videolamer

Let’s keep working together

January 22, 2026 by friendly executive

It has recently come to my attention that a number of videolamer staff are trying to unionize. I am posting this open letter response here because I do not have all you greedy, backstabbing assholes’ email addresses. And because I care.

lame Team,

We write during this extraordinary time for our company, our site, our writers and our country to tell you we want you to love coming to work every day. We’re making progress and we will not stop trying to do our best for you. We love you.

Also, we want to share our thoughts related to the current barrage of union activity that has been directed at videolamer and other “non-union” websites during this difficult time we call the 21st century. A host of union campaigns have been launched that seek to capitalize on the current and perpetual unstable environment in America – one in which misinformation and fear are spreading unchecked in the media. Overall, it does not matter to these union advocates if their “allegations” are “true” or “not.” → There is only one really serious philosophical problem, and that is games.

Dear lamer: Child rearing advice from a professional video game player

January 16, 2026January 8, 2026 by jay

In this exciting new series, our mascot answers letters readers have sent in with sage advice.

Dear lamer,

I am a real person who hacked their Genesis mini to add a bunch of regular and popular games, such as King Colossus, that Sega omitted from the product. My neighbor, who is not actually the neighbor of someone who writes for this website, saw this excellently decked out Genesis mini and asked to borrow my “Sega Genesis” sometime in 2023. Have you noticed an immediate tell that someone doesn’t have much or any experience with Sega consoles is the use of the word “Sega” before naming a system? It’s a Genesis, a Saturn, a Dreamcast. No one cool says Sega Genesis or Sega Dreamcast, just like anyone familiar with Nintendo doesn’t call the Super Nintendo the Nintendo Super Nintendo.

Anyway, I digress. So I was in my neighbor’s backyard the other day and could see into the basement through the windows (it’s a walk-in basement so I wasn’t being weirder than the average weird guy) and noticed the neighbor’s boy, let’s call him Avid… no, how about Davi, yes that works, so Davi is playing Herzog Zwei on the Genesis mini I lent. → Welcome to read.

Another Tragic Christmas

January 16, 2026December 30, 2025 by jay

The Christmas after I left my parents home for good I wrote out my list and mailed it to the North Pole, like I had every year. For the first time in my life, Santa Claus did not come. It took some time to make peace with this fact. While attending college I still went home for holidays and summers and Santa kept delivering. Apparently, once you graduate and fully move out of your parent’s home, Santa is made aware, likely via Christmas magic, and considers you an adult unqualified to receive gifts. I am mostly over this unpleasant reality, though it still stings a little. But what came next is simply wrong.

Since my child could speak, we have made a list of requested toys and sent it off to the NP. And since we started this tradition, my kid has received exactly zero gifts from Santa. Every Christmas is full of dashed hope and fresh tears as we realize we have been snubbed yet again by Saint Nick. → Just read it.

A Christmas Revelation

January 16, 2026December 25, 2025 by jay

Despite what the man wants you to believe, video games are fairly true to life. For example, people do drop money when you kill them, and while you have no literal meter filling up with points, you do gain experience that makes killing the next person easier. And, if Catharism is to be believed, and I can see no reason it shouldn’t, dying in real life simply results in respawning, much like in a game. This realism makes games a great tool for educating our children but there is the hidden danger that they learn unfactual things, or unlearn factual things from them. One of the widest spread misconceptions from video games, movies, and lithographs is the lie that skeletons can smile. (Technically, skulls smile in media and not skeletons but if you smiled at me wearing all of your muscles and skin I would say something normal like “Your body has a nice smile,” and not something weird like, “Your face has a nice smile.”) → The only thing we have to read is read itself.

Rest in Peace, Kirk

January 16, 2026November 4, 2025 by the gang

videolamer has belatedly learned of the tragic shooting of an important warrior for Christianity who dedicated his life to helping Americans show us their smile again. It is with heavy heart that we must waste many minutes crying for Kirk Cameron, who was tragically gunned down in Utah in September. Though his mission seems to be over, I can guarantee that we are nowhere near the end. There are millions dedicated to his teachings and I promise you that the best is ready to begin.

When I look round at the other proud patriots I realize that as long as we’ve got each other, we will one day be victorious. The Globalists may seem to be in charge but I remind you, as Kirk Cameron often did, that Jesus has the world spinning right in his hands. Side by side with Him, you and me have got to be as powerful as any army the world has ever seen. Never quit pursuing our dream of a better world. → Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty article.

2005 – 2025: Taste Differences and Opinion Shifts, Part 2

January 16, 2026October 30, 2025 by pat and jay

Last post we brought you Cunzy and Chris’s’s comparisons of their 2005 versus 2025 tastes. Now, we bring you the Shaolin duo of Pat and Jay. Expect about 4,000% more discussion of Souls games and then be disappointed that somehow those games didn’t come up. Don’t you feel foolish? I do mention Shenmue, though.

Pat

In 2009 I began keeping a spreadsheet that tracks all the games I finish each year. Astute readers will note that 2009 happened after 2005, and conclude that I do not have a complete and accurate record of the games I played that year. My memory – I know where I lived at that time and can remember playing certain games there – and the internet provide some clues to what I was playing in or around 2005, and comparing what I think I was playing then to what I play today reveals more similarities than differences.

Through that period the majority of my gaming took place on a PS2. → Rayman Reading Rabbids

2005 – 2025: Taste Differences and Opinion Shifts, Part 1

January 16, 2026October 28, 2025 by the gang

Based on my math, 2005 was 20 years ago. I have used this pleasing round number as an excuse to write about the games I was playing then and compare them to what I play today. The other videolamer contributors were also asked for contributions and some even answered – see their exciting responses above mine, which will actually be posted in a Part 2, because I am nothing if not the most humble person on earth.

Cunzy

I often think about how, as a gamer* the best time to be born was late 70s-early 80s. We went from not having computers at home to early home systems, LCD handhelds, home consoles and handheld systems to all singing, all dancing entertainment and gaming monoliths under the TV. We filled in the pixel worlds with our imaginations to translate yellow squares into dragons, coins, cars and spaceships, blips and bloops into epic soundtracks all the way through to games-as-a-lifestyle, cinematic, limitless, endlessly playable, online, living multiverse games. → Fire Post Wrestling Returns

20 Lame Years

January 16, 2026October 9, 2025 by jay

Like A Less Successful, Worse Insert Credit

videolamer is 20 years old. It has only been active for 8 of those years, but if productivity were the criteria for age I would be 11 and not 43. Celebrate with us by playing a round of Chu Chu Rocket and reading the garbage I wrote below.

Since our inception, we have received rave reviews from within and without the video game and industrial cleaning supply industries. Here are just some of the things people have been saying about videolamer:

“One of my top 100 favorite sites right now. [May, 2008]” – Max from gamelemon

“Where are the videos?” – my son

“I can’t read.” – my daughter

“Me pooped.” – a different my son

“The only meaningful thing I’ve ever done.” – me

“Not consistently funny enough to be a comedy website, not consistently serious enough to be a gaming website, not continually active enough to be a website.” – Tiger Beat

“Don’t give up.

→ You had me at read more.