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Committing to 2026 video game commitments

January 27, 2026January 27, 2026 by the gang

Sometimes the videolamer staff always makes a commitment to play specific games in a new year and then fails to uphold that commitment. 2026 will be no different, in that it is a year in which we will or will not (in this case will) commit to playing some video games and then most of us will shirk the responsibility to play said games despite having sworn, hand on a Kid Klown in Night Mayor World manual, that we would in front of the entire internet. It is healthy to have aspirations, and it is even healthier to know your limits after initially not knowing them.

Jay

Calculating the exact proportion of new stuff, indie darlings, niche games, and retro titles to play in a given year is an exact science that I refuse to perform hastily or sloppily. So let’s say I’ll play 11, 8.4, 26, and 93 of those in 2026, respectively. Here are some more specifics, including large, non-specific categories:

2026 is the year of the arcade
More on this later through the medium of blog posts, but for now be content knowing I will be playing a lot of arcade games and then forgetting to take notes and either writing vague impressions or joke posts about the games. → Ys: The Article of Napishtim

Let’s keep working together

January 22, 2026 by friendly executive

It has recently come to my attention that a number of videolamer staff are trying to unionize. I am posting this open letter response here because I do not have all you greedy, backstabbing assholes’ email addresses. And because I care.

lame Team,

We write during this extraordinary time for our company, our site, our writers and our country to tell you we want you to love coming to work every day. We’re making progress and we will not stop trying to do our best for you. We love you.

Also, we want to share our thoughts related to the current barrage of union activity that has been directed at videolamer and other “non-union” websites during this difficult time we call the 21st century. A host of union campaigns have been launched that seek to capitalize on the current and perpetual unstable environment in America – one in which misinformation and fear are spreading unchecked in the media. Overall, it does not matter to these union advocates if their “allegations” are “true” or “not.” → All you need is read.

Waving the White Flag – Wartales

January 16, 2026January 15, 2026 by chris

On the surface, Wartales looks a lot like other games I like. I enjoy large-scale simulations, I like fiddly minigames with bonus rewards, I love RPGs, and I even sometimes play tactical games. But in the end I stopped playing Wartales before getting to the second town, waving the white flag of freedom after 15 hours.

There are a few different reasons for this. One is that it’s not possible to focus on just a single aspect of the game. While you have the freedom to, for example, forge weaponry for your squad using the blacksmith “profession”, the materials required to do it must either be purchased in limited quantity or mined from nodes that respawn at unpredictable intervals and are spread throughout the map. While traveling between those spots, you’ll be accosted by brigands or boars, forcing battles that are unavoidable and unskippable. So yes, you can forge equipment, and you should forge equipment since it’s so useful, but you can make maybe two or three pieces every few hours of gameplay before you need to spend more time traveling and fighting. → 18 Wheeler American Pro Reader

Dear lamer: Child rearing advice from a professional video game player

March 6, 2026January 8, 2026 by jay

In this exciting new series, our mascot answers letters readers have sent in with sage advice.

Dear lamer,

I am a real person who hacked their Genesis mini to add a bunch of regular and popular games, such as King Colossus, that Sega omitted from the product. My neighbor, who is not actually the neighbor of someone who writes for this website, saw this excellently decked out Genesis mini and asked to borrow my “Sega Genesis” sometime in 2023. Have you noticed an immediate tell that someone doesn’t have much or any experience with Sega consoles is the use of the word “Sega” before naming a system? It’s a Genesis, a Saturn, a Dreamcast. No one cool says Sega Genesis or Sega Dreamcast, just like anyone familiar with Nintendo doesn’t call the Super Nintendo the Nintendo Super Nintendo.

Anyway, I digress. So I was in my neighbor’s backyard the other day and could see into the basement through the windows (it’s a walk-in basement so I wasn’t being weirder than the average weird guy) and noticed the neighbor’s boy, let’s call him Avid… no, how about Davi, yes that works, so Davi is playing Herzog Zwei on the Genesis mini I lent. → Read me now, believe me later.

