Editorials

Here is where we weigh in on all of the important issues that effect today’s world. There are so many things to complain about: developers, publishers, retailers, other gamers, the market as a whole, gaming technology, gaming related technology, gaming politics, gaming court cases, Japan, trends, current events, past events, future events and bioterrorism. We won’t silence an opinion just because it’s “unpopular” or “poorly reasoned,” so you can be sure we will always present at least one side of an issue. Think of us as the Fox News of gaming.

MMOs: Grinding away my patience

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Lately, I have been playing Eve Online. For those of you who don’t follow my every move on this website (and for those two of you who do, you’re awesome!), Eve Online is a space based MMO. Unlike other games, the skill training system is based on real-time training, which continues when off-line. Therefore actions in the game: killing spaceships, trading, etc, do not yield experience. So while I have been only tepidly interested in the game, and not playing, my character has been training, basically at the same rate as an active player.

As a result of having a nearly six month old character, I can fly all sorts of awesome ships, which makes the game fun. However, because I haven’t been playing–just training, I have no money–money is only earned from those activities in the game itself. Being a huge hypocrite, I went and bought some in-game money to afford the awesome ship of my choosing and the sweet equipment to pimp my space-ride. →  Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Bore me and I sleep.

Stop making it so hard to say I love you: A list of gamer’s demands

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Look, we know each other pretty well and I think it’s time I talk to you about some of your bad habits. In the course of many years of gaming, I’ve found myself infuriated (in-fucking-furiated!) by problems that should have disappeared long ago. I think if you take an honsest look at yourself, you’ll see that you do these things just to get on my last nerve. Let’s resolve you’ll fix them once and for all.

Let me pause. Every game, any time. Sometimes I need space. I don’t care if I’m in the final boss fight. I might have to pee. Let me pause during all cutscenes. Yes, it’s engrossing to hear some big-eyed character finally confess his love to another big-eyed character or watch my current action hero do some bad-ass moves that I can’t actually do in the game, but I might still want to pause. My phone might ring. I might like to pause just long enough to tell the person on the other end to leave me the hell alone. →  Postlanser: Heritage of Read

Will Blizzard get blown out the airlock?

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Everyone is quivering with anticipation at Blizzard’s upcoming “major” announcement. They have been hiring MMO developers, and they have a terribly neglected (but still hugely popular, especially in Asia) franchise in Starcraft.

Although an RTS Starcraft 2 might be desired by some, Blizzard has no choice in this matter but to go MMO. First, the revenue opportunities of even a mediocre (by Blizzard standards) MMO are far superior to a blockbuster RTS– a fact most likely first and foremost on Blizzard’s parent company, Vivendi’s, mind. Now that Blizzard has established itself as such a cash-cow, they will be held to those standards until they fail (capitalism is great…just ask the USSR). Just to give you a flavor of what we’re talking about, the WESTERN MMO market broke $1 billion in 2006, according to this report with WoW accounting for 54% of that marketshare.

Second, because of all this success, Blizzard already has the infrastructure and the core competency of running an MMO (call centers, billing systems, international infrastructure, etc), so to continue to support MMO creation. →  All happy games are alike; each unhappy game is unhappy in its own way.

Violent games may affect us but the Constitution protects us

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In the wake of the Virginia Tech shooting the media once again pounced on video games, an easy target and frequent scapegoat. As usual, gamers were not very thrilled. Many gaming sites wrote scathing condemnations of the obvious idiocy of Jack Thompson, Dr. Phil, and company. Joystiq, however, chose to do something positive.

The site posted a declaration titled “What I know about violent video games” that partially reads:

– I know the difference between right and wrong.
– I know the difference between fantasy and reality.
– I know where the game ends and real life begins.

The declaration has a spot for a signature and is meant to be given to loved ones who may be concerned about your gaming habits. It’s nice to see an attempt to counter the negative media attention given to games that doesn’t resort to calling Jack Thompson an ignorant fascist, which he is. But in the preamble to the declaration there is a problem. →  I am become game, destroyer of words.

There’s a bug in your review

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There’s a bit of a controversy about a certain Spiderman 3 review that may or may not have been based on demo impressions instead of the retail game. I don’t care much about uncovering the truth. Instead, I’d like to discuss a problem this fiasco brings up about our modern review system.

A lot of people commenting on this news piece claim that if the reviewer actually had retail copies, then they should have mentioned some of the crippling technical flaws that many sites seem to be mentioning. Having not played the game(s) myself, I can’t say just how bad these glitches are. Putting Spiderman aside, though, imagine if the review were for that game that had some definite glitches in it, but the reviewer never actually encountered them in their play through.

Now imagine that you and I did find them, and they caused us a hell of a lot of trouble. Chances are we’re both pretty pissed, and were we to review the game, it would definitely lose some kudos. →  Read it your way.

