posts by the marketeer
the marketeer

10 Steps to Making Money with a Gaming Blog

by

People often ask me why I waste my vast cornucopia of knowledge of all things business on a minuscule website. I can afford to do this because I retired at the age of 14 after selling multiple blogs for millions of dollars a pop. This site provides a platform to share my expertise without the threat of anyone emailing for follow up information. Follow the 10 steps below (each as important as the last and therefore all assigned the number 1) and you, too, can retire at 14 by selling your weblog.

  1. Choose how much you want to make

The first step anyone reasonable takes before doing anything creative is to analyze the market and choose a segment that matches desired returns. How much would you like to make from blogging? Assuming you chose billions, we can then conclude you need to write about video games. There may be skeptics who are unaware games are a $280 billion a year industry and so I will spell it out in painful detail for these slower than average readers. →  Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Bore me and I sleep.

Early to the End of the Party – videolamer NFTs

by

To celebrate the return of videolamer we will be offering site relevant NFTs to our diehard readers and general fans. Images such as our logo, logo with inverted colors, old logo, and the old “lamer” character made in 2 minutes using MS Paint will be available on a first come first served basis.

Because I don’t understand NFTs, I will be emailing the relevant gif or jpg to the address you provide for the price of $1,000 per file. I ask our readers to not save any of our proprietary, definitely copyrighted images in the meantime. We have a large team of high powered lawyers standing beside our GoDaddy server listening closely to the site for right clicks.

All of us at videolamer are excited to pull up our sleeves, strike while the iron is hot, and get in on the ground floor of what will inevitably prove to be the new foundation of the video game industry, the NFT. We believe what we have to offer can act as the cornerstones of that foundation and are proud to have this opportunity to sell these landmarks to you. →  In all ages, hypocrites, called producers, have put crowns upon the heads of thieves, called publishers.

Squeezing successful sequels out of lemons

by

Every generation a handful of tepid titles are chosen as poster children for innovative yet tragically ignored games. If these games were innovative in a way that actual consumers want, they would not just review well, but sell. As it is, these titles range from boring to unplayable. Luckily for developers, the underground hype these games have built up can be harnessed. Couple word of mouth with severely modified design approaches, and these series may yet have some profit potential.

The weak original: Beyond Good and Evil
Ubisoft made many grievous judgment errors with this one. Adventuring and taking pictures of endangered species may be fun for environmentalists, but not American men. To make matters worse, players are given a female lead character to control. This was done because it would be wholly unbelievable that any man would waste his time taking National Geographic photographs. However noble their motives, Ubisoft’s game bombed. This is a clear case of the market not just telling designers that women should only be taking pictures of their hair, clothes, horses and boyfriends, but demanding exciting male leads in their games. →  We have the best words.

How to write a Holiday Shopping Guide

by

If you are running any sort of successful games website, you should already have your Holiday Shopping Guide up and collecting income. These guides are essential for grabbing a nice chunk of holiday web traffic and advertising money from online retailers. If by some chance you still haven’t made yours, videolamer is here to help with this easy to follow step by step guide.

1) Start Early:
In the last decade, we marketing folk succeeded in eliminating Thanksgiving from the collective minds of everyone but grocery stores and the NFL. And, if our research is correct, people are glad that the stress and frustration of holiday shopping can now go on for an even longer stretch of time. This means that you can publish your guide at any point in November. Don’t worry about it being too close to Halloween; we’re working on getting rid of that one too. Also, don’t be afraid if half of the big end of year releases haven’t even hit shelves by the time you publish. →  Tokyo Xtreme Reader: Drift 2

Nintendo’s new ad campaign

by

Nintendo knows that simply marketing their Wii console with standard ads would not take full advantage of the system’s propaganda potential. To tap into the marketing power of the system’s gimmick, they have begun releasing what they call life style ads. Writers at other gaming sites (who specialize in games and not advertising) have ignorantly mocked these ads as bad Gap knock offs. Little do they realize that Nintendo’s life style shots are what the company needs to appeal to a host of demographics traditionally not interested in video games. Study the following six photos for a minute and see if you can identify the demographic they capture before scrolling down to the answer.

1.

.

.

.

