Nintendo

All you ever need to know about Japan

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After spending 10 nights in Japan I am now qualified to make sweeping statements about the Japanese culture. The following are immutable truths (told in a convenient pros and cons style) about this wonderful and bizarre country:

Pro
Suntory Boss is the boss of them all since 1992.

There’s no use denying it.

Con
Japanese people seem as pro-Japan as Americans are pro-America. I was asked by one of my gracious host’s fathers why we came to Japan. He was an awesome guy but really pushed hard for an answer he found satisfactory. I think the question was probably just mistranslated and he actually asked, “How awesome is Japan?” The same day, a man on the street approached us and told us in English that “Japan is number 1.” With proof like that who was I to argue. Instead, we replied with, “Nippon ichi!” and he was gleeful and satisfied.

Pro
Engrish is awesome and plentiful. Some of my favorites taken from a photobooth – “Have fun it!”, →  Rayman Reading Rabbids

Mario Galaxy Non-Review

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Not long into Super Mario Galaxy, the player will become quite accustomed to, maybe even fond of, seeing Mario enter each level with his arms spread as he flies around and lands on a safe spot, shouting “yes!” on his success. About 20 stars in, it dawned on me; the next time I entered a level, I really wanted to see Mario scream “yes!” as he performed a greased landing, hitting the ground running at top speed, not stopping until he got to the end (or came up to some tricky group of hazards).

This might sound like I am really looking for Sonic the Hedgehog Galaxy, and I suppose that is the point. Back in the day, it was always Sonic who was considered cool and edgy, while Mario was the gentle goofball. And yet, while Sonic games were not terribly easy, those Power Rings meant that even a rookie player could make it to the halfway point after the first night playing a Sonic game. →  Start your journey now, my Lord.

A Christmas Story

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Gather around children and let me tell you a story of a Christmas long since passed. The year was 1991 and I was eleven years old. It was that magical white time of year when all a kid my age could think of was snowball fights, playing video games, and Christmas morning. You see children, 1991 was not just any other goofy year. Oh no, 1991 was the year the Super Nintendo came out and I was sure that come December 25th, my chubby butt would be glued to a television playing that sleek, grey piece of gaming heaven.

crying.jpgI’m sorry kid, Nintendo is hoarding all of the Wii’s this year. How about a Playstation 3 instead?

 

As the countdown to Christmas began, the yearly rituals were gone though. Santa’s lap had been sat upon, letters had been mailed, and the right people had been told of my Yuletide desires. No, I did not believe in Santa but I believed in the wrath of my parents who said that if I spoiled Christmas for my little brother, the SNES was going to be but a figment of my misguided imagination. →  All the lonely gamers, where do they all belong?

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 12.21.07

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PSP sales explode in Japan
Sony’s handheld has been selling very well lately, this last boost thanks to a new red model. If Sony simply releases a new model and/or colored PSP every other month they may be able to seriously compete with Nintendo. At least on the hardware front.

Games simply don’t appear to sell on the PSP. The leading theories as to why this is are:
If you cut yourself while playing you won’t even notice.

1. The PSP is a successful multimedia machine. A significant percentage of purchasers are using it to listen to music and watch movies. Reports of people not particularly interested in games buying the system are common, and even dedicated gamers (see Christian of this website) are very interested in all the multimedia aspects of the PSP. The argument against this position is that everyone on earth owns at least four iPods and that UMD movies suck (and will continue to do so until the hilarious yet poignant “I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry” comes out in the format). →  [send private information]

PSP Firmware – doin’ it right ways?

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When I got my PSP, the prevoius owner had it at Firmware 3.5, AKA the Magic Number. If I recall correctly, that was the latest firmware to have a simple .exe downgrader for those interested in homebrew. This is why fate coxed me into immediately upgrading the system before learning this fact, thus sticking me with firmware 3.71, AKA you need Pandora’s Battery. I vowed to leave the firmware alone at this point, hoping that in a year or so someone would finally get around to hacking the newer firmwares.

Then Sony came out with Firmware 3.8 this week, and I immediately broke my promise. This update actually has some new features, and I am hear to report as best I can.

The main draw is a new feature for Internet Radio. This is a pretty great idea; as more and more music players feature radio support, this allows the PSP to stay a little more relevant as a music device (though it still can’t beat a dedicated player until it boasts playlist support). →  Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty article.

Sony CEO – PS3 better than Wii

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Howard Stringer is the CEO of Sony. He makes over 650k a year (very likely million/s). And he is terrible at PR.

