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Retail Woes

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In this post, I must air some grievances I have with certain retail companies. Someone call me a waaaaambulance, because I might need it.

– Why does Blockbuster suck so much when it comes to game rentals? Every store I’ve encountered always seems to be cleaned out of its new, and even 2-3 month old releases. It took me a good month or more to find God of War 2, and at a trip to my brother’s home, we couldn’t find any Wii games aside from the absolute dregs of the licensed pit. We couldn’t even try Chicken Little out if we wanted to.

The reason I find their game shortages so odd is that I can always find the same games without trouble at Hollywood Video, and for a few dollars cheaper on the rental. →  Read the rest

Pollen Sonata

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Pollen Sonata is an indie game project that one day hopes to get released on the Wii. For now, they simply have a gameplay trailer, background info and a tech demo (Half Life 2 and Steam required).

According to the website, the goal of Pollen Sonata is to “create a game that gives the player a unique experience that feels like a fresh breath of air from current games in the market. We are striving for innovation in gameplay and story. The feeling and mood of the game is [sic] poetic and serene, unfolding like a beautiful piece of music.” This seems to be the case when watching the trailer, which shows a charming background story, calming music and colorful visuals.

Problems arrive however when playing the tech demo. While the graphics would surely be polished for a retail release, the gameplay itself is like the jetpack level of Pilotwings. →  Read the rest

Beyond the news – Civ 4 expansion musings

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It’s not news at this point, but Civilization, Beyond the Sword has been announced and is due to hit shelves in July. And goddamn does this expansion look good.

It seems that despite a short development timeline, Firaxis is adding substantially more content than came with Civilization: Warlords. Warlords was a great expansion, don’t get me wrong, but it seemed that they were more focused on the minimal amount new content possible (yet every upgrade was so good you couldn’t not buy the game).

Beyond the Sword is going to add new buildings, new civilizations, new wonders, new units, new technologies, and even a whole new espionage system. Not a bad haul by any stretch. The new espionage system will allow spying to become a civilization wide effort, so expect new levels of cruelty in multiplayer games. →  Read the rest

Twinkle Star Sprites

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A random Gametap update hit this Tuesday. I hit the list to see what they could have possibly put out on a non-update day.

What’s this? Twinkle Star Sprites? Twinkle Star Sprites?

Twinkle Star Sprites? Hooray!!

Wait a minute, why is it that I’m so excited about Twinkle Star Sprites? I have absolutely no clue. I’m pretty sure I’ve heard it being mentioned a million times on various game sites and forums whenever the Neo Geo comes up. Somehow the name became ingrained in my mind, as if it was done by a secret government project and I’m the next Manchurian Candidate. I’m afraid if I don’t play it (or maybe if I do play it), I’m going to start sleepwalking and find myself as a presidential candidate in four months. →  Read the rest

What’s in a name?

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Fallout 3 is coming! Fallout 3 is coming! Oh, wait, no it’s not. A game called Fallout 3 is coming, but Fallout 3 will never be.

The video game industry, like the movie and television industry, trades names and ideas in a way that makes me scratch my head. And as if there were some magical power in the name of a game or movie, fans obediently froth at the mouth when offered the opportunity to enjoy more of the same name. But games aren’t names, they’re artistic products crafted by specific people.

Fallout 3 is just a name, and Bethesda cannot make an actual Fallout 3 by owning the letters F, A, L, O, U, and T arranged in a specific combination. Games are designers, artists, and coders and if those people change, the series changes. →  Read the rest

Can’t Escape the Escapism Part 1

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There’s something about GTA. After playing it for hours, I found myself walking the streets of Manhattan and contemplating a car-jacking. Don’t tell Jack Thompson, but I know I’m not the only one. My pal and I spent hours taking turns giving the Liberty City Police the run-around. When we returned to the real world and spotted an expensive car, we only had to look at each other to know we were thinking the same thing.

GTA isn’t the only series with this effect on my mind. I’ve walked around malls with Tony Hawk whispering in my ear, “You could use that as a ramp and then grind the fountain. Look over there! I bet you could jump that.”

Sometimes the most mentally invasive games are nothing like the real world, just mere abstractions. →  Read the rest

Is your ego satisfied?

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I played DDR this weekend. My first DDR’ing in almost two years. My brother wanted to see me “in action”, the way I was in a darker part of my life, and I had to oblige.

The version was Supernova. New to me, but it all worked the same. Same Playstation-esque graphics. Same annoying announcer. Same high quality pad that still feels kind of innacurate at times.

And an absolute truckload of songs. A few I’ve seen before, many I haven’t. With just three songs at my disposal and an embarrassingly quiet arcade around me, I couldn’t cycle through them all. I don’t think I would have if I had the chance. It is one thing to have a lot of content. It is another to have content you may never actually get around to enjoying. →  Read the rest

Bullshit, eat fresh!