Demographic: Interracial couples who don’t understand that not all controllers sense motion

People who don’t understand new technology need new technology, too. Nintendo has found through surveys that 14% of the public believe Wii game discs will be both motion sensitive and edible. →  Arc the Post: Twilight of the Spirits

11 Rules for making a successful gaming website

by

This guide will enable you to climb to the top of the internets.

Successful gaming websites don’t make themselves. They are created by webmasters who follow sets of rules posted at other websites. To help you bring your site to the forefront of the internet, here is a list of what must be done.

1 – Make headlines more misleading
A rumor may only be a rumor, but why run the risk of losing hits by clearly marking it as so in a headline? The best aggregator sites understand that when someone clicks on a link to one of their articles and the story turns out to be different than they expected, the reader is thankful that the site has cleared up any misconceptions due to the inaccurate headline. Thus, misleading headlines are a way to engender trust with your readers.

2 – Make headlines more sensational
Sensational headlines are necessary for tricking people into visiting your website. Sites should not rely on writing interesting content or the strength of their writers to attract visitors but rather outlandish article titles that grab a readers attention. →  It’s time to read and chew bubblegum… and I’m all outta gum.

Pages: 1 2

The next generation of handhelds

by

Handheld video games are important to us because they offer profit with minimal development costs. If a console title costs 10 million dollars but two years to make, the seemingly large profits come at a very high cost. Handheld games take a fraction of the development time, a fraction of the development cost and can still sell millions of copies.

The new generation of consoles is currently delighting gamers across the globe, but where are the new handhelds? Through my business contacts, I have been lucky enough to uncover the next generation of handhelds. So read this over and then put your marketing team to work.
__

Sony PSP2 — Sony has finally stopped pretending the PSP is for new titles and delivered what consumers really want — a portable PS1. The beauty of the PSP2s design is it accepts PS1 game discs right out of the box so players no longer need to wait for the games to be ported. →  Start your journey now, my Lord.

A guide to selling extra content

by

Microsoft and Oblivion have shown the world that gamers will actually buy discreet bits of additional content for their favorite games. Designing a method that allows a game to create a constant stream of revenue is ingenious, and now that the groundwork has been laid for us all we need to do to take advantage of this lucrative business opportunity is jump on the bandwagon. So then the question is not how do we set up a system that continually milks our fans, but rather what exactly do we use to separate them from their money; what content can we sell and to whom?

Any mildly proactive person can see that things like weapons, armor, and other gear can be sold to players for additional fees. This is exactly what has happened in the game Oblivion. But this kind of rigid thinking will not allow us to maximize profits. We need to push the envelope to capitalize on all market segments. →  You lost me.

The videolamer Guide to In-Game Advertising

by

Video games are an exciting new medium, primarily because of the potential for huge profits. These profits won’t just fall into our laps, though. Video games are unlike other media, and as such we cannot rely on the same tired marketing tactics. An annoying tagline like “can you hear me now?” may work on TV, but that’s because TV viewers are morons. The gamer is slightly more clever and we must treat him as such. Because most marketing is aimed at stupid people, most ad agencies will not have the know how to target a gaming audience. This guide, specifically tailored to the advertising needs of the video game advert, will lead you step by step to your ultimate goal: Take money from the ignorant.

1. Target your demographic

An ad, no matter how clever and well thought out, will not make an impact if it is seen by the wrong audience. Advertising ring pops to the elderly is simply a waste of resources. →  Ask not what this post can do for you - ask what you can do for this post.

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5

Learning from Japanese Synergy

by

Synergy is not a word to be recklessly tossed about. It is a seriously proactive relationship between outside of the box marketing and paradigm shifting branding that can result in untold of revenue for your company. The video game market has created new opportunities for the realignment of business models in this post category killer Ted spread. Tracing this synergy to its roots leads us across the Pacific.

The Japanese consumer will buy anything. Despite saving more than Americans, the Japanese are extremely hardcore in their loyalty. People who follow an anime will buy any worthless product tie in, people who like school girls will spend money on used school girl underwear, and people who like a game series will buy food and drinks as long as it has the series logo on it.

This is the Final Fantasy XII Potion beverage:

It is a product of Suntory’s beverage making know how and Square Enix’s marketing magic. The product, made primarily of sugar dissolved in tap water, will sell for about $1.75, or for the collector who prefers to display beverages rather than drink them, a set can be purchased for around $5.35. →  Rayman Reading Rabbids