2025 in Virtual Postcards

January 16, 2026January 6, 2026 by cunzy

The only general addition to video game console controllers in several decades now is the share button. Now a relic itself as I think we’re kinda collectively done with the social-media- through-your-gaming-device experiment: the PlayStation’s janky native streaming seemingly never took off, Xbox arguably peaked with the 360 dashboard and avatars and you need to daisy chain a whole series of antiquated devices to get stuff off your Switch SD card.

However, I’m interested in why it is we choose to capture those digital postcards. I use the snapshot button way, way more than I would have guessed and for the most part those images go nowhere. Part of my motivation, and I know this is going to age me one thousand human years by typing it out, is because I still remember a time where if you wanted to rewatch a cool cutscene that plays 34 hours into an RPG, the only way of doing so was creating save slots on physical memory cards (normally at a fixed save point) just before it played. → I’m so excited, my braces are tingling!

Wednesdays with Andrew – Virtua Racing and Panzer Dragoon

January 16, 2026January 1, 2026 by jay

Prior entries in this series: Introduction | NiGHTS into Dreams

Another arbitrary amount of time, another entry in the ‘guy makes another guy play Saturn games’ series. This time we played a little of a promising shmupper (this term is useful as it pleases neither the ‘shump’ nor ‘shooter’ crowds), and a little more of two absolute classics by Sega.

Layering Attack Rays in Sections of Galactic Force

Should Galactic Attack have music? Does Attack Galac have a second stage? Why is there so much audible rattling under the hood of my minivan while I drive? Until these questions are answered satisfactorily, we decided to put aside Galactic Attacktic for a future date. In the meantime I will find a new bin/cue file and not speak to a mechanic. We did play enough to realize the game is good and for Andrew to compose his requisite haiku, luckily for you. Only time will tell if I demand he write another after we play more of the game. → A delayed article is eventually good, a rushed article is all we post.

Another Tragic Christmas

January 16, 2026December 30, 2025 by jay

The Christmas after I left my parents home for good I wrote out my list and mailed it to the North Pole, like I had every year. For the first time in my life, Santa Claus did not come. It took some time to make peace with this fact. While attending college I still went home for holidays and summers and Santa kept delivering. Apparently, once you graduate and fully move out of your parent’s home, Santa is made aware, likely via Christmas magic, and considers you an adult unqualified to receive gifts. I am mostly over this unpleasant reality, though it still stings a little. But what came next is simply wrong.

Since my child could speak, we have made a list of requested toys and sent it off to the NP. And since we started this tradition, my kid has received exactly zero gifts from Santa. Every Christmas is full of dashed hope and fresh tears as we realize we have been snubbed yet again by Saint Nick. → This post are sick.

A Christmas Revelation

January 16, 2026December 25, 2025 by jay

Despite what the man wants you to believe, video games are fairly true to life. For example, people do drop money when you kill them, and while you have no literal meter filling up with points, you do gain experience that makes killing the next person easier. And, if Catharism is to be believed, and I can see no reason it shouldn’t, dying in real life simply results in respawning, much like in a game. This realism makes games a great tool for educating our children but there is the hidden danger that they learn unfactual things, or unlearn factual things from them. One of the widest spread misconceptions from video games, movies, and lithographs is the lie that skeletons can smile. (Technically, skulls smile in media and not skeletons but if you smiled at me wearing all of your muscles and skin I would say something normal like “Your body has a nice smile,” and not something weird like, “Your face has a nice smile.”) → Ba da bam ba baa I’m readin’ it.

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes

January 16, 2026December 18, 2025 by chris

It’s hard to confine everything I felt as I played Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes to a single post. Or even to the written word. A mixture of relief, frustration, sadness, and joy in different measures and different times will have to do. It took me months to gather my thoughts enough to write about it and months more to refine it and each time I have revised I’ve felt a little different.

Here’s a little bit of history, since this is the backdrop for my experience with the Kickstarter. You may know the original writer behind Suikoden (Yoshitaka Murayama) left the video game industry for years. I heard he specifically wanted to limit his time at Konami and it was an amicable split. Two more Suikoden games and three more spinoffs were made afterward, and they were still pretty decent games. I’ve long been a fan of the series – their eastern flavor, their heartfelt moments, their fun and varied cast of characters and attention to both large and small scale are a breath of fresh air in a genre that mostly sticks to smaller groups, bigger stakes, and plot twists with maximal shock value. → Four out of five dentists recommend reading more.