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Has anyone else seen the recent Subway commercial that has a fat kid playing a Pacman clone? The game seems to consist of controlling a fat kid (not to be confused with the fat kid who is actually playing the game) and eating donuts and cake. For the sake of your time, I’ll ignore the shoddy game design and collision detection.

It’s harder to ignore the gist of the commercial, though. “What kind of eating habits are you kids learning?” it asks. America is the fattest country in the world. If little porkers are learning how to have multiple heart attacks, I guarantee it’s not video games that are teaching them. Why doesn’t Subway make an honest commercial that shows Fat Junior’s hippopotamus parents scarfing down fried hot dogs?

Because then fat people everywhere would be offended, despite the frequent truth that lard ass parents make pudgy kids. →  Read the rest

How the UMD could have won

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Last week Gamestop had a Memorial Day weekend sale where they sold all their UMD movies for the awesome price of $4.99. And seeing as how I actually own a PSP, I jumped on that one like….well, something that jumps really fast.

For only $50, I got 10, count ’em 10, UMD movies, and all of them are actually worthing of being watched. I’m talking Snatch, The Fifth Element, and one of my all-time personal favorites, Ghostbusters. Now my train rides won’t consist of me reading a book. Phht, like books are ever gonna catch on…

So after having a full week of watching movies on my PSP, I have to say that it’s actually pretty damn cool. The quality of the video, as well as being formatted in a widescreen ratio, makes watching movies on my handheld a very enjoyable experience. →  Read the rest

Saturn is the sixth planet :)

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Let’s do some Saturn speculation. The original Panzer Dragoon was just released on Gametap this week. After months of waiting to get my hands on this classic, I fired the baby up, only to watch as it ran at a cripplingly slow, unplayable framerate. Now my machine isn’t the beefiest thing on the block, but it can still run a good deal of modern games at above minimum specs. If it can do Half Life 2 at 1024, why the hell not Panzer Dragoon?

The basic answer is simple; the game’s recommended specs ask for 512 megs of RAM, 128 meg card, and a CPU better than 2.0 Ghz (My machine fulfills two of those three criteria). But why such ridiculous specs for such an old game? It was the first of many clues, and after putting the pieces together, I can safely say that Gametap is in fact emulating the Sega Saturn. →  Read the rest

The Wii Has Won!!!! Wait, What?

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Fortune has apparently deemed the Wii as the winner of the next-gen video game console race, featuring the Wiinner’s Circle on their cover, along with a fairly lengthy article talking about everything Nintendo has done right with its system.

It’s a fascinating read [via CNN], but one thing struck me as odd though, and it was a quote from Jack Tretton:

“But if you look at the industry, any industry, it doesn’t typically go backwards technologically. The controller is innovative, but the Wii is basically a repurposed GameCube. If you’ve built your console on an innovative controller, you have to ask yourself, Is that long term?”

He does have a point, but let me ask you this: how old is this industry? It’s really only as old as the NES (Atari nearly killed it, so I’m not going to include it), and that’s about 22 years old. →  Read the rest

It’s only fun if I pay for it

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This holiday I spent some time with my old friend Commodore. Not the patriarch himself, but the sixty third child to bear his name. We did some catching up and despite looking like hell, Commodore is still a lot of fun. But then theres a problem with emulating your friends; they feel cheap.

When I was younger I had to spend my parents hard earned money to buy every single game I owned. Now with the advent of emulation, I download dozens of designers entire careers in a matter of hours. McGruff may be upset that I have turned to a life of crime, but there is a deeper issue than ethics at work here.

I can’t convince myself to spend a significant amount of time with any one emulated game. →  Read the rest

namageM: AB

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AB2

Christian’s extremely informative review of the Metal Slug Anthology reminds us that sometimes anthologies can wrap in their splendor those thorns that might serve to sully and distort our otherwise wonderful memories of a franchise.

Though Metal Slug Anthology’s load issues, weird menus and interesting controller choices may serve to take the edge off of an otherwise perfect arcade port, there are some cases, indeed some entire franchises, where these issues are not merely — as those that would use the word ‘niggle’ might say — a niggle.

I purchased the Mega Man (Megaman, Rockman, Blue Bomber, etc) 20yr Anniversary Collection for the GC with, literally, a big toothy grin. I have tiny little teeth, and this sort of thing is hard for me — but I did it. Though I had obliterated each and every one of these games on each and every (three, actually) platform, I was absolutely ready to take them all, 1-8, out behind the work shed and show them what’s for. →  Read the rest

Worm$

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Worm$

I know the argument about microtransactions has been done to death. As such, let me get my view out of the way before delving into a subject that I think has been avoided publicly for too long.

