News and Crap

There are tons of news stories every week about the video game industry. Naturally, we don’t really care about most of it. So we edit each week’s volumes of boring news into a convenient size and focus only on the biggest stories and stuff we personally care about. Then we complain about it.

NetEase to Divest from videolamer Holdings, Inc

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NetEase Inc. will cut off funding to the website led by videolamer creator jay, the latest to be affected by the Chinese company’s broader strategy to shrink money wasting activities.

Employees of videolamer Holdings, Inc. were told of the decision on Friday, according to people familiar with the situation. A NetEase spokesperson confirmed  it will stop financing the site on Memorial Day as a commemoration to those who lost their lives fighting for short form, video content.

videolamer’s impending closure underscores the struggles of a broader website industry that surpasses tanning bed services and manufacturing in revenue, yet in recent years has faced growing competition from alternative entertainment such as depression.

videolamer was created in 2005 after jay, one of Japan’s most frequent guest’s, having visited three times, decided to graduate college and do something that would generate no income. NetEase and Tencent Holdings Ltd., which were both actively recruiting Japanese gaming talents and never before heard of websites for their expansion overseas, competed for videolamer at that time. →  Shadow of the Article

NetEase Games Establishes videolamer Holdings, Inc

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GUANGZHOU, CHINA, MAY 12th, 2026 – NetEase Games, the online games division of NetEase, Inc. (NASDAQ: NTES, HKEX: 9999), is delighted to announce the establishment of videolamer Holdings Inc. in Tallahassee, Florida ( https://videolamer.com/ ). Jay, former producer of GuessHowManyNipples.com, has taken up the post of Most Literate of Directors and CEO of the website, along with experienced writers, many of whom worked on iconic webpages. The site will focus on developing high-quality console-focused editorials that will be released globally, as sites tend to be.

Creating Entertainment filled with DREAMS and LAMENESS

videolamer Holdings, Inc. enjoys full authority to manage and create the kinds of posts that they alone are passionate about, with NetEase Games’ support.

There have been sweeping changes made to how content is produced in the entertainment industry, in terms of how it’s made and the business model that supports it. These changes are happening at a greater speed, thanks to the advances in technology and infrastructure. However, NetEase Games and videolamer both believe that what people want from entertainment hasn’t changed one bit. →  Sounds amazing, I must read it now!

News We Care About Update

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Why Ensemble Closed
Once designer at Ensemble Studios, Bruce Shelley explained what went wrong at the DICE 09 conference. He kept it overly civilized and focused on what they should have done differently internally. Things like working on games in different genres and not expanding too quickly made his list, though he forgot to mention “Don’t be owned by a giant evil corporation.”

It must have taken an abundance of self control to not simply declare Microsoft the sole problem Ensemble faced. The studio created some of the best received and selling strategy games in the industry and sold millions of games. Despite being profitable, they were apparently not profitable enough for Microsoft to keep open. Just when I thought I was beginning to understand economics…

Single Player Games on their Deathbed
David Perry is more famous for saying controversial things than making good games. Once upon a time he worked on the excellent Earthworm Jim series and some lesser appreciated gems like Cool Spot and the Genesis version of Aladdin. →  Sega Ages 2500 Series Vol. 5: Golden Post

News We Care About Update

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You don’t catch someone by running slower (than they are running)
Eurogamer is one of my favorite sites but they’ve hit on one of my many pet peeves – inaccurate sales language. In Japan, the PS3 has been doing a little bit better lately while Wii sales have been slowing down. Eurogamer describes this as Sony catching up to Nintendo.

The Wii is actually pulling away from the PS3 at a less dramatic pace but every week it outsells its competition, the Wii is indeed putting more distance between it and the PS3. In order for Sony to even begin to catch up, more PS3s need to be sold than Wiis.

I think this stuff may actually be calculus, which would possibly explain why so many paid writers can’t grasp sales shifts. The other explanation is that, “Sony catching Nintendo,” is a slick headline whereas “Sony being beaten less badly by Nintendo,” is not.

What the implications of the sales shift are is still unclear. →  Readius III and IV

News We Care About Update 12.29.08

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Nintendo to offer streaming videos, just not here
Nintendo is bizarrely slow to adopt some aspects of technology. Their latest console, the Wii (pronounced “Why”), has only cursory online abilities, and lacks both a practical storage device and the ability to function as a time machine.

As a curmudgeon who spouts things like, “Game systems should do nothing but play games” I was once on board with Nintendo’s seemingly similar stance. Their real position, which they have revealed at glacial speed, is game consoles should do a lot of things poorly and much, much later than other game consoles.

Whether this half-assed approach to new technology will be their ultimate undoing as Sony and Microsoft take over your living room in 2010, your wine cellar in 2015 and your apiary in 2020 is yet to be seen.

