Concerned Citizen

Grand Theft Auto 3 has come under a lot of heat because of the Hot Coffee mod, which allows the player to have polygonal sex with his video game girlfriend. GameStop, crusader for freedom Jack Thompson, and Hillary Clinton are among those who have lined up against Rock Star for making such an immoral product. Murdering prostitutes is questionable behavior, but having sexual intercourse is just ethically wrong so I, too, decided to share my discontent… but in the most positive way possible, by thanking those retailers who pulled the game from their shelf. Enjoy.

Wal-Mart team photo
What Would Wal-Mart Do?

Thank you for being a family friendly store. Capitalism will never work if we just allow people to buy whatever they want. We need more huge corporations to stand up to products Jesus wouldn’t like and say, “No. Our customers do not want this.” Freedom of choice is just a euphemism for evil and I applaud you in your efforts to cut down on evil. The terrorist attacks of September 11th, 2001 remind me of how precious our freedom is and that it cannot be squandered on things like allowing consumers to buy products that are legal, yet possibly offensive to anyone without cable.

While I am discouraged that your store still carries some corrupt products, in time I know that you will further thwart evil, leaving only the most God-aligned of options available to us. And what of the profits made on previously thought pure products that have revealed their true colors? It is surely a blessing that you have been able to reap the rewards of foul products, as it has strengthened your Bible driven company and you will pass on that strength to your patrons by denying them access to things most vile.

I also want to praise you for spreading your wisdom by moving into towns across our great country. Without your omnipotent presence, many smaller businesses would still be peddling their Satan-tainted rubbish. By limiting competition, your policies that limit our choice of product (i.e.: choice of evil) are doubly effective and doubly empowering to the moral fiber of our communities. I only wish more would understand that the freedoms this nation are founded on are to be praised and held sacred in speech always, but to actually allow our actions to be influenced by respect for these freedoms is the surest path to Hell.

God Bless,

 Dirty Deeds

Stores that dropped GTA San Andreas:
  Best Buy
  Game Stop

San Andreas sales:
Over 300 million dollars

Famous people involved:
Hillary Clinton
Jack Thompson
House of Representatives

Tax money spent:

Other things Thompson has fought:
2 Live Crew – As Nasty CD
Body Count – Cop Killer song
Howard Stern – Show content
Bill of Rights – First Amendment
Japan – Country

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