Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 6.16.06

Round 1: Uwe versus Alien!

Uwe Boll challenges his critics to a boxing match
The sad thing is my borough president challenged his competitor to a boxing match so whatever I say about Boll directly applies to someone with much more power. Actually, that’s not true. Guy Molinari may be as stupid as Boll and may think that punching people makes you smarter, more capable of governing, or more capable of directing than your opponent, but Molinari is not responsible for the Alone in the Dark movie. Uwe Boll is, and should be beaten up for it.

Blizzard denies working on MMO versions of Starcraft and Diablo

This means nothing other than Blizzard won’t officially say they’re working on these titles now.

ARR! Pirate DS carts
Want a game that doesn’t require your progress to be saved? Buy it pirated on eBay! I’m just kidding. And what the hell games are you playing that don’t save?

Following the hoards of illegal GBA carts, now we can buy poor quality versions of DS games. I am for emulation of older systems, against pirated copies of newer games, and ok with downloading music. So I am an enigma wrapped in a hypocrite, but when the time came to play those GBA games I downloaded, did I do it? No, my computer crashed.

Who gave James Lipton that Xbox 360?

Peter Moores back comments not compatible
Moore has apologized for “all the trauma” he has caused to gamers and has said that Microsoft is going to get damn close to the promised 360 full backwards compatibility. I like Moore. He seems to say stupid things nearly as often as the other assholes, like Allard, or Harrison, but his sense of humor really takes the edge off the fact that he is paid to lie to us.

DS Lite US sales
136,500 units sold in two days. That sounds like a lot, let me go do some research, though, I’ll be right back.

Ok, DS Lite sales beat the launch of the Gameboy SP sales. The DS Lite sells about 135,000 every week in Japan, despite being launch months ago. According to Sony, the PSP sold 500,000 units in the day of and the day after the launch in the US. I think Sony likes to use shipped and not sold numbers, and the DS Lite is a relaunch not really a launch. Even so, a successful Nintendo launch seems to lack the hype and oomph of a successful Sony launch.

The future of the “Hero” games
A high end guitar model? I’d buy three. Online capability to download more songs? Sounds great. More Hero games that aren’t guitar based? Only if it’s French Horn Hero.

Interview with Randy Smith from the Thief series
I usually try to keep from linking to this site because it tends to post misleading headlines and the owner hates the Wii (which makes sense when you consider the guy is psychic and can tell now that it’ll suck in the future), but this is an interesting interview. It feels a little like the guy asking the questions is pushing for Smith to admit that Thief 3 was a sell out title but Smith doesn’t.

This will look amazing in HD.

Dragon’s Lair in High Def
This game may have little or no gameplay, but it sure does rock. I will certainly be picking it up after I get a HD TV in 2011.

Tim Schafer wants Psychonauts to be playable on the 360
This seems like a sensible request, since it’s one of the systems best games. Also, Tim is goddamn funny and completely positive at the same time. How does he do it? I hear he even designs video games in between writing funny posts on the Double Fine site. I wonder if he’d be interested in writing for Lamer…

Gamepro lists the top 11 controllers

D Pad — Nintendo
VMU — Sega
Analog Stick — Nintendo
Analog Triggers — Sega
Shoulder Buttons — Nintendo

Notice where the innovation comes from. Somehow the Xbox controller is on the list, despite the start, select, and black and white buttons being nearly impossible to press. And somehow the six button Genesis and/or Saturn controller (basically the same thing) was left off despite being absurdly comfortable and fitting hands perfectly.

Notify of

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
18 years ago

The fact that Dragon’s Lair fooled stupid arcade players back in 1983, and is still being sold in various forms to this very day proves the saying “There’s a sucker born every minute”

18 years ago

It looks like a dream, but when I hear the amount of money some arcades charged for a play, for a game involving complete guess work as to how to respond to each scene…no, I can’t accept that. There has to be a better way.