the marketeer

Nintendo’s new ad campaign

Nintendo knows that simply marketing their Wii console with standard ads would not take full advantage of the system’s propaganda potential. To tap into the marketing power of the system’s gimmick, they have begun releasing what they call life style ads. Writers at other gaming sites (who specialize in games and not advertising) have ignorantly mocked these ads as bad Gap knock offs. Little do they realize that Nintendo’s life style shots are what the company needs to appeal to a host of demographics traditionally not interested in video games. Study the following six photos for a minute and see if you can identify the demographic they capture before scrolling down to the answer.

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Demographic: Interracial couples who don’t understand that not all controllers sense motion

People who don’t understand new technology need new technology, too. Nintendo has found through surveys that 14% of the public believe Wii game discs will be both motion sensitive and edible. Slow people often purchase whatever product is shiniest so this is Nintendo’s attempt to break that trend (the PS3 spec sheet clearly states that it will be the shiniest console ever).

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Demographic: Interracial couples who keep consoles as close to their couch as possible

People who insisted on playing with their systems in their laps or in the immediate proximity once made up a huge share of the market. Then came the Play Station. You must know about the system’s notorious over heating problem, but something you may not have heard about (because Sony likes their secrets) is the rash of fires caused from PS1s overheating on peoples couches. The PS2 did little to recover the huge losses in this target demographic, but now Nintendo hopes their life style marketing will entice these people to risk being burned to death for a game of SpongeBob SquarePants: Creature from the Krusty — Krab.

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Demographic: Fathers with kids who need haircuts

Relaxed, laid back dads don’t generally buy video game systems for their kids. This is because the unwatched child has already or will soon develop a drug habit and video games will be seen as a waste of precious time that could be used shaking down other kids in the lunch room for opium money. Nintendo wants to bridge this generational gap, and if they keep some kids off drugs, so be it.

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Demographic: Friends who play video games before and after orgies

The sexually successful has long been a demographic far out of the video game industry’s reach. No rational human can present a convincing reason to play a video game instead of having sex with a man, women, group of men and women or even an attractive pony. I respect Ninteno’s tenacity and enjoy the orgy bed they’ve captured in this ad, but it is a lost cause; these people will never play video games.

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Demographic: The deformed

Sadly, in today’s modern world there are those who will tell you oddly proportioned people can’t do what regular people do. Even sadder, despite everyone being equal, this seems to be true. But gaming is something even hideously deformed people, who have little reason to go on living and must be angry at God for even allowing them to be born, can do, assuming they have a thumb or two and some fleshy mass to provide grasping pressure. Nintendo is making a bold and respect worthy move by advertising directly to the deformed. They mostly have bad jobs because they can’t do things that normal people can do, but they still have some extra cash to buy games with. Kudos to Nintendo for breaking down barriers and erasing prejudice.

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bmx
bmx
15 years ago

Man some of those pix really are deformed, especially that
one of that guy’s weird-ass face at the very top/left of this equally deformed
website.  

jay
Admin
jay
15 years ago

The pics have been shrunk to scale and have been reduced in quality to make them load faster but they are not deformed. And what face at the top left?

Christian
Christian
15 years ago

Jay this is our first troll.  You know they’ll never come back to reply to you.

Dan
Dan
15 years ago

As a member of the deformed community, I am happy that a company is finally reaching out to people of our kind. I am sure to buy a wii now that I know it tries to accomadate for my oddly shaped and overly-large head.

Wilhelm
Wilhelm
15 years ago

wuahaha lol, so funny

Max
Max
15 years ago

Your first troll?!  I am jealous!  This calls for a drink!
p.s. Great stuff, 4 and 5 are a riot :)