From everything I have read online, it seems that gamers everywhere are split into two camps when it comes to Assassin’s Creed: those who love the game and those who find it painfully repetitious. After beating the game over the course of four days, I found myself graduating from one group to the other. For the first third of the game I was frustrated, annoyed, angry, and bored. (Incidentally, three is an important number in the structure of Assassin’s Creed. There are three cities in the game, each with three sections and three assassination targets – one per section. In order to complete an assassination the player needs to collect three out of six available pieces of information about the target. → Xenosaga 2: Jenseits von Gut und Pöst
Sony CEO – PS3 better than Wii
Howard Stringer is the CEO of Sony. He makes over 650k a year (very likely million/s). And he is terrible at PR.
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“I’m happy the Wii seems to be running a bit short of hardware. The PlayStation 3 will come into its own because its are infinitely more fun, demanding and exciting.”
He is glad the Wii is selling out because consumers may now buy a PS3 out of frustration. He’s pleased that Nintendo’s giant safe can barely fit any more money in it because that may mean a few dollars drift down the street to Sony. He enjoys that Iwata’s back is sore from carrying bars of solid gold to the bank, and Miyamoto’s neck aches after craning to see the top of his new mansion. → Virtua Poster 4: Evolution
Retrospectives – Metal Gear Solid series part 3
Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty
Metal Gear Solid 2 is impossible to discuss nowadays without at least establishing what the game is “about”; the message that Kojima intended for the player. First, we need to understand that Raiden, everything about the character and his experience, represents the player (more specifically, the modern Japanese gamer/otaku, but it works well enough for Westerners). Second, the game’s surreal nature, crazy AI and double crosses are all commentary on the Information Age, which has made information not only more widespread, but has changed how one can wield it. The final message from Snake (the hero we aspire to, but cannot control for long) is clear; just believe in something, and pass your beliefs and your genes on to the future. → One must imagine video games happy.
Why is my UT so pretty?

I’ve got UT3. I’ve played the shit out of it. Surprised, right? I know, me too.
I’m not allowed to write a review on the thing because my editor isn’t very comfortable with sixty pages of what would likely be strikingly pornographic adulation being posted as a legitimate review. I don’t know that I could do anything like an objective review, though, so I guess he has a point. I am not kidding you when I say that I want to have sex with this game. No dinner, no movie, not even a few choice words about its pretty hoop earrings and swanky nightgown; my junk wants to be in this game’s trunk. Plain. Simple. END OF LINE.
This is the point where the adroit few of you take a small break while the remaining headshot fodder comes up with any way they can to make the above sound like I want to press up against dudes. → I got served!
Others help SNK shoot itself in the foot
If you are a modern day SNK fan like me, you know the company has done absolutely squat to promote its games. The only one of recent memory to get a serious push was the original Maximum Impact, which featured a collectors edition, classy packaging, and ads during sporting events. Everything else, including MI’s far superior sequel, has had anywhere near the publicity. Every game has been a near silent release, to the point where people aren’t even sure of a solid release date. I have heard the faintest of buzz about Neo Geo Battle Colliseum, but this is completely the doing of fans and curious people who have been wondering why it has taken years for a port of it to show up. → Words are the towns and cities of letters.
Shameless Propoganda (and some insight)
This blog post is a bit off topic, but indulge me. I have the pleasure of being loosely associated with an upcoming independent film called “Look,” which is opening on Friday in a few cities (NYC and LA). The premise of Look is that there are 30 million surveillance cameras in America, which capture the average American 200 times a day. The movie is a fiction that covers several intertwining plotlines, with each scene shot from a hypothetical security camera: elevator cameras, convenience store cameras, even bathroom and changing room cameras.
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What does this have to do with gaming? You’ll recall about a year ago there was a great deal of outcry when the Left Behind game praised Jesus too much. → Readalations: Persona
Review – Transformers the Game
Before you get all doe-y eyed for the great video games that have come out in the past two months, and start swallowing the industry’s mandate that we can only have decent games around the pinnacle event of a religion that totally hates video games, lets take a minute and remember how fucking terrible the rest of 2007 was for video games. Starting with Transformers the Game.
Transformers the Movie was the cinematic equivalent of going to a space zoo and jumping into a pit of laser equipped alligators and beating them down with your cock. While on fire. While the Teen Girl Squad cheers you on. Transformers the Game is the video game equivalent of falling into the same crocodilian awesomeness, only to find your cock quickly chomped off. → Fire Post Wrestling Returns
Review – Rock Band
I spent the week of Thanksgiving on vacation, so I missed the debut of Rock Band. Thanks to .33 cents a minute shipboard internet, I was able to read Tony’s gleeful post about the scarcity of units available. Although I had reserved the game at Gamestop, bane of all video game stores, panic set in. Contacting my roommate, I asked him to see if he could procure my reserved copy from Gamestop, either through the kindness of the Gamestop employees (yeah right), or more likely, impersonating me.
Surprisingly, not only did my local Gamestop have enough copies, they also allowed my roommate to buy on my behalf (shout out to Sasha, the store manager of the White Flint Gamestop, for being 100x cooler than every other Gamestop manager. → I only ask one thing. Don’t read in my way.
Rock Band – The rant
Ever since it was released, some folks have had it in their minds that Rock Band would destroy Guitar Hero. Their logic ranged from “It isn’t being made with greedy Activision at the helm” to “four instruments are better than two, amirite?” These wonderfully spun arguments failed to recognize important things, such as the fact that Rock Band was being published by greedy EA and that Harmonix is owned by greedy MTV. Nevermind the fact that the game would be a massive undertaking and was completed in less than a year. These warnings were not heeded by many. Caution was thrown to the wind. It was Rock Band or bust.
Congratulations; you just paid to beta test an unfinished and rushed game. → Your right post comes off?
DS games on the go!
So you have a DS but you don’t have the time to sink into long playing sessions. Or in my case, you have the attention span of a seven year old on crack. The whole concept of the aging process bringing patience is a lie and I’m living proof. When I was ten I could sit for hours and rock Final Fantasy 2 on the SNES, now I can barely sit through a thirty minute session of Phantom Hourglass. I think I am turning into more of a casual gamer and I know for sure that my mind is usually elsewhere when I flip the switch on my black-as-my-soul DS.
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This does not mean that I don’t enjoy games anymore; I just don’t get overly involved in most of the games I play. → Lose belly fat now!