3D games coming to the PS3?
Blitz Games, the technology experts/ design wizards behind some of the industries most beloved and respected series such as Bratz: Girlz Really Rock, Barbie Horse Adventure and the newly famous Zapper (get it now on Xbox Live!) →  How many games must a gamer play before you call him a gamer?

News We Care About Wrapup – 7.25.08

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David Cage insults MMOs
Cage, the creator of Indigo Prophecy (or if you prefer, Fahrenheit) questions the emotional significance of grinding. His points look very similar to what some of us were saying during the long comment war after this videolamer article. He goes further than we did, though, and into territory I asked one writer to avoid despite his wanting to write on it:

“I think that’s fine for people when they need to build self esteem.”

Excellent fighting words. I agree with most of Cage’s positions but remain skeptical about his talent. Indigo Prophecy had about the best first few hours of any game I’ve played but is betrayed by Cage’s (or someone at Quantic Dreams) inability to write a good story. Once the plot starts falling apart it becomes clear that the actual gameplay of IP was mundane and boring because the simple controller inputs it demands are all at the service of the story.

Grinding may be anathema to narrative but if all the game mechanics are so tightly tied to the plot that any slip in the story destroys the entire game then it’s probably a safer bet to allow your game to contain some grinding. →  U R Not lamE.

E3 08 – Nintendo Press Conference impressions

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Nintendo’s E3 conference this year was a big let down for most people. Gamers are even calling it the worst E3 presentation ever and discussing how to best dispose of their Wiis. What could Nintendo have done to have drawn this kind of ire?

Having a mom lead off the presentation didn’t exactly start things off with a bang (insert clever mom sex joke here). She has some fancy position like administrative vice principle of managerial accounting executive advertising president of marketing but that she was a mom was important.

Yes, for the first time ever Nintendo announced their goal of branching out to new kinds of gamers at this year’s E3. And how. Olympic Snowboarding Gold Medalist Carrot Top presented the first fun-for-everyone Wii title. Unfortunately Snowboarderz is being developed by Ubisoft so it will face fierce competition from Baby Party 08.

Next Nintendo showed some crappy third party games we already knew about that were somehow supposed to illustrate something, perhaps that the Wii has shitty third party support. →  Read Read Revolution: Disney Channel Edition

News We Care About Wrapup – 5.30.08

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Beyond good and sequels
Beyond Good and Evil 2 was recently released much to the joy of gaming forums everywhere. Sequels are exciting because it means more of something good. That we long for sequels seems to stem from a few things but most of them point to problems in the industry. It means we expect crap and usually get crap and when a game that’s worth playing actually comes out we want more because the other option is crap. We want sequels because we do not trust developers to make good games. If Ancel is given full reign over his next project and allowed to do what he wants, then let the man create something new. Shadow of the Colossus is the perfect example – a great game by the same designer as a game you love is even better than a sequel. We only want the sequels because they seem like a safer bet in a market full of Catz and Horsez. →  Let’s get read-y.

News We Care About Wrap Up – 5.23.08

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Too early to declare a console victor
Ignore that Microsoft recently declared that history has shown us that the first system to 10 million historically wins the race, thus heavily implying their console is the winner as it’s sold a little over 10 million in the states. Their new PR line is that declaring a winner between the PS3, Wii and 360 will be impossible until one of them reaches 100 million in sales. By this logic the only systems to have ever “won” a generation are the PS1 (barely) and the PS2, and they did it after many years on the market, long after it became apparent to everyone who doesn’t work for Microsoft that Sony had won those generations.

The long term angle behind this absurd criteria for victory may be to prevent Microsoft acknowledging any victor this generation. Unfortunately for them, the Wii has been outpacing PS2 sales and may surpass the 100 million mark and then MS will be left with, “but but but it’s a last gen system.” →  And so it games…

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 2.1.08

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New game from Parappa masterminds
Well this sounds promising. A new Wii game from the creator and lead artist of Parappa the Rapper. What’s this, Majesco is publishing it? That’ll be ok, a good idea doesn’t need 10 million dollars to work. Err, it’s a marching band simulator? That… sounds cool. I mean, I’ve always despised parades and anyone who likes them and walking around while playing music makes as much sense as reading while performing ballet, but… Kick, punch, it’s all in the mind?

90% of American DS owners pirate games
This comes from the Entertainment & Leisure Software Publishers Association and is wrong. It is so wrong it makes normally unbelievable things believable. If you told me the butter on my bagel was not actually butter right after telling me that 90% of DS owners pirate games, I wouldn’t think twice. I can believe it’s not butter when my mind is reeling from the stupidity of a statement that asserts 18 million people in the US own R4 pirate kits. →  Start your journey now, my Lord.