News We Care About Wrap Up – 5.23.08

Too early to declare a console victor
Ignore that Microsoft recently declared that history has shown us that the first system to 10 million historically wins the race, thus heavily implying their console is the winner as it’s sold a little over 10 million in the states. Their new PR line is that declaring a winner between the PS3, Wii and 360 will be impossible until one of them reaches 100 million in sales. By this logic the only systems to have ever “won” a generation are the PS1 (barely) and the PS2, and they did it after many years on the market, long after it became apparent to everyone who doesn’t work for Microsoft that Sony had won those generations.

The long term angle behind this absurd criteria for victory may be to prevent Microsoft acknowledging any victor this generation. →  Just read it.

Gaming on the L train

I like to look cool. Obviously I’m not alone in this, but living in New York and taking the much-derided (for its “hipness”) L train makes this a more pressing issue for me than most. Many of our dear readers no doubt plop into their clunky cars, polluted with fast food wrappers and other etc’s, and drive to and from work more or less anonymously. I, on the other hand get jabbed with stares by confidence-sapping girls who are far too pretty, rich, and successful to ever want to talk to me for more than an instant. Still, I like to pretend.

So when I received my shiny-black Nintendo DS for Xmas, my thoughts quickly turned to “how cool am I going to look using this on the subway?” In fact I’d say this was the second thing that came to mind, right after “why didn’t I get any fucking games?!” →  [post launches in virtual reality]

Lame discussion – What makes Metroid Metroid? Part 2

Continued from last weeks Part 1, Matt, Christian and Don discuss what makes Metroid Metroid.

Christian: That’s a major problem the game has. It doesn’t do a good job of convincing people “it’s not a shooter, it’s Metroid.”

Don: I have to agree – that is where MP3 FAILS.

Christian: The opening planet screams “HEY GUYS YOU LIKE HALO RIGHT?” “WE”VE GOT HALO! AND STAR WARS! AND DRAGONS!”

Matt: I think this was more of the fact that it’s the end of a trilogy, and they need to flesh the universe out more.

Don: I, a fairly devout Metroid fan, found the Prime series to be a wedge. A way to get ‘the hardcore’ into a dying (yes, I said it) franchise.

Matt: Wow, can’t say I agree.

Christian: To me, at the very least Nintendo doesn’t know what to do with Metroid. →  [post launches in virtual reality]

Review – Metroid Prime 3

The moment I saw it at E3 I knew it would be one of the Wii’s killer apps. If you read any of those lesser video game sites around you know that their reviews have borne my predictions out. This review then is not meant to tell you whether or not you should buy this game.

I can tell you that right off the bat: if you have any interest in FPS or adventure games, or, to use the portmanteau generated by the ever clever gaming forum communities, first person adventure games, you need to play this game. Buy it, rent it, whatever your wallet allows, it deserves a play-through because it is one of the best games currently on the Wii and it has a lot of innovation to offer. →  Onimusha 2: Samuread's Destiny

Rumor-ium: Wii killed the hardcore gamer… star.

There’s a new rumor running around the neighbor-net (which I sincerely hope is false) that says Nintendo’s Project H.A.M.M.E.R., the action title for the Wii, has been canceled.

And if that’s not bad enough, the main reason it was supposedly canceled was because Nintendo wants NST (Nintendo Software Technology) to develop “expanded audience” titles instead. And by that I’m sure they mean casual games geared towards non-gamers.

Dear God no.

In recent months, many people were worried that, with games like Nintendogs and Brain Age becoming amazingly huge hits, that the hardcore gaming sector would take a huge hit. I never thought it was ever really going to happen, as there are still a lot of games geared towards true gamers coming out in the next year or so, but this rumor has me worried. →  Postlanser: Heritage of Read

Doctor, I can’t find a (WipEout) Pulse!

If there’s anyone out there that had a bad day today, I’ve got something to bring that smile back to your face. It’s a Eurogamer interview with Clark Davies, the designer on WipEout Pulse, the sequel to Sony Liverpool’s uber-awesome PSP launch hit, WipEout Pure.

I’ve talked about my chronic love for all things WipEout in a previous blog post, but my heart went through the roof this morning after hearing all the new things they’ve managed to fit in the sequel. Better get some Vicodin for this one, it may knock you into a joy-induced coma.

First off, we have a funky new gameplay element called “Mag-Strips” that keeps your ship grounded to the track. This opens up things like loop-de-loops and other such crazy track formations, but Davies promises it will be utilized for more than “the obvious corkscrew or roller-coaster ideas.” →  Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the article?

Late to the Table: Gran Turismo 4

I originally got this game when it had reached Greatest Hits status, but only just got into it now. And I have to say that this game is extremely robust. This game would easily be lumped into my “way too long” category in my “How Long Should Games Be?” article.

But one interesting feature that I came across was the Photo Mode. Polyphony gives you the ability to take pictures of your in-game garage and save them onto a USB Memory Stick. You can then take these virtual “snapshots” and print them out at your local camera shop.

Based on the settings you use when taking the photos, the pictures can look amazingly realistic. It then turns into somewhat of an RPG, where you try to take pictures of all the cars in the game. →  Hey, hey, hey, it’s time to make some crazy reading!