“I’m happy the Wii seems to be running a bit short of hardware. The PlayStation 3 will come into its own because its are infinitely more fun, demanding and exciting.”

He is glad the Wii is selling out because consumers may now buy a PS3 out of frustration. He’s pleased that Nintendo’s giant safe can barely fit any more money in it because that may mean a few dollars drift down the street to Sony. He enjoys that Iwata’s back is sore from carrying bars of solid gold to the bank, and Miyamoto’s neck aches after craning to see the top of his new mansion.

But then he must also hold the public in contempt for not recognizing his product’s blatant superiority. Mozart would be outraged if the Prince of Salzburg replaced him with William Hung. If Stringer believes his games are infinitely more fun than Wii games then he must be doing some very serious personal reflection. →  The happiest post on Earth.

Virtual Console rip offs – Stop selling us the same game

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Ghouls ‘n Ghosts and Super Ghouls ‘n Ghosts are pretty similar games. Most people would probably think they’re interchangeable, but they have enough different content to both warrant a purchase for fans of the series. Nintendo was straddling the line between offering consumers more choices and ripping us off when they offered Street Fighter 2 closely followed by Street Fighter 2 Turbo. They aren’t exactly the same game but who on earth would want the original SF2 instead of one of the superior variants? It seems like a clear move to cash in on people’s urge to buy the original then realize they made a mistake and buy Turbo.

It gets worse. Dynastic Hero is Wonderboy in Monster World. Kirby’s Avalanche is Dr. Robotnics Mean Bean Machine (which is Puyo Puyo). Yet all four of these games are available on the Virtual Console. Each pair has some pallet swaps but are fundamentally the same. Street Fighter is a huge series and fans know all the ins and outs. →  Rule of Read

Numbers are fun – November ‘Nihilation

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There has been a lot of good sales news for the industry over the past month. Enough numbers have been released that PR people from all three console manufacturers are able to claim some victory. We have all grown accustomed to hearing that Nintendo’s grandparent-friendly hardware is setting the world ablaze, but recent information has shown that its competitors may be gearing up to offer a viable challenge. The biggest headline probably has to be the fact that Nintendo DS sales set the record for most systems ever purchased in a single week with 653,000. This, combined with 350,000 Wiis sold during the same period adds up to…a lot of stuff sold by Nintendo during Thanksgiving week. The Wii is still supply constrained so it’s tough to say how many units Nintendo could be moving, but the Wii reached five million units in the US sold faster than any other system in history, doing so in a mere 12 months.
This game sold almost 600k in one week.
 →  Sid Meier’s Alpha Centarticle

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 11.30.07

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Gamespot editor allegedly fired for giving a bad review
Jeff Gerstmann was supposedly let go because he gave Kane and Lynch a mediocre review (recent updates indicate the firing was a culmination of multiple reviews that angered sponsors). The story goes, Eidos was paying CNET a ton of cash to promote the title and threatened to pull future ads because of the review. It’s true that when this story broke yesterday, the Gamespot site was covered head to toe in stupid K&L ads. The people who say the firing happened because of the review range from Penny Arcade (who confirm the comic isn’t simply a joke in their forum), to a freelance Gamespot writer (who gave Shenmue a bad review…breath in…), to mods in the Gamespot forum who said things like – if we tell you what happened we will be fired, and don’t blame us, it’s all CNETs fault.

First of all, many people use this news to confirm “conspiracy theories.” →  Lose belly fat now!

It’s the end of Civilization as we know it, and I feel fine (I think)

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There has been a recent hullabaloo about the pending Civilization Revolutions game. Having realized that the hardcore 4X PC gamer market is not as lucrative as say, every other platform, Firaxis has set about developing a new “made for console” version of Civilization.

Because a move like this smacks of “selling out” and “destroying the game concept,” and it coincides with what can only be described as criminal negligence of the Beyond the Sword expansion, the community has been at best, suspicious, and at worst, behaving like forum trolls at a n00b feeding frenzy. And they have every right to have this attitude.

For starters, Firaxis is cultivating as much ill will as humanly possible with the Beyond the Sword expansion. The launch version (like all PC games these days) was bug ridden, requiring a patch. A second patch was forced upon gamers by developer constraints, and broke a variety of things. User-developed patches saved the single player game for a time, but a long awaited “official” patch was riddled with bugs that literally 20 minutes of QA could reveal. →  All your posts are belong to us.