Nintendo

It’s the end of Civilization as we know it, and I feel fine (I think)

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There has been a recent hullabaloo about the pending Civilization Revolutions game. Having realized that the hardcore 4X PC gamer market is not as lucrative as say, every other platform, Firaxis has set about developing a new “made for console” version of Civilization.

Because a move like this smacks of “selling out” and “destroying the game concept,” and it coincides with what can only be described as criminal negligence of the Beyond the Sword expansion, the community has been at best, suspicious, and at worst, behaving like forum trolls at a n00b feeding frenzy. And they have every right to have this attitude.

For starters, Firaxis is cultivating as much ill will as humanly possible with the Beyond the Sword expansion. The launch version (like all PC games these days) was bug ridden, requiring a patch. →  And so it games…

Mario Galaxy and gaming mindshare

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Super Mario Galaxy is officially out. With any luck, I’ll be the first person on Videolamer to discuss it, though I am probably the only one who doesn’t yet have it (though you are all welcome to buy it for me during my almost ended state of unemployment). That’s okay however, because I’m not really here to discuss the game proper, but the buzz surrounding it. Simply put, this is being called a return to form for Mario, a game that is the rightful successor to Mario 64. This sounds eerily similar to the remarks made about Twilight Princess, which fits the mold created by Ocarina of Time better than any other Zelda to succeed it, even Majora’s Mask. For most people’s money, these are the top two games on the Wii, Metroid Prime notwithstanding. →  I got served!

Mario doesn’t matter

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I’ve been avoiding screens and videos of Mario Galaxy because I want to experience it all for the first time when I am actually playing, not drunkenly browsing the web. Still, I can’t help but read as much as possible about the game and cross my fingers I don’t see too many spoilers (though I did see a huge one – whoever it was who first mentioned that thing with the guy and the thing, you know what I’m talking about, please leave the internet).

Many conversations on the game and Nintendo design in general have gravitated towards arguments over the foolishness of bleeding an IP dry. Hold on, let me get into my Nintendo Defense Force Costume…

Miyamoto has said time and again that he only creates new characters when old ones would not fit with his new gameplay ideas. →  I can has post?

Diary of a Guitar Hero Loser

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Guitar Loser

Recently I wrote of my relative experience in the area of playing the video games and how it related to my ability to enjoy Halo 3. My cocksure countenance and, frankly, fairly insulting prose garnered a respectable number of responses whose general flavor I would describe as mired in absolute and laser-focused ire. Ire mired, as it were.

It is now weeks later and I own Guitar hero 3. I purchased the Wii version because I thought that plugging my Wii-mote into the Les Paul would somehow be more awesome than gaining achievements or playing friends online with less than thirty layers of fucking moon cryptography between myself and those people Nintendo just assumes are trolling the Wii-nternets looking for kids to say nasty things to. It is unfortunate that I must report to you that there is absolutely no reason to go this route. →  Final Fantasy Mystic Post

The State of Japanese Gaming Plus A Couple of Signs That the End Times Are Upon Us

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As I type this, I am covetously inspecting my growing stockpile of canned goods and rice. Earlier I cleaned and loaded my Colt .45 Airsoft pistol with silencer and under barrel flashlight (think Metal Gear Solid 3). Within the next couple of hours I will be ready for what I am guessing is either going to be the zombocalypse, the Second Coming, WWIII, or possibly the release of a Vanilla Ice Greatest Hits album. One way or the other something bad is going to happen and I am going to be ready.

The Japanese are doing curious things that have tipped me off to our fast approaching doom, let me explain.

First, as I was browsing through the video game section of one of my local electronics stores I spotted a Japanese man loading up his shopping cart with: A) Halo 1,2, and 3 B) An Xbox Live membership card and C) one or two other 360 games that I couldn’t make out. →  Assassin’s Read

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 10.26.07

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Skies 2 on Wii?
This may be old, but it’s too amazing to not mention. EGM reported a rumor that Skies of Arcadia 2 is in development for the Wii.

An interview with Will Wright
Will Wright may be a genius. His games are all brilliant, despite always leaving me feeling empty and suicidal. When he speaks, people listen. And then complain if he offended their company loyalties.

Will thinks the Wii is the only next gen console. It’s noble of him to defend ingenuity but I think the higher ground is to simply dismiss next gen chest thumping entirely. In my experience, generations are measured in time and progeny, not progress. My father does not consider me to be in his generation simply because I am as slow, weak and annoying as he. →  Densha de Read! Shinkansen

Time to shape up, Sony

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Just days ago, Tyson discussed the many ways that Sony shot themselves in the foot, which have led to incredibly lagging console sales. He covered just about everything important. I am here to talk about why it hurts so much.

See, I just got a PSP. Before a DS. Shocking, I know, but it was a good deal that I couldn’t refuse. Truth be told, I’ve been pining for one for a long time, though I was constantly afraid that I would regret it months down the road and find a way to obtain a DS.

It has been three weeks, and I love the damn thing. I take it everywhere. I’ve tried out all its features. Somehow I love it so much that I already have five games for it, and I got three of them by trading in old titles at Gamestop. →  Virtua Poster 4: Evolution

Nintendo – update your stupid console

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I have curly red hair. Why does Nintendo hate me? How difficult would it be for them to add some new hair colors and styles to the Mii options? Their lack of effort is either indicative of laziness or deep seated hatred for non-Japanese people and frankly, either of those is culturally insensitive (particularly the latter) and pisses me off.

Also, stop allowing for such asinine polls. Neither black cats nor ladders have control over human affairs and anyone who says otherwise is an inbred peasant, or perhaps retarded Japanese farmer (just trying to even the score here). Though it may stretch the very boundaries of what human beings are capable of, please give us polls with three or dare I say four possible answers. This way you can continue asking questions like “Which day is longer, Tuesday or Thursday?” →  Final Fantasy Mystic Post

The Sony Guide to Committing Game Console Suicide

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Step 1: Create A Technologically Difficult Console. Decide that games don’t really matter and it is console specs that sell new gaming consoles. Create a partnership with IBM that introduces a very fast processor into your new gaming machine. Since games don’t sell systems, it is no big deal that this new bleeding edge CPU is very difficult to design titles around and port titles to. After dealing with the new CPU you decide to throw in your newest form of optical drive that shoots the concept of a decently priced system all to hell.

On top of that, you force yet another media standard on to consumers, something you are already notorious for. Lastly, you decide that the internet is a fad and that people don’t really like Microsoft Live so you figure that there is no need to include anything remotely close with the new console or your business operation. →  Start your journey now, my Lord.

NPD Schadenfreude

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I’m a small, petty man, but maybe you are small and petty, too. If so, you may enjoy these comedic comments from a popular PS3 forum. The context is the following – Halo 3 sold 3.3 million copies in less than two weeks, MS sold 527k 360s, Nintendo 501k Wiis, and Sony 117k PS3s.

“this is just an example of what the media can do to a console. ps3 was just released in the wrong world.”

“And why would any one expect Heavenly Sword to see better then it did it has no advertisement at all and there are only 6 million ps3s out as of now so if you compare that to halo selling 3.3 million of 360 with 10 million units old then its allot closer then it looks.” →  Silent Post 2