I like microtransactions and think that the idea has merit. I like buying VC games for a few bucks. I have a job and can afford to buy my TG-16 collection over again for pennies on the dollar. I know this isn’t the case for everyone; I am not writing from everyone’s point of view.

I like buying add-ons. I like Live Arcade and I like picking up schwag/gear/icons/whatever for my games. I endorse monetary obfuscation by way of numeric transmogrification; I think it is a neat idea that my American dollar is actually equal to 80 crazy moon credits and I like spending those moon credits on pointless crap to enhance my gaming experience. →  Read the rest

C4T4N!!!1!1!11one

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C4T4N!

This is not a review. You’ve played Catan and you love it. If you haven’t, you will. If you don’t there is something broken with the gamer inside of you and it needs to be fixed. Let me suggest an age old cure: Play Catan.

I spent Memorial Day settling Catan. A great time, to be sure. Fun was had, Catan was settled, achievements unlocked and a whole lot of settlements were built. What was not fun, however, was finding out that Microsoft’s xBox Live skill based matchmaking service is actually a portal to a goddamned other dimension; one whose petulant inhabitants do things that resemble settling Catan but interpret any reciprocal action as some sort of lurid farce and act on what seems to be merely impulse when entering any sort of communicative contract. →  Read the rest

TV in and Out

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While waiting at home to hear back from employers, I’ve been spending time fiddling with the electronics in my room. I finally attempted to put the S-video out on my video card to use, and got my TV set hooked up to the PC. It has become something of a revolution for me, being able to play the multitude of arcade classics on Gametap on a big display with decent sound instead of from my computer stool. I’m trying out all sorts of games that I never gave a chance before now that I have an opportunity to play them from a more comfortable position. Perhaps I’ll utilize this to do more reviews of old school games!

More importantly, I’ve discovered that there is some use for this old TV after all. →  Read the rest

Weekend post 5.26.06

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Random thoughts to occupy you after Memorial Day weekend (none of you are reading this during the weekend, I can assure you).

– I’m finding it harder and harder to dispute that Street Fighter 3: Third Strike is not the greatest fighting game ever made. I’ll still give that to SF2 for now, but no matter how much I suck at Third Strike (and I do), I never load up the game without having fun, and I honestly feel like I play it smarter than most other fighters (prob. because it forces me too). I’m even starting to warm up to its poorer backgrounds. Who else wants to give this one some love?

– Jay has the staff working on a super secret project that, get this, no one is actually working on! →  Read the rest

Lucasarts alumni set to spray the Insecticide

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In a near-ZOMG moment, GameCock, the game-cocky indie publisher, has announced the new adventure game Insecticide for the PC and DS, which is being developed by the same people that brought you Grim Fandango, Curse of Monkey Island, Full Throttle, Day of the Tentacle, and Sam and Max Hit the Road. If that pedigree doesn’t get your panties all in a bunch, I don’t know what will.

Set in a future where insects have become the dominant race, “Insecticide’s gameplay puts players in the shoes of bug detectives charged with the task of investigating a mystery of epic proportions.” Color me ultra-tickled pink on that one.

I really am proud to see the once legendary gaming genre come back with such vigor these days. And I’m gonna have to say it’s all because of the DS. →  Read the rest

Geometry Wars to break your wii-mote and DS this Fall

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Bizarre Creations, in a bizarre move indeed, has announced their plans to bring the amazingly difficult old-school XBLA shooter Geometry Wart to Nintendo’s Wii and DS systems. Handling the conversion will be Kuju Entertainment, which you might remember as the developer for Nintendo’s Battalion Wars.
I HATE those little green bastards.

Titled Geometry Wars: Galaxies, it will now include a single-player campaign, as well as a new multiplayer mode (which includes both co-op and competitive modes) and the original version that’s currently available on Xbox 360. It will also include the requisite online leaderboards, although it’s unclear if both the Wii and DS will have them. Rounding out the new additions will be Wii-DS connectivity that unlocks new content. It is scheduled to come out this Fall for both systems.

If anyone has actually played Geometry Wars, then they can attest to how fucking hard the game is. →  Read the rest

Finally, a reason to move

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I’m accustomed to a game having to win me over. It should convince me it’s fun, and if I see a way to cut a corner here or there, by all means I’ll take it. Sure I’m supposed to talk to those town folk to further immerse myself in this RPG, or I’m supposed to call out that word in this party game, but if I don’t explicitly have to, then I just won’t do it. If the designers were good enough, they’d force me to have fun.

This is at least how I felt before owning a Wii. I have become acutely aware of how my willingness to stand up and have fun affects how enjoyable many Wii titles are. Last year, I’d have refused to participate the way a game wanted me to. →  Read the rest