Articles

Suicidal Wii

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My Wii almost met with a tragic end this week when it decided to shut itself off for good. Apparently it couldn’t take the “Wii” jokes anymore.

Last night, as I walk in from a long day of doing nothing, my Wii’s little orangey-yellow light wasn’t on. I, sensing something wrong, did what all red-blooded Americans do: I hit it. I gave it good, hard slap in the self-loading disc drive. Nope, no good. I checked all the wires, all the outlets, and anything else related to the problem, but nothing worked.

Distraught over the loss of my one true friend, I decided to call up Nintendo and plan out a proper funeral for the little guy. With minimal wait time (props to Nintendo for the awesome background video game music while on hold, btw), I got connected with the proper authorities. →  [send private information]

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 1.18.07

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Breaking news: Bill Gates likes the 360
When asked how the system’s strategy is working out, Gates replied, “It’s working perfectly.” So they DID mean to launch with nothing worth buying, have fewer than a 10 million lead on their year delayed competition, and fail in Japan a second time. That’s a relief. Other comedic tidbits — Gates says Sony is their biggest competition, despite last week saying Nintendo was their biggest competition, and then goes on to brag about owning Rare, which was largely a waste of millions of dollars.

Gates is a bright guy, sure, but he is also a bullshit artist. Other gaming sites have said that he is a man who doesn’t mince words; he says what he means and means what he says. These sites are wrong and possibly deluded. →  Ba da bam ba baa I’m readin’ it.

The Ubi-Soft Effect

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Remember when Ubi-Soft was all gung-ho for the Wii? They jumped on the Wii like it was a free ticket to Pleasure Town.

For the uninformed, Ubi-Soft bet high on the Wii. They thought getting a head-start with the Wii would help them become the top publisher in gaming, besting the almighty EA. Since the launch of the Wii, Ubi-Soft has released 7 games in total, which is three more than Nintendo themselves(based on American release lists).

Interesting thing about this situation is the mentality behind making these games. You’d think after seeing Red Steel being showcased in Nintendo’s conference at this year’s E3 that Ubi-Soft wanted to bring gamers a more quality-centric release list, but has in fact done the complete opposite. After tallying up the average scores from Metacritic, Ubi-Soft’s titles have averaged a score of 54. →  Ridge Reader V

Parents just don’t understand

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My parents recently started reading this website. I’m confident they are happy with what their 120 thousand dollar college investment has yielded. The down side is I may have to watch my language and sexual innuendos from now on because those things didn’t exist in the olden days and would surely shock anyone over 30.

A more disturbing problem is that my parents have no idea what any of these articles are about. It’s a proven fact that most specialized fields use vocabulary outsiders cannot understand just for the sake of being exclusionary (cardiac arrest? Yeah, sure doctor, those are real words). Gaming journalism is no different and I’m afraid this site is part of the problem. What problem, I’m not sure, possibly global warming.

Because my parents never discouraged my gaming and only encouraged me to get off my ass from time to time, I owe it to them to explain some of the terms this site uses on a daily basis. →  U R Not lamE.

Best Game Ever – Pinball Quest

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Genre blending is a splendid little thing. Diddy Kong Racing, one of Rare’s greatest Nintendo 64 games, is a wonderful mix of racing and adventure. Mario & Luigi Super Star Saga is a clever RPG with platforming elements thrown in. Games that stick adamantly to a certain form run the risk of getting stale, and introducing elements from other genres is a great way to keep things fresh.

I don’t get it.

Video game pinball is no stranger to this phenomenon. I remember the high hopes I had for Odama when I first heard about it sometime a few years ago. A pinball-based tactical wargame? That sort of thing just sells itself. Mario Pinball Land, similarly, had you explore typically Mario-esque worlds with a peculiar ball-shaped Mario. Interesting concepts, and rarely seen, too. →  Read me now, believe me later.

Numbers are fun: Year end edition – The handhelds

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A few months ago I reported that the DS was an unstoppable juggernaut that had put quite some distance between itself and the PSP. Elsewhere on this site we have mentioned that PSP software sales have fallen off. After looking at some year end numbers on handheld sales, I hold to the argument that the DS will be (already is?) the victor in this generation of portable video games I think it may be a bit early to buy Sony’s product a headstone. Lets go to the proverbial video tape.

Both handheld companies entered 2006 with approximately 3.7 million units of hardware sold (DS had slightly more, PSP slightly less, but DS also had a three month head start). In the US the DS then outpaced the PSP by selling 5.3 million units (combined DS and DS Lite) while PSP managed a very respectable 3 million. →  Finger lickin’ read.

This Week’s Releases: Megaton Edition

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Now that the holiday season has officially ended, video game releases are becoming pretty scarce. For this week, there are only eight new releases for all platforms, but you should only be paying attention to three of them.

First, we get the sequel to my favorite DS game of all time, Phoenix Wright: Justice for All. In this edition, we are introduced to a new mechanic called “Psych-Lock,” which is an ability that reveals the truth in your witness’s mind. Unfortunately, this is still just a port of a GBA game, Gyakuten Saiban 2. Even worse is that there isn’t any extra mission that takes advantage of the DS’s innovative hardware like the original DS outing. But with all those missed opportunities, I am still frothing at the mouth for this game. →  Who is that standing behind you?

Series Retrospective: Mega Man

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Oh, Mega Man. Do we still love you? Time was we never thought that could be a question. Even when you faltered, you still gave rise to some very quality action-platformers. But you’ve been around for a while now, and almost every console since the NES has been graced — or maybe cursed? — with your round, blue head. As result, many see you as old and stale, surpassing even Street Fighter as the primary symbol of Capcom’s tendency to rehash their most popular franchises (which often overshadows the fact that the company has created some very good new IP’s in the last few years).

But forget what the pundits say. Mega Man was one of my favorite series as a child, and I feel that its sheer longevity earns the Blue Bomber a Series Retrospective. →  Reading. Reading never changes.

Dev Community Sips on Haterade, Trashes Sony

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Hopping on the “I hate Sony” bandwagon this week, Valve’s head-honcho Gabe Newell went on a tirade against the PS3 in a GameInformer interview. And I quote:

“The PS3 is a total disaster on so many levels, I think It’s really clear that Sony lost track of what customers and what developers wanted… I’d say, even at this late date, they should just cancel it and do a ‘do over’. Just say, ‘This was a horrible disaster and we’re sorry and we’re going to stop selling this and stop trying to convince people to develop for it.'”

Whew, those are some harsh words, Newell. There is just no more Playstation love these days. And this hasn’t been the first time this has happened, either. Last week, id’s John Carmack told GameInformer that he has disliked Sony’s subpar dev tools since the PS2. →  Article Kombat

The Guitar Hero Wireless Controller

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A benevolent benefactor bequeathed to me a fantastic gift; the official Guitar Hero Wireless Controller. Now I come to report on it.

Its been a long time coming. There have been several unofficial wireless controllers on the market since the release of GH1, and people have found ways to modify their wired controllers, but it took until after the arrival of GH2 for Red Octane to launch their own wireless attempt. This is crucial because while third party wireless devices are still hit or miss with their responsiveness, official wireless stuff has proven to be quite reliable across all consoles. Second, most DDR players will tell you that Red Octane builds some quality stuff for the price, while their knockoffs usually suffer.
 

Both points prove to be true in the case of Guitar Hero controllers. →  Some say the world will end in fire, some say in read more