Articles

Will Blizzard get blown out the airlock?

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Everyone is quivering with anticipation at Blizzard’s upcoming “major” announcement. They have been hiring MMO developers, and they have a terribly neglected (but still hugely popular, especially in Asia) franchise in Starcraft.

Although an RTS Starcraft 2 might be desired by some, Blizzard has no choice in this matter but to go MMO. First, the revenue opportunities of even a mediocre (by Blizzard standards) MMO are far superior to a blockbuster RTS– a fact most likely first and foremost on Blizzard’s parent company, Vivendi’s, mind. Now that Blizzard has established itself as such a cash-cow, they will be held to those standards until they fail (capitalism is great…just ask the USSR). Just to give you a flavor of what we’re talking about, the WESTERN MMO market broke $1 billion in 2006, according to this report with WoW accounting for 54% of that marketshare.

Second, because of all this success, Blizzard already has the infrastructure and the core competency of running an MMO (call centers, billing systems, international infrastructure, etc), so to continue to support MMO creation. →  PaReader the Reader

Violent games may affect us but the Constitution protects us

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In the wake of the Virginia Tech shooting the media once again pounced on video games, an easy target and frequent scapegoat. As usual, gamers were not very thrilled. Many gaming sites wrote scathing condemnations of the obvious idiocy of Jack Thompson, Dr. Phil, and company. Joystiq, however, chose to do something positive.

The site posted a declaration titled “What I know about violent video games” that partially reads:

– I know the difference between right and wrong.
– I know the difference between fantasy and reality.
– I know where the game ends and real life begins.

The declaration has a spot for a signature and is meant to be given to loved ones who may be concerned about your gaming habits. It’s nice to see an attempt to counter the negative media attention given to games that doesn’t resort to calling Jack Thompson an ignorant fascist, which he is. But in the preamble to the declaration there is a problem. →  I’d buy that for a dollar.

There’s a bug in your review

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There’s a bit of a controversy about a certain Spiderman 3 review that may or may not have been based on demo impressions instead of the retail game. I don’t care much about uncovering the truth. Instead, I’d like to discuss a problem this fiasco brings up about our modern review system.

A lot of people commenting on this news piece claim that if the reviewer actually had retail copies, then they should have mentioned some of the crippling technical flaws that many sites seem to be mentioning. Having not played the game(s) myself, I can’t say just how bad these glitches are. Putting Spiderman aside, though, imagine if the review were for that game that had some definite glitches in it, but the reviewer never actually encountered them in their play through.

Now imagine that you and I did find them, and they caused us a hell of a lot of trouble. Chances are we’re both pretty pissed, and were we to review the game, it would definitely lose some kudos. →  You had me at read more.

Your favorite game looks like shit

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Something’s been on my mind recently and I can’t make sense of it. Not “why are we here?” or “what’s after this life?” Those are easy questions to answer. I’m talking about something deeper, something video game related.

I consider myself a hardcore gamer based on the amount of gray matter I’ve dedicated to storing information on video games (F, D, F, HP — YOUR HEAD IS MINE!) and for the fact they occupy my thoughts whenever possible. I’ve played hundreds of games on a dozen or so consoles, and here’s the important part, besides the joy of bragging — my favorite titles are spread throughout time and hardware.

I have favorites on the C64 (Archon 2), NES (Contra), Master System (Phantasy Star), Genesis (Shining Force), SNES (Secret of Mana), PS1 (Twisted Metal 2), N64 (Golden Eye), Saturn (Panzer Dragoon), Dreamcast (Bangai-O), PS2 (Guitar Hero), Xbox (Chronicles of Riddick), Gamecube (Eternal Darkness) and PC (Baldur’s Gate 2). As a hardcore gamer I’ve witnessed a revolution in graphics and sound but played enough titles to understand that my favorite games aren’t awesome because they’re pretty. →  U R Not lamE.

Retrospectives – Suikoden series, part 1

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Imagine, if you will, a role-playing game (of the Eastern variety) which creates a persistent fantasy world for an entire series. This world is so large that, even in the latest entry, there are still entire countries that have been mentioned, but that players have yet to explore. The plot of each game concerns revolutions and wars – the sort of things most RPGs leave to the background – and the player is the architect of these nation-spanning changes.

Suikoden, called “Genso Suikoden” or Fantasy Suikoden in Japan, is an RPG series on the PSX, Saturn and PS2 that has been around since 1996. The “Suikoden” in the name comes from the Japanese name for the Shui Hu Zhuan or (usually) Outlaws of the Marsh, one of the four Chinese Classics (alongside the better-known Three Kingdoms and The Journey West).

