session of Phantom Hourglass. I think I am turning into more of a casual gamer and I know for sure that my mind is usually elsewhere when I flip the switch on my black-as-my-soul DS.

This does not mean that I don’t enjoy games anymore; I just don’t get overly involved in most of the games I play. Fortunately for me, the DS has an abundance of titles that fit very well into my lifestyle of mid-range commuting and chipmunk-sized bouts of concentration. Here is a rundown of ten games that are extremely fun but have fairly short play session requirements and fit very well into life on the go. →  Did I do that?

Numbers are fun – November ‘Nihilation

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There has been a lot of good sales news for the industry over the past month. Enough numbers have been released that PR people from all three console manufacturers are able to claim some victory. We have all grown accustomed to hearing that Nintendo’s grandparent-friendly hardware is setting the world ablaze, but recent information has shown that its competitors may be gearing up to offer a viable challenge. The biggest headline probably has to be the fact that Nintendo DS sales set the record for most systems ever purchased in a single week with 653,000. This, combined with 350,000 Wiis sold during the same period adds up to…a lot of stuff sold by Nintendo during Thanksgiving week. The Wii is still supply constrained so it’s tough to say how many units Nintendo could be moving, but the Wii reached five million units in the US sold faster than any other system in history, doing so in a mere 12 months.
This game sold almost 600k in one week.
 →  Are you ready for some readball?

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 11.30.07

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Gamespot editor allegedly fired for giving a bad review
Jeff Gerstmann was supposedly let go because he gave Kane and Lynch a mediocre review (recent updates indicate the firing was a culmination of multiple reviews that angered sponsors). The story goes, Eidos was paying CNET a ton of cash to promote the title and threatened to pull future ads because of the review. It’s true that when this story broke yesterday, the Gamespot site was covered head to toe in stupid K&L ads. The people who say the firing happened because of the review range from Penny Arcade (who confirm the comic isn’t simply a joke in their forum), to a freelance Gamespot writer (who gave Shenmue a bad review…breath in…), to mods in the Gamespot forum who said things like – if we tell you what happened we will be fired, and don’t blame us, it’s all CNETs fault.

First of all, many people use this news to confirm “conspiracy theories.” →  You reading at me?

The State of Japanese Gaming Plus A Couple of Signs That the End Times Are Upon Us

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As I type this, I am covetously inspecting my growing stockpile of canned goods and rice. Earlier I cleaned and loaded my Colt .45 Airsoft pistol with silencer and under barrel flashlight (think Metal Gear Solid 3). Within the next couple of hours I will be ready for what I am guessing is either going to be the zombocalypse, the Second Coming, WWIII, or possibly the release of a Vanilla Ice Greatest Hits album. One way or the other something bad is going to happen and I am going to be ready.

The Japanese are doing curious things that have tipped me off to our fast approaching doom, let me explain.

First, as I was browsing through the video game section of one of my local electronics stores I spotted a Japanese man loading up his shopping cart with: A) Halo 1,2, and 3 B) An Xbox Live membership card and C) one or two other 360 games that I couldn’t make out. →  Contains 10% more consonants than comparable articles.