Hidden Beneath the Waves: Tech Guide to your PSP

Having trouble figuring out how to make the most out of that super-sexy but dust-covered Sony PSP? Well, you came to the right place. In this guide, I will help you understand and utilize all of the abilities of the Playstation Portable. You’ll finally understand how to get podcasts, mp3’s, videos and demos working on your PSP. Sadly, this does not include homebrew, as that is beyond my technical expertise. I’m trying to make you use your PSP more, not break it in the process, as it is not legal to put homebrew on the system (dictated by Sony, of course).

Before you start, I suggest you go out and buy a 1GB Memory Stick Pro Duo from Sandisk. The memory card that Sony supplies (256MB) is far too small to use for anything worthwhile. →  Devil Summoner: Readou Kuzunoha vs. the Soulless Article

Review – Excite Truck

Excite Truck has a lot to live up to. First, it’s one of only three first-party titles to launch with the Wii, and you know that consumers were looking at Nintendo for a reason to give their crazy new gaming interface a chance. Second, with Monster 4×4 World Circuit and GT Pro failing to meet expectations, Excite Truck may be gamers’ only source for a good racing experience. Thankfully, Excite Truck is running on all cylinders, delivering an awesome, and somewhat complex, arcade racer.

Developed by Monster Games (which developed Infogrames’ NASCAR games), Excite Truck is an arcade racer that brings to the table a totally new way to drive your virtual vehicle, with help from the innovative Wii-mote.

Just how rugged is that rack?

Most of you are probably wondering about how the game handles, so I’ll get right to it. →  Devil May Read 2

Wii Have Internet. (Update 1)

Nintendo is on a roll with these Wii updates. Hot on the heels of the Weather Channel release, the Big N has seen it fit to give their fans another reason to patiently wait while Mario collects coins on the bottom of the screen. Yes, that means the Internet Channel has been set free.

Although it’s only a trial version, it gets the job done in an admirable fashion. You’ll be surfing the net in no time, all in the confines of your dark, dank dungeon of sinful pleasure. But (there’s always a “but” with Nintendo nowadays) it’s definitely far from perfect.

First, there’s no javascript or quicktime, so forget about watching movie trailers on Apple’s site. We do get Flash, though, which means Youtube is a go, but there are reports that EU users are having problems with the site. →  Is that an article in your pants, or are you just happy to read me?

The Propaganda Project: Reggie Fils Aime

Reggie Fils Aime – President Nintendo of America

Nintendo’s American President does not come from a gaming background. He was hired to compete with the bullshit artists at the other companies. Iwata is too Japanese and not in our faces enough to handle an American audience that seems to enjoy being lied to. Enter Reggie. For each new entry, I seem to invent new categories of quotes. Reggie should be honored to know that in reading transcripts of his I couldn’t help but create the “Marketing vomit” category specifically for him. Although Allard was pretty vomitty, too.

(For an explanation of what this article is, please read this.)
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Bitchy comments
Microsoft has made the comment that people can buy an Xbox 360 and Wii for about the same price as a PlayStation 3. →  The King of Articles 2002: Unlimited Match

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 7.7.06

Japanese game market doing better
The market is up 33% in the first half of the 2006. Unsurprisingly, Nintendo played a large role. While I prepare the next news point, you pick one of the two following arguments:

– The Japanese game market is being revitalized by innovation. The success of the DS is a sure sign that the Wii will do well in Japan.

– The Japanese game market is being revitalized by handhelds. This does not mean their interest in consoles will pick up.

Ok, now find a friend who picked the argument you didn’t. Found someone? Excellent, now debate.

“Damn, I really need to shave my head and lose some weight.”

Microsoft’s iPod killer coming this Christmas
Funny, MS Word doesn’t recognize iPod as a word. A lot of powerful companies have gone up against Apple and none have taken the portable MP3 player market from them. →  Just read it.

Weekly News We care About Wrap Up – 5.5.06

Analysts analyze the future through use of crystal ball
My arch enemy Michael Wallace of UBS Securities predicts this next generation console battle will be different than the last because the systems are so expensive. Startling revelation number two is that the Wii is unique so publishers won’t just port every game they make onto it. Wallace and his crony Stephen Kam think the “Wii” is a kiddy name but it won’t matter if the system has good games. Somehow these guys, who I assume majored in bullshit in college, missed the classes on image and branding because A) people don’t have infinite time to research everything so they often need to go with their gut reaction B) people are stupid and shallow and C) the name really is god awful. →  Eh, I've got nothing better to do.

Tech Guinea

Blu Ray pic
It sure is blu.

You have likely heard of the two technologies fighting for space in our computer drives and movie players: HD DVD and Blu Ray. Toshiba is the driving force of the former and Sony and Panasonic the defenders of the latter. The HD DVD is cheaper to produce and may be more easily compatible with todays technology but the Blu Ray holds more and is the better technology. But this isn’t a tech article, that would be too useful. If you want to read more about the technology read something like this.

Both formats have a large number of companies behind them. Big movie corporations are on both sides, Apple and Dell are backing the Blu Ray and now Microsoft and Intel have come out in favor of the HD DVD. →  SNK Article Classics Vol. 1