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Gaming Industry Advice from a Non Gaming Industry Member

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Hey, that title looks like our slogan! This started as a comment to Derek’s post, but I decided I would kick it up a notch and give you all some Golden Jew advice on the gaming industry, if you actually want in. Matt is probably a better source than I, since he’s active in the industry and it’s been a decade since I was, but being Jewish, I know a little something about business (and about dodging Nazis).

Although the matriculation rate of QA peon to game designer is low in an institutional setting (EA, Maxis, Bioware, etc…shit… those are all the same company now!), it’s comparable to most other popular industries. Examples of “popular industries” include sports teams (going from bitch peon to normal peon), video games (QA peon to developer peon), and the movie industry (production assistant peon to producer peon). →  You had me at read more.

GET PAID TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES!

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I like having sex. Who doesn’t, right? (answer: Condoleezza Rice) That said, I don’t think that I would be a ho if it were somehow possible. I like to choose who I have sex with, and I don’t think I could do it all day, and it’s illegal and immoral and dirty and all that. Similarly, I like to play games, but I don’t think I’d want to be a game tester. For as long as I can remember, the reality of my gaming world has been shaped by the fact that most games simply suck, and are less fun than almost anything. I don’t want to play Virtua Tennis 3 for thirty minutes, let alone 40 hours. But there are many among us who believe that because you like doing an activity, then wanting to do it every day for months (and getting paid!) →  Illiterates hate her! Click to read this one weird trick.

Random Old Game – Snake Rattle ‘n Roll

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The NES had so many goofy oddball games, it’s nearly impossible to keep track of them all. Snake Rattle ‘n Roll stands out from the hordes via upbeat jazz music, a bizarre (therefore original) sense of style, and fun cooperative gameplay.

You play as snake(s) appropriately named Rattle (and Roll). To get through the stages, you avoid or defeat strange, snake-hating enemies, from water-dwelling sharks to razor blade traps to giant, snake-crushing disembodied feet. Your objective is to get to the moon for reasons unknown. Placed at specific points in the level are pellet dispensers, which shoot out pellets which you can eat. The pellets try to avoid you in a different way each level; the early ones simply roll or walk, while later ones will bounce or fly away. →  How many games must a gamer play before you call him a gamer?

Tales From Behind The Counter – I Am A Snobby Bastard

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It is inevitable that this topic is going to come up so I will tackle it now. Today’s secret word is a fun one: elitist. When I hear that word, my initial response is a simple, “Yes. I. Am.”

Every genre of media has its upper echelon of assholes who insist that their opinion on the topic is really, truly the only one that matters. I consider myself to be above that upper echelon. I have titled myself a “post-gamer”. I have basically played so many video games for so long that I really don’t like them anymore. In fact, talking about video games usually bores the living daylights out of me and watching people play video games is akin to making small cuts with a dull knife on the fleshy, inner part of my thigh. →  Disaster Readport

Tales From Behind The Counter – The Long Joystick of the Law

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Last night I achieved a sales goal that I don’t think will ever be topped by another mortal.

It was a quiet evening and my boss, Jason, and I were being good little worker bees. Alphabetizing and sorting titles, rearranging aisles, trying to restructure the layout of my store so that it may actually generate a couple of bucks profit. One of our big tasks of the night had been to weed the crappy and older games from the shelves and make a bargain bin of marked down titles that was placed prominently in front of the door so would-be customers had to walk right past it. Both of us were sitting on the floor of our empty and serene establishment when the front door burst open and two police officers rushed into the building, hands on guns and tasers. →  Sly 3: Honor Among Reads

Add to the pile

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My old college friend is coming to visit this weekend. What does this have to do with videolamer you ask?

He’s bringing his copy of Mass Effect for me to borrow for an indefinite amount of time. That means yet another person gets to weight in his opinion about this RPG.

I warn you; I haven’t been a fan of most of Bioware’s work, save for the games that also had Black Isle stamped on it. That includes Knights of the Old Republic. I’m wary about how much I will enjoy Mass Effect, but I will give it a fair shake, as I’m always up for being proven wrong. If I still don’t like it, I won’t go saber rattling about it. →  You lost me.

You have to Burn the Rope

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By now you might have heard of You Have to Burn the Rope, the flash game which will become a new phenomenon for some time to come (though likely nowhere near the likes of Portal). I’m not sure how this sits with me, because I’m not sure people understand the game. Or perhaps I don’t understand it.

What I mean is that there is really nothing to understand about it. It is an incredibly simple, completely straightforward 30 second boss fight. Why are there video walkthroughs and FAQs and speedruns? Because every game, no matter how big or small, seems to attract this kind of attention and scrutiny. Is it stupid? Hell yes, as stupid as it is that so many other games are treated as such. →  The review for ‘Shark Sandwich’ was merely a two word review which simply read ‘Read Sandwich.’

Metal Gear Solid: The Settle Collection

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As the PS2 winds down, it has become quite popular to release cheap three game collections for it. Until now, the best one out there was the Devil May Cry pack, but now it has been usurped by Metal Gear Solid: The Essential Collection. With the first three MGS games for $30, this is the perfect way for MGS newbies to experience the series before it signs off with its fourth and final entry. Whether it is worth it for long time fans is a tougher question to answer, as this package is shy from perfect.

The content is the toughest question. Metal Gear Solid comes in a nice DVD case, but is the original Playstation pressing, meaning you will need a PS1 memory card. →  Hot Shots Post 3

Tales From Behind The Counter – Come One, Come all! Hear my tales of Mystery and Excitement!

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Welcome to the inaugural release of my new and (hopefully) weekly column. Since returning to America, I have found myself short on cash and pretty much willing to do anything for a buck or two. Yes, I have even tried to sell my body but for some reason or another, most prospective customers frown upon my “by the pound, by the hour” pricing scheme. This lack of cash and abundance of free time meant that I spent a lot of time hanging out with my friend who works at a small video game shop close to my house. Well lets be real honest, it isn’t my house, it’s my parents’ house and I live in the basement.

One night my friend and I were talking while there was a lull in customers tooling around the shop and it came up that if I was going to hang out with her at the video game shop, I may as well be getting paid for it. →  You lost me.

Online play – the kids aren’t alright

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Gamasutra recently posted an article about how annoying people in online play may very well be hurting sales. Regardless of whether this is a stretch, any discussion from developers about the problem of griefers is welcome. Like it or not, multiplayer features are becoming critical to the success of a game, so it is important to see those making them look at the issues that surround providing a good online experience. Otherwise all those Gamespot reviews that call for multiplayer everything start to look even sillier.

The more I play Call of Duty 4, the more I notice the trends among idiotic players. Among your older players, the supposed majority of the gaming world, you get your typical racists, wanna be gangsters, and so on. →  Just read it.