Outlaws of the Marsh takes place at the end of China’s Song dynasty. The plot concerns a group of 108 bandit generals (corresponding to 108 stars of heaven and earth) who band together to revolt against a corrupt government. →  Shadow of the Article

The Real Gaming Challenge ™

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You might be able to tell from a lot my recent articles, but I enjoy challenging myself when gaming. Over the years I’ve managed to become better at a lot of genres and titles that used to kick my ass, but one genre in its entirety has eluded me; racing games.

Yes, aside from perhaps Mario Kart, I am possibly the worst racing gamer you’d ever have the displeasure of competing against. I’m not sure what it is; am I handling corners wrong? Shifting improperly? Maybe I don’t understand the true performance of the car. All I know is that I can’t play these games for the life of me.

That is going to change now. I’ve decided to turn my past efforts up 200% and try my absolute hardest to conquer racing games. To do so, I took the crisp $20 I earned from selling textbooks and purchased the one racer with the most content and steepest learning curve; Gran Turismo 4. →  Do a barrel read!

Turning up the difficulty

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In my last column I talked about mindless games and whether such a concept actually makes sense. Today, we talk about something else that stems from this debate. Usually when I read a review of a “mindless” game that I myself have played, the first thing to come to me is not “they’re kind of right” or “they’re kind of wrong”. The question on my mind is “did they play it on hard?”

When I was a kid I didn’t play games on any sort of difficulty – few NES games actually had a difficulty setting; you played against whatever they threw at you. When difficulties did start popping up, it was always Easy mode for me. This was because I only got two, maybe three new games a year, so there was no concept of being stuck and putting it away. When I got my first job I simply wanted to get my hard earned money’s worth. I was a sucker for easy, and it never seemed like a problem. →  Read more, before it’s too late!

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 5.4.07

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Sony markets to teens
Sony decided this was a smart business move after analyzing the figures:
Selling games to 10 year olds = totally lame (Nintendo sux LOL)
Selling games to 14 year olds = awesome to the max (we rulz)

The All I want for Christmas is a PSP, Sony’s first attempt to market to teens, went over slightly better than September 11th. Most failed ads don’t bring in more customers, this failed ad led to current customers donating their PSPs to their walls at 15 MPH.

EA noticing Wii and DS appeal to kids, plans bad mini-game game to cash in
EA Playground appeals to “the kid in everyone.” How exactly did EA deduce this? There are the obvious things that appeal to kids but not adults, like finding the opposite sex disgusting and eating chalk. Then there are the childish things that appeal to some adults, like sliding down banisters, pouting when things don’t go your way, and calling someone a “crapface”. →  Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are, ‘Game Over.’

Console logos throughout the ages

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This year, 2007, marks the 30th anniversary of the Atari 2600 release, which is what many consider to be the very first commercial video game console. And since then, the gaming populace has been privy to 21 major home consoles. To celebrate this momentous year, I have painstakingly researched and categorized each of the 18 home consoles’ logos. Yes, I have nothing else better to do with my time. So, with that in mind, let’s take a quick stroll through history, shall we?

Atari 2600: Here we have the granddaddy of them all: the Atari 2600. I don’t really understand what this logo stands for, but it must mean something cool, as it can still be seen on t-shirts and stickers everywhere. If you’re trying to convey the fact that you’re a retro gamer, you probably have the Atari logo somewhere in your gaming bordello. Interesting bit of trivia: the logo was even featured in the cult classic, “Blade Runner.” After four major company restructuring periods, the main focus of the logo still stands strong today. →  All the lonely gamers, where do they all come from?

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 4.27.07

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Ken Kuraragi finally falls on his sword
I have called for Ken’s resignation many times, but like a president bombarded by calls to fire a cronie, end a war, step down, or learn to read Kutaragi has ignored me entirely. That is until yesterday. Ken has finally listened to my sharp criticism and based a life altering decision on it…or has he?

“And God said unto me, ‘Make thy console large, make it powerful, but above all else hold unto this truth: Make thy console expensive.'”

The Japanese, unlike Americans, have a thing they like to call sushi. This raw fish (California rolls don’t count, hippy) is symbolic of another concept we Americans lack – honor. For you see, in ancient Japan the sushi roller guy was thought to be the embodiment of the fisherman’s god, Zeus. Zeus had a mighty trident he used for fishing. He also had many children. The most important of these children was the original emperor of Japan, known as Honor Mitsubishi. →  Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this post!