Domo arigato and bon voyage!

Tomorrow morning I will be leaving to join Tyson in Japan. There may be fewer updates and hilarious articles while I’m gone, but by January 8th I’ll be home and within the next month or two we will be ready to think about planning preparations to return to full speed.

In the meantime, enjoy fluffy filler material I’ve preprepared. Ever wonder how the staff here has evolved and changed as gamers in the past two years (hey, that’s how old this site is, what a coincidence)? Wonder no more because this site will soon be flooded with human interest stories.

While you’re reading videolamer and doing whatever it is I assume you do with the rest of your day (hit refresh until you need to pee/eat, pee/eat, repeat), I hope to absorb the local culture by enjoying a Big Mac and Nippon Disney – who cares about what people think beyond what they think of me? →  SaGa 3: Shadow or Write

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 2.23.07

New Virtual Console consoles
It looks like Wii owners will now have the chance to download Neo Geo and MSX games. I’d like to see the original Metal Gear, which is supposed to be significantly cooler than the NES port, and Master System favorites (that were ports from the MSX) Miracle Warriors and Golvellius. Of course the West may never get the MSX emulator because most (or all) of the system’s games are in Japanese. Maybe after Nintendo translates Fire Emblem 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 I will believe there’s a possibility they translate super obscure Japanese computer games on a system 99.8% of Americans have never heard of.

Speaking of Master System, why not give us a Wii emulator for Phantasy Star, Wonder Boy, Zillion, Alex Kidd and company? →  The happiest post on Earth.

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 1.5.07

Crappy developer buys crappy developer
Traveler’s Tales, the awesome company behind such classics as Sonic 3D Blast, Crash Twinsanity and Muppet Race Mania has purchased Embryonic Studios, which is responsible for the all time great Looney Toons: Back in Action. Traveler’s Tales aren’t too bad, really, I’m just bitter over their multiple attempts at killing excellent franchises (Super Monkey Ball Adventure came from these guys).

I’d rather see a headline that reads, “Boring studios who make predominantly licensed crap go out of business due to the general public’s lack of interest in Disney for the past decade.” It’s always possible these companies are consolidating due to a shrinking market, much like the Great Abacus Consolidation of 1174.

Rare founders leave their company
The Stamper brothers, reportedly media shy partly due to their ugliness, have left Rare. →  Read Danger!

Laying this generation to rest: Dreamcast

To celebrate the new generation of consoles, we will be honoring the last generation by listing our favorite games on each system. These aren’t Best of lists, or games you will die without, rather they are simply the titles we think made these systems special.

The first console of the past generation was the Sega Dreamcast. This proved to be Sega’s final console so while we remember it fondly, keep in mind that emotion partially clouds our view. Teary eyes aside, there is no denying the console had a number of excellent exclusives, most of which were made by Sega themselves. Anyone new to gaming and confused about why Sega exists at all only needs to look to the games they developed for the Dreamcast (and Saturn, and Genesis).

To quote Planet Dreamcast’s comically inaccurate, unbridled optimism:
At the end of the day it isn’t up to us to tell you whether or not you should buy a Dreamcast. →  In the beginning games created the heavens and the earth.

I demand the following Virtual Console games

Nintendo has announced that 24 publishers will be supporting their Wii Virtual Console. I have taken the initiative of compiling a list of the most of the publishers I recognized (at least one of their names was entirely in Japanese) and then decided on one specific game I hope each makes available. Enjoy.

KonamiCastlevania X: Rondo of Blood: The PC Engine only pinnacle of the series, or so they say, goes for a shitload of money these days.

Atlus — Some old Shin Megami Tensei games would really be appreciated. I’ve wanted to get into the series for a long time but the number of games I’ve missed make me feel a little overwhelmed.

MasayaLangriser…2 through 5 sounds good.

CapcomSweet Home: The sort of prequel to the Resident Evil series that never made it out of Japan. →  Illiterates hate her! Click to read this one weird trick.

Best Game Ever – Dynamite Headdy

Developer: Treasure
Publisher: Sega for the Genesis
Released: 1994

Our hero soon escapes…

A few days ago while looking for a game to force my girlfriend to play I popped in Dynamite Headdy. I knew it would be too hard for her but figured she may appreciate how strange and creative it is. It was and she did, and more importantly I was reminded of how great the game is. That very night while surfing game forums I read of the Treasure Box for the PS2, which was a collection of Gunstar Heroes, Alien Soldier and Dynamite Headdy. Wait, what ever happened to it? I remembered reading about the collection months ago but then forgot about it. Did it come out already and if so why wasn’t it out here? It turns out we got the shaft and only the Japanese are able to enjoy Treasure’s best Genesis games (or as they would incorrectly refer to it, the Mega Drive). →  Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty article.

For absolutely no reason, here is Golden Axe

Axe Machine
Why yes, that is a Van Gogh to the right of the machine. Thanks for noticing.

I learned how to ride a bike at 13, so it should be no surprise that it’s 2006 and I have now had my first experience with a digital camera. At this rate, I’ll kiss a girl by the early 2060s. Sadly, I do not own the camera, it belongs to my girlfriend (I know, that could easily ruin the last joke, but luckily for us, and Jesus, we believe in no touch love) but that hasn’t stopped me from taking as many stupid pictures as possible. The first pictures I took were of my video game collection, my crotch (soon to be featured on this site), and then my Golden Axe machine.

Having an arcade machine in a small apartment sounds like a great idea, but is it really? →  We have the best words.