Your favorite game looks like shit

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Something’s been on my mind recently and I can’t make sense of it. Not “why are we here?” or “what’s after this life?” Those are easy questions to answer. I’m talking about something deeper, something video game related.

I consider myself a hardcore gamer based on the amount of gray matter I’ve dedicated to storing information on video games (F, D, F, HP — YOUR HEAD IS MINE!) and for the fact they occupy my thoughts whenever possible. I’ve played hundreds of games on a dozen or so consoles, and here’s the important part, besides the joy of bragging — my favorite titles are spread throughout time and hardware.

I have favorites on the C64 (Archon 2), NES (Contra), Master System (Phantasy Star), Genesis (Shining Force), SNES (Secret of Mana), PS1 (Twisted Metal 2), N64 (Golden Eye), Saturn (Panzer Dragoon), Dreamcast (Bangai-O), PS2 (Guitar Hero), Xbox (Chronicles of Riddick), Gamecube (Eternal Darkness) and PC (Baldur’s Gate 2). As a hardcore gamer I’ve witnessed a revolution in graphics and sound but played enough titles to understand that my favorite games aren’t awesome because they’re pretty. →  I got served!

Mindlessness in games

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I read a good article recently on the heavy use of the word “gameplay” in games journalism. Agree with it or not, the author makes a good point; there is no equivalent word in any other industry jargon. Most sentences that use the word gameplay can be rewritten in some form to create something more descriptive and authoritative. It got me thinking about another mainstay of the lingo that has been bothering me as of late – “mindless”.

The word is used all too often, so much so that I can’t even generalize about whether it is usually in a pejorative or positive sense. According to my scouring of IGN, reviewers and gamers find the following games to be “mindless”:

Tomb Raider Legend
Rainbow Six Vegas
Sonic Riders
Resident Evil 4
Trigger Man
Ninety Nine Nights
Both Half Lifes
Painkiller
Call of Duty 3
Tekken Tag Tournament

For the sake of discussion, let’s just say this (very partial) list is a mix of terrible, average, and a few Game of the Year winners. →  Professor Layton and the Diabolical Post

Shenmue 3 would rock your Wii

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Shenmue failed for a number of reasons. I’d argue it was too awesome for normal people, but others insist it was slow-going, chock full of stupid “That day it rained…” plot, and ultimately boring. The Shenmue games also cost huge amounts of money to develop – many reports approximated a cost of $20 million (Wikipedia simultaneously claims $20 and $70 million) and the first game in the series was supposedly entered into the Guinness Book of World Records for being the most expensive game that had been yet been produced.

Sega would presumably allow development of Shenmue 3 if it weren’t such a huge risk. A costly game that sells poorly is never an attractive prospect to accountants. Deciding the MMO format may make them a profit, Sega has dashed hopes of Shenmue 3. Shenmue Online, if it is ever released, will likely not be what rabid Shenmue fans want. And when Shenmue Online also bombs, it will likely signal the end of the series altogether. →  Ridge Reader V

Console Predictions from a Gamer

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After what felt like three bajillion years (which seemed to be filled with pointless bickering), all three systems are finally out on the market, waiting for whomever wants to jump into the next-generation console war. The last few months have been a very telling period for gaming, with the PS3 not performing as well as some would hope, and Nintendo’s new console coming completely out of nowhere with some amazing numbers, especially considering it’s coming off the heels of possibly the worst performing Nintendo console ever, the GameCube. With that in mind, we can get into the nitty gritty: the future. What’s in store for each player in the console war? We can’t say for sure exactly, but we can have fun predicting.

Xbox 360: In a startling revelation that I’ve found while roaming this clogged series of tubes, many people who were on the fence about the 360 went straight for it the moment the PS3 stumbled coming out of the gate last November. →  The only thing we have to read is read itself.

What makes a game mature?

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In the March issue of PSM is a reader-written letter complaining that nearly all PS3 games are violent (meaning they had gun violence or graphic gore). He asked where the Psychonauts, Wario Wares and other games he could enjoy with his kids were. The editor’s reply was, “The truth is that the PS3 isn’t intended for kids this early in its life cycle. For now, it’s an expensive, hardcore machine targeted almost exclusively at the older gaming audience.” The game industry as a whole has a strange notion of what mature is and is not.

Kids understand violence just fine.

At the core of this issue lies a conflict on the definition of mature. In my world, mature doesn’t mean blood and nipples. Mature ideas, concepts and media are things children wouldn’t understand. Kids may not fully understand and may even be warped by sex and violence, but they aren’t clueless. Humans, like most animals, have a propensity for violence, even when very young, and children certainly have a sexuality, despite most people’s attempt to ignore it. →  Go ahead, read my day.