What happens when you mix idiots and review scores? Gamenumbers.com

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While trying to get paid (and at the very same time, laid), my buddy and I got into a conversation about whether or not review scores are of any worth. It basically started when my “friend” asked me if I would still get Assassin’s Creed if it got an average score of 7.0. Of course, my answer was short and sweet:

“Fuck yeah.”

Numbers mean nothing to me, especially when it’s based on the 100-point scale that the majority of gaming publications tend to use. My sole reasoning for taking this stance on the issue is because most gamers will gloss over anything that’s rated 8 or below. It’s disheartening as a game designer to see games like Pac-Pix and Drawn to Life passed over all because they weren’t the greatest games ever made. →  The King of Articles 2002: Unlimited Match

Mario doesn’t matter

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I’ve been avoiding screens and videos of Mario Galaxy because I want to experience it all for the first time when I am actually playing, not drunkenly browsing the web. Still, I can’t help but read as much as possible about the game and cross my fingers I don’t see too many spoilers (though I did see a huge one – whoever it was who first mentioned that thing with the guy and the thing, you know what I’m talking about, please leave the internet).

Many conversations on the game and Nintendo design in general have gravitated towards arguments over the foolishness of bleeding an IP dry. Hold on, let me get into my Nintendo Defense Force Costume…

Miyamoto has said time and again that he only creates new characters when old ones would not fit with his new gameplay ideas. →  Rule of Read

Diary of a Guitar Hero Loser

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Guitar Loser

Recently I wrote of my relative experience in the area of playing the video games and how it related to my ability to enjoy Halo 3. My cocksure countenance and, frankly, fairly insulting prose garnered a respectable number of responses whose general flavor I would describe as mired in absolute and laser-focused ire. Ire mired, as it were.

It is now weeks later and I own Guitar hero 3. I purchased the Wii version because I thought that plugging my Wii-mote into the Les Paul would somehow be more awesome than gaining achievements or playing friends online with less than thirty layers of fucking moon cryptography between myself and those people Nintendo just assumes are trolling the Wii-nternets looking for kids to say nasty things to. It is unfortunate that I must report to you that there is absolutely no reason to go this route. →  Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing memory cards.

The State of Japanese Gaming Plus A Couple of Signs That the End Times Are Upon Us

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As I type this, I am covetously inspecting my growing stockpile of canned goods and rice. Earlier I cleaned and loaded my Colt .45 Airsoft pistol with silencer and under barrel flashlight (think Metal Gear Solid 3). Within the next couple of hours I will be ready for what I am guessing is either going to be the zombocalypse, the Second Coming, WWIII, or possibly the release of a Vanilla Ice Greatest Hits album. One way or the other something bad is going to happen and I am going to be ready.

The Japanese are doing curious things that have tipped me off to our fast approaching doom, let me explain.

First, as I was browsing through the video game section of one of my local electronics stores I spotted a Japanese man loading up his shopping cart with: A) Halo 1,2, and 3 B) An Xbox Live membership card and C) one or two other 360 games that I couldn’t make out. →  [send private information]

Achieve Nothing

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I try not to make VL blog posts sound like a broken record, but blogs are for random thoughts and insights. Playing more Guitar Hero has given me a few more.

I’ve commented in the past about how the achievement system on the 360 is a little goofy, yet we still clamor for them. I know I do, despite my best efforts. Its one thing when two games have vastly different ideas of what an achievement should constitute, but it is even more interesting to see what two sequels have to say on the matter.

Both GH2 and 3 have mostly the same kinds of achievements – beat the game on all the different difficulties, five star all the songs, earn big note streaks, buy stuff from the store, etc. Here are the pages for my achievements in both games (they’re nothing to brag about, they’re just there for you to examine the awards). →  Start your journey now, my Lord.

Other sites’ minor offenses

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In my never ending mission to find things to complain about, I frequently stumble upon poorly phrased passages in competitors articles (by competitors I mean real web sites). Here are two stupid things I found recently:

Joystiq calls Alien Soldier “filler.”
Or maybe it’s a highly respected game from a hugely talented developer that never made it to American shores.

In the wake of the release of Super Mario 3, many have overlooked Treasure’s cult classic Alien Soldier. This has happened before – Super Metroid overshadowed Shinobi 3, despite both being awesome. The strength of the Virtual Console lies in its ability to offer us access to excellent games we missed, or hard to find classics. While it’s true that the first thing I did when I got home yesterday was download Mario 3, it and games like it that have been released 17 separate times aren’t what makes the VC so sweet. →  Fire Post Wrestling Returns

Review – Half-Life Episode 2

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Half Life 2 Episode 1 was much like the Opposing Force expansion to the original Half Life. Both games were largely similar, but each offered a distinct twist that helped it along. In Opposing Force, it was the concept of playing as a soldier hunting down Gordon Freeman, and the benefits of having a troop of specialized AI soldiers to help you along the way.

In Episode 1, it was the impressive AI of Alyx Vance, which helped you bond with her character as well as giving Valve a chance to create some interesting scenarios for her and Gordon to tackle. Both games also benefited from their incredible set pieces that improved upon most of the things we experienced in the original games. It says a lot when your two expansion packs contain some of the best single player content of the year. →  Just read it.

Sunshine, lollipops and – Rock Band?

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I’m not sure what to name the Guitar Hero/Rock Band fan community, as they are far from the only rhythm games in the world, and “western rhythm games” sounds retarded. Let’s just say that in this not-yet-named community, the majority of fans realize and accept that both Guitar Hero 3 and Rock Band have strengths and weaknesses. Some players may prefer one over the other, but they also have enough reason to give them both a try, and maybe even a purchase.

Still, while the mass market seems to stand by Guitar Hero and its now titanium strong name brand, there is a contingent of folks who have sworn an oath to Harmonix and Rock Band, citing that a game with more instruments just has to be better (amirite?).

No.

As anyone who has played Guitar Hero knows, whoever doesn’t get to play lead guitar in co-op is often screwed over with a really mundane bassline. →  Castle Readigami 2

Review – Guitar Hero 3

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Guitar Hero 3 does a lot to make me question game reviews. Or should I say, it brings to light many of their problems.

As I expected, it loses out with much of the standard, value driven review sites. While it stays afloat in many reviewer’s minds by adding online multiplayer and more tracks, it has also been grilled for things such as lack of create a character (a criticism I actually agree with, if for no other reason than developer Neversoft has been doing this since 2000) or online co-op play. Once a good game becomes a franchise, the stakes become continuously higher, and nothing short of a disc filled to the brim with their checklist of standard game features will make a reviewer happy. It also makes me question how every tacky addition to each year’s Madden avoids getting clobbered the same way. →  Mrs. Article, you’re trying to seduce me.

Deadly fists of deadly fury – melee imbalances in FPS

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Because I desperately crave acceptance and attention from the “cool kids,” I’ve recently found myself playing immense amounts of Halo 3 with my roommate and various Xbox Live people.

A quick aside about my gaming habits (which you don’t care about but are vital to this post). I have never been a console FPS gamer. I’ve always been a PC gamer. UT2k and UT2003 were my bread and butter – annihilate people with a twitch of a mouse and a blast of the flak cannon. From there I moved on to Call of Duty, which was “slower” because of the WW2 genre, but still immensely fun.

Controllers for FPS have always been my kryptonite. As a result, I sort of fell off the FPS gaming bandwagon. I did recently get into Gears of War for a bit, but it wasn’t nearly as entertaining as Halo 3 has been. →  It was the best of games, it was the worst of games