videolamer

20 Lame Years

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Like A Less Successful, Worse Insert Credit

videolamer is 20 years old. It has only been active for 8 of those years, but if productivity were the criteria for age I would be 11 and not 43. Celebrate with us by playing a round of Chu Chu Rocket and reading the garbage I wrote below.

Since our inception, we have received rave reviews from within and without the video game and industrial cleaning supply industries. Here are just some of the things people have been saying about videolamer:

“One of my top 100 favorite sites right now. [May, 2008]” – Max from gamelemon

“Where are the videos?” – my son

“I can’t read.” – my daughter

“Me pooped.” – a different my son

“The only meaningful thing I’ve ever done.” – me

“Not consistently funny enough to be a comedy website, not consistently serious enough to be a gaming website, not continually active enough to be a website.” – Tiger Beat

“Don’t give up.

 →  It’s dangerous to read alone, take this.

10 Steps to Making Money with a Gaming Blog

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People often ask me why I waste my vast cornucopia of knowledge of all things business on a minuscule website. I can afford to do this because I retired at the age of 14 after selling multiple blogs for millions of dollars a pop. This site provides a platform to share my expertise without the threat of anyone emailing for follow up information. Follow the 10 steps below (each as important as the last and therefore all assigned the number 1) and you, too, can retire at 14 by selling your weblog.

  1. Choose how much you want to make

The first step anyone reasonable takes before doing anything creative is to analyze the market and choose a segment that matches desired returns. How much would you like to make from blogging? Assuming you chose billions, we can then conclude you need to write about video games. There may be skeptics who are unaware games are a $280 billion a year industry and so I will spell it out in painful detail for these slower than average readers. →  Xenosaga 2: Jenseits von Gut und Pöst

Oh Joy, a new video game site

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This is a brand new style for a web site. We are totally extreme, to the maxx and in your face. And sarcastic, I bet you’ve never seen a website that uses sarcasm. Well this one does. Get over it.

My God, that man is sitting on an enormous gun!

Since there are about 600 trillion websites already dedicated to reviewing video games, we knew we had to come up with a good angle. First, we thought we’d go with the “we have no angle” angle. Seinfeld did it so why can’t we? Seinfeld also had extremely talented writers, we do not. So then we thought “if we are just true to ourselves and the games, our humanity will shine through.” But the idea that the writers on bigger, richer sites are writing something that’s false to themselves or creating a personality to sell the site is sort of offensive. Some of those guys probably suck, but most are no different than us (except they have real jobs), so the angle that we would be the only honest, tell it like it is (kind of like the Eminem of game reviews), from the heart journalists died a quiet death. →  Zero Escape: Nine Hours, Nine Authors, Nine Articles