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Banjo Kazooie – Does Anyone Care?

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The answer to the title is “no” – no one cares about the new Banjo Kazooie that is likely to be released. Let us break down the modern history of Rare.

Star Fox Adventures – stuck so close to the Zelda formula I’m not sure why they bothered.

Grabbed by the Ghoulies – I almost forgot this one.

Kameo – Less memorable than the PS2 launch titles

Perfect Dark Zero – The biggest joke so far this generation.

Viva Pinata – I did forget about this one. Let’s just say it launched with a cartoon from 4kids Entertainment. They knew what they were doing all along.

Rare has not been relevant in years, and I think has been a good thing for gaming. →  Now bear my arctic post.

Something old, new, recycled and blue

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I’ve decided to condense two potential blog posts into one topic, as they are both somewhat similar in nature. I should do this more often, as it seems to force me to take my almost article length ramblings and cut them down into something readable. A win for all.

Some time ago Jay wrote a discussion on Mario and how he is anything but a throwaway character. Interesting then that a “games editor” at Softpedia (a site which I have only known before as a place where I failed to get working drivers) has claimed that mascots like Mario and Sonic should be locked up in a museum and never put into another game, starting right this minute. His reasoning is that they are old and stale, and offer nothing new to the gaming table, hurting the industry more than helping. →  Welcome to the Fantasy Zone.

Random Old Game – Drakkhen

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There are few games that can inspire a sense of true exploration – a feeling of awe at how large or detailed they are. Fewer still are the games that can bring out that feeling even after you’ve beaten them. For some reason, despite being only a so-so game in nearly every other respect, Drakkhen (of a few systems, though most notably the SNES) still holds uncounted mysteries in my mind.
Seems fair.

The most likely source of this awe is simply that the game is so abominably random. I never owned the instruction book, and the introduction only gives vagaries as to the plot (blah blah, 4 elements, 2 poles of power). Fact is, you create a party and start in the middle of the Earth area with little direction. →  [link only works on even seconds]

Echochrome Demo impressions

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Thanks to their simple file format, getting Japan only PSP demos is a snap. Thank goodness, because that means you can play the three level demo of Echochrome without hassle.

EXCITING!

The experience is quite interesting, but I am not completely sold. The stylings are nice and simple – an absolute bare minimal interface, simple levels and constantly looping string music make this the closest thing to therapeutic gaming. Despite the Japanese text, the controls are easy to learn; you can make your stick figure avatar either move faster along the terrain, or stop to “think”, giving you time to do the same. The D-pad of course allows you to rotate the world, which is the mechanic used to solve all the puzzles. →  The King of Articles 2002: Unlimited Match

Teabagging and Halo 3 — An Anthropological Study

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The Muffin Buffalo stalks through the corridors and crevasses of The Narrows map on Halo 3. Quietly he roams, picking his targets and releasing them from their mortal coils. He has done this many times before and is good at his job. Out of nowhere, a fellow warrior named SheepandVelcro69 jabs Muffin Buffalo from behind with the butt of his shotgun. Muffin Buffalo lurches forward and then lifelessly drops to the ground. This has also happened to him many times, business as usual, the cycle of death repeats.

But wait, SheepandVelcro69 is not leaving his corpse; does he feel remorse for the act he has just committed? Is he taking a moment of silent reflection to realize that body could just as easily be him lying on the ground? →  Devil Summoner: Readou Kuzunoha vs. the Soulless Article

Microsoft lets a customer down, gamers let humanity down

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When I first saw the headline of this story – Microsoft Erases Gamers Memories – I figured some kid drew a picture of his favorite My Little Pony on the side of his 360 case and Microsoft erased it. That would be a shame, but less crappy than what actually happened. The more accurate story (minus the ponies) – A guy has a 360 since launch, brings it with him everywhere he goes and accumulates a variety of signatures from Microsoft, Bungie and other companies. There is even a large drawing of Master Chief on the system.

So he calls Microsoft after his system inevitably breaks. They assure him that they will send back the same console he is sending in. →  Beyond Read & Evil

Where Gamers go? No…

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There’s this great little electronics shop near me. I used to loathe them, and I still do for some things, but lately they’ve been picking up the pace in the games department. In the stores near my home and my job, I have found fresh copies of No More Heroes and Zak and Wiki. Back in the summer there were multiple copies of Persona 3 (despite its obscurity and its odd box shape). I have seen Every Extend Extra and King of Fighters XI in $10 bargain bins, and if you really want to get crazy, I can grab you a copy of Metropolismania 2. Today I picked up a copy of Patapon on its release date, though if I ordered it online I could have had free shipping (after watching a lovely trailer on their store website). →  I’d rather die than not read this article!

Assassins Creed – A fifty eight thousandth perspective

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Spoiler Alert!

Contrary to its sweet box depicting a stealthy, medieval assassin decked out in (incongruously clanky) ninja-type gear, this is not a game about a medieval assassin. Instead, it is a game about — buckle up, my friend — some guy in the present day who is kidnapped by a mysterious corporation…and forced to repeatedly hook himself up to a machine…that not only can access the stored ancestral memories that lie dormant in his DNA, but can turn these ancient memories into a virtual reality world…that he can interact with in order to unlock additional memories; in his case, the memories of his awesome assassin predecessor…who apparently carried the same gene for white hoodies that he does. Got that? No? →  Rule of Read

PSP Demo Roundup

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Two noteworthy demos have hit the PSP in the last two weeks. Here are some impressions from yours truly:

Patapon: The guys behind locoroco are at it again, this time with their own take on both strategy and music games. Made in a similar, gorgeous 2d style as LocoRoco, Patapon has you lead armies of little Patapons towards victory and freedom. This is done by banging magic, godly drums in order to issue orders to your army. It is a very interesting setup; while the demo only allows you to move and attack, these two commands alone offer quite some depth. Since play alternates between you banging the drums and the Patapon singing and acting in response, you have to time commands while not screwing them up. →  A reader is you.

Where to get gaming news

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When it comes to my favorite places for gaming news, I seem to go in cycles. I find one or two sites that I use to learn general (and sometimes subtle) info, and then discover the really obscure stuff through favorite forums. It is a good system, so long as I keep refreshing it by ditching sites when they lose their potency (or just bug me) and finding new ones.

Folks, it has come time for some updates, and I’m looking for suggestions. I finally realized just how much I bitch about game blogs like Kotaku and Joystiq, and yet continued to visit them. Today was the breaking point. This morning Joystiq had seven separate posts about Spore. Any responsible news site would take such a media explosion and condense it into some sort of “Spore news section.” →  Game. James Game.