We can’t really be this stupid

ReggieHatesYou

When my fiancee tells her friends that she’s engaged to a fairly devoted gamer she is almost universally met with reticence; those ‘I feel sorry for you’ little smiles, vacant head bobs and the ubiquitous ‘oh… that’s, um, cool’.

This is because, even though G4 Tech TV, Spike and the Sci-Fi channel would have you believe otherwise, we are not mainstream. Realize that even though you know more gamers today than you ever have in your life, the majority of our country still asks if we use Nintendo Tapes(???) for our xBoxen. We are gaining momentum, yes. Our industry is becoming a huge cash generator and more people than ever are joining the cause, but we’re not at the point just yet where more than 10% of the populace doesn’t think of us as basement dwelling dweebs. →  The happiest post on Earth.

Kutaragi is Kutarazy

Ken Kutaragi recently made it known that he has design ideas for the PS4. And the PS5. And the PS6. Based on Phil Harrison’s declaration that the PS3 is future proof, the PS4 should hit the market between about 84 thousand years from now and never. But even if you’re one of those cynics who don’t believe everything PR people say, you’ve got to figure the PS4 will launch around 2012. With five years each generation, that gives us the PS6 in 2022, a full 15 years from now.

Maybe Kutaragi has a knack for correctly interpreting Nostradamus, but he is probably just delusional. How could he possibly be planning anything beyond the color of the PS6 casing? Technology advances in fits and starts and is difficult to predict even without any unforeseen break throughs (cars, radio, TV, internet, The Clapper). →  SaGa 3: Shadow or Write

Goat of War

In a shockingly candid interview with videolamer, Phil Harrison has granted us some insight into the often confusing world of Sony PR. The recent goat incident, in which a decapitated goat was refitted with the head of a Bigfoot costume, is just a spark in the upcoming storm of marketing blitz Sony will be unleashing this summer, says Harrison.

“The next God of War installment is coming soon, and we have ads that will make the white PSP advert look tame.”

In addition to unrolling a host of new printed ads, including an image of Kratos circumcising Zeus, Harrison promises Sony events to further get us in the warring mood.

“The standard headless goat stunt we used for God of War 2 simply won’t impress any longer. I can’t give too much away, but I can mention that we have constructed a flesh and bones minotaur. →  Start your journey now, my Lord.

Console Predictions from a Gamer

After what felt like three bajillion years (which seemed to be filled with pointless bickering), all three systems are finally out on the market, waiting for whomever wants to jump into the next-generation console war. The last few months have been a very telling period for gaming, with the PS3 not performing as well as some would hope, and Nintendo’s new console coming completely out of nowhere with some amazing numbers, especially considering it’s coming off the heels of possibly the worst performing Nintendo console ever, the GameCube. With that in mind, we can get into the nitty gritty: the future. What’s in store for each player in the console war? We can’t say for sure exactly, but we can have fun predicting.

Xbox 360: In a startling revelation that I’ve found while roaming this clogged series of tubes, many people who were on the fence about the 360 went straight for it the moment the PS3 stumbled coming out of the gate last November. →  Readius III and IV

Sony’s “big announcements” at GDC07

I’m really unimpressed with Phil Harrison’s GDC07 presentation. Not one of the announcements made me re-think my choice to not purchase a PS3.

Playstation Home is basically “Second Life” or “There,” and not in any way new or innovative as the press keeps saying. Why would I want to use a $600 console to make an avatar and hang out in an online version of the Sims? And then pay real money for digital clothes and furniture to show off to people I wouldn’t want to talk to anyway? No thanks. This just seems to be Sony’s lame attempt at cashing in on the Web 2.0 market (the MySpace generation). “Hey kids, you can use this boxed computer and internet connection to talk to other people online. Don’t forget to make your avatar your own by giving us some cash for generic yet ad-supported mechandise. →  What is a post? A miserable little pile of secrets.

N’Gai Croal to Phil Harrison: What’s Up With Rare?

Following yesterday’s big news story about Rare’s departing co-founding brothers, Chris and Tim Stamper, N’Gai Croal of Newsweek interviewed Sony’s Phil Harrison and asked him what he thought of Rare’s recent decline in fame.

Can someone explain to me why he asked Sony this question? Did he willingly pick the most irrelevant person to ask, or was it, “Damn, I have this huge hole in my Q&A sheet. Hmmmm. Oh, I know what to fill it in with!”

Phil tries admirably to dodge the issue a bit, and tries to assume logically what happened.

“… I think that they became quite insular and quite inward-facing, and they missed some of the trends that were going on in the business generally. Now also, if you sell your company to Microsoft and get hundreds of millions of whatevers, currency in the bank, it does tend to defocus management a little bit.” →  Tony Hawk's Posting Ground

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 12.22.06

Resident Evil 5 not coming in ‘07
1up has reported that the next proper sequel in the Resident Evil franchise will be coming in 2008, if not later. I don’t know where I’ll be living or working in six months and I’m supposed to care about a game that may not be out for three years? Human life probably won’t even exist by that point, and if it does, we will surely have evolved gills and other radical changes that will make gaming obsolete. Capcom might as well just say that Resident Evil 5 is never coming out.

Good games coming to the Virtual Console this Christmas
Some people have bitched about the low quality of Virtual Console titles. For every Zelda, Nintendo gives us a Solomon’s Key, Altered Beast and Tennis. →  This better not be as bad as everything else here.

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 12.8.06

Analyst predicts doom for blu-ray
A study has found that HD DVD has more positive buzz than the Blu-ray, at least partially because Sony is backing the Blu-ray format. I will now do my part to add to the negative Blu-ray buzz — Boo Blu-ray!

Maybe real issues would be taken seriously if there were violent video games about them.

Democrats focused on what really matters – videogames
“We all share in the responsibility of making sure our children play age-appropriate video games, and I’m pleased that the ESRB and retailers are working together to educate parents about the video game ratings and make sure they are enforced. As we enter the holiday shopping season, it is important that parents have the information they need to make informed choices that are right for their families,” said Senator Clinton. →  NiGHTS into REaDS

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 11.10.06

One of the worst Top Ten Worst Games of All Time lists
Top 10, 25, 50, whatever lists are one of my worst enemies. They are vacuous and a cheap excuse for content. Even an unnumbered list is significantly better because from the outset the author wasn’t just trying to fill a number of slots. This link is to one of the dumbest Top 10 lists I’ve seen in a while but since it’s posted on a major site, many big blogs picked it up. Oh, the injustice!

Significantly worse than Postal.

It seems as if the author of this list may not play games. He acknowledges that peoples’ opinions will differ and that it’s hard compiling a list of the worst games ever made, but that caveat doesn’t save him. →  Speak softly and carry a big post.

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 10.20.06

PS1 games downloadable on PS3
Actual good news for Sony? It seems so. The company plans to have their entire PS1 catalogue available, sans the games that are too messy contract-wise. What are the odds they port some Japanese only titles for American downloading? Yeah, zero, I know.

Have stock in Sony?

Sony profit forecast not very encouraging
Among the reasons for the lowered forecast were lower than expect PSP sales, higher than expected Cell processor costs and the lowered PS3 price. If they really needed to stabilize themselves, why not just put out a 360 clone? If the PS3 cost $400 and had the PlayStation exclusives the PS2 had, Sony would’ve easily maintained their #1 position. I guess big risks sometimes pay off, but how about Sony release more big risk games instead of a big risk console? →  I’m readin’ here!

Howard Stringer and the Sony Machine

So Wired.com has an article discussing Sony and how much they are betting on the Playstation 3 and it really got me thinking. The press, as well as gamers themselves, love to fling insults at Kaz Hirai, Phil Harrison, and Ken Kutaragi (many well deserved). However, there’s one name that is rarely dropped, though this man is arguably even more detrimental to Sony. I’m talking about Howard Stringer.

If you don’t know, Stringer is the current head honcho over at Sony. He also happens to come from the content side of the company. This is dangerous. Sony made their name on great hardware made by talented, motivated engineers. That same spirit is what led Kutaragi to make the Playstation in the first place. With Stringer at the helm, we’ve got a PS3 that insists on Blu Ray and insists on being an even bigger all-in-one media machine. →  All this can be yours, if the read is right.

Lame Discussion: Console War – Part 1

Kudos on joining us for our second discussion. Well, actually you’re not joining us because it’s already over and you weren’t invited. But thanks for reading. The format may look a little confusing but shouldn’t be too hard to grasp for anyone who has ever held a conversation (which may not be all of you, I know gaming is a harsh mistress).

The contenders:
Dan – Really just wants to talk about the Wii.
Christian – Is slightly upset with Sony.
Golden Jew – May be secretly working for Sony.
Jay – Forces others complex arguments into black and white.
Pat – Will never make it through a whole discussion.
Stefan – Is planning to buy his first new console since the Dreamcast.
________________________________
Jay: In this coming generation of consoles, who will sell the most systems? →  Now with fewer vowels.

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 7.14.06

Phil Harrison doesn’t think Sony is arrogant
Phil is one of my (many) mortal enemies and it just so happens I compiled some of his best quotes and posted them right here. He may be more talented, successful, and smell less than I, but he is still a douche bag. You see, I don’t lie in public. And when I do, it’s just posted on a tiny little site no one gives a shit about. My lies reach dozens of people, his reach possibly millions. He also makes a lot more.

Violent crime may not pay, but amorality seems to be the road to success (fine, so lying for your employer may be immoral, not amoral. But if he is willing to kill for Sony, then perhaps he is amoral. →  In the beginning games created the heavens and the earth.

The Propaganda Project: Introduction

This project will seem unnecessary to many. It’s taken for granted that PR people don’t always tell the truth or say intelligent things, and actively worship Satan (probably). I, unfortunately, am still not numb to stupid things. Misleading statements, half truths, and arrogance still piss me off. Perhaps I overreact, but maybe people with six digit salaries would stop saying stupid things if the public called them out more often.

I have compiled a large body of research on each of the key figures in the three competing hardware giants. Not all fill explicitly PR roles. In fact, most of the people profiled have titles that indicate they should be doing something better with their time than insulting their competitors. Most of the sources for my research are interviews these important figures have given with game and business magazines and websites; sources are listed at the end of each profile. →  Read awhile, and listen.

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 6.9.06

Jaws Unleashed


Majesco makes money

I’ve written about this company a few times because they dared to take a chance on some creative games and nearly went bankrupt for it. Now they have a different direction that focuses less on making premium titles and more on making shitty games that sell. Their portable lineup is actually respectable, but with console titles like Jaws Unleashed, it won’t be hard to turn my back on Majesco and hope EA buys them out only to make them all sex slaves (they’ll be paid for 40 hours a week, but not for the overtime they put in).

Hillary Clinton’s Media Guide for Parents (complete with cute drawing of children)
Clinton basically suggests we read Common Sense Media’s take on media ratings. The Common Sense Media people are about “media sanity, not censorship.” →  Devil Summoner: Readou Kuzunoha vs. the Soulless Article