News and Crap

There are tons of news stories every week about the video game industry. Naturally, we don’t really care about most of it. So we edit each week’s volumes of boring news into a convenient size and focus only on the biggest stories and stuff we personally care about. Then we complain about it.

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 8.11.06

by

Handheld gaming devices are now terrorist weapons
Now I’ll need to build a steam powered gaming device for my trip to England. I was really looking forward to playing Al Qaeda’s Touch Terror and the Taliban’s Death to Americhat on my DS, too. Apparently, US Flights are also banning liquids. I think I’ll debate the flight attendant on how glass can be considered a liquid and therefore the windows must be removed until he decides to ignore me.

If most gamers were nerds who got beaten up as kids, wouldn’t they want to play a game where you beat up bullies instead of a game where you are a bully?

Kotaku talks to anti-bullying guy
In the interview, the anti-bully group guy says that some games shouldn’t be made. George Carlin has said that everything is open to humor and I completely agree with him, only I include more than humor. Everything should be open to every kind of creative art. →  Eh, I’ve got nothing better to do.

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 7.28.06

by

It works.

Victor Ireland starts a new company
The guy behind the now closed Working Designs is back in business. Woo? I’m not really sure. The new company is called GaijinWorks, which is probably not a great name. It’s a little similar to a Japanese company trying to do business in America with the name Ignorant Foreigner Enterprises.

Critics are already saying his new company is doomed to failure unless he has learned from his past mistakes, which include having enough principle to ruin a business. Can’t say I blame him for how he handled WD, but then I can’t say I disagree with his critics, either.

Another criticism Vic is facing is that he is no longer needed because companies like Atlus have filled his shoes. This is a stupid position to take. Some gamers will only be satisfied when all good Japanese games come to our shores. I, on the other hand, will only be satisfied when ALL Japanese games come to our shores. →  Finger lickin’ read.

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 7.21.06

by

New Sony patent for motion sensing camera
We’ll have to wait and see if Sony releases a peripheral with this technology for the PS3. The patent refers to older similar technology Sony has designed so it provides a good defense to the claims that Sony is merely copying Nintendo. The question now becomes is Sony rushing these technologies to market in response to Nintendo.

Both Sony and Nintendo have advantages in how their products are being sold. If Sony’s new motion sensing technology sells well, games that make use of it will follow. But the product is statistically likely to be another throwaway peripheral with minimal support. If Nintendo’s gamble pays off their motion sensitive games will likely far outnumber the PS3’s and be superior in quality. Conversely, if the Wiimote concept doesn’t work then they have a much farther fall than Sony.

And am I the only person who doesn’t want to have to look at himself while playing an Eye Toy game? →  Read or die.

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 7.14.06

by

Phil Harrison doesn’t think Sony is arrogant
Phil is one of my (many) mortal enemies and it just so happens I compiled some of his best quotes and posted them right here. He may be more talented, successful, and smell less than I, but he is still a douche bag. You see, I don’t lie in public. And when I do, it’s just posted on a tiny little site no one gives a shit about. My lies reach dozens of people, his reach possibly millions. He also makes a lot more.

Violent crime may not pay, but amorality seems to be the road to success (fine, so lying for your employer may be immoral, not amoral. But if he is willing to kill for Sony, then perhaps he is amoral. We’ll have to wait and see if any Microsoft employees wash up on the Hudson.)

These animals are different than other movie animals. These animals have attitude.

US game sales up
The DSLite is selling well, go America! →  2 h4rdc0r3 4 U.

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 7.7.06

by

Japanese game market doing better
The market is up 33% in the first half of the 2006. Unsurprisingly, Nintendo played a large role. While I prepare the next news point, you pick one of the two following arguments:

– The Japanese game market is being revitalized by innovation. The success of the DS is a sure sign that the Wii will do well in Japan.

– The Japanese game market is being revitalized by handhelds. This does not mean their interest in consoles will pick up.

Ok, now find a friend who picked the argument you didn’t. Found someone? Excellent, now debate.

“Damn, I really need to shave my head and lose some weight.”

Microsoft’s iPod killer coming this Christmas
Funny, MS Word doesn’t recognize iPod as a word. A lot of powerful companies have gone up against Apple and none have taken the portable MP3 player market from them. Knowing that J. Allard is spearheading MS’s music player also makes me want it to fail. →  Ba da bam ba baa I’m readin’ it.

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 6.30.06

by

Hot on Sony’s heels, Bill Gates has hired Xzibit to be the spokesrapper for the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.

MS copies Sony, says Sony
First of all, let me make it clear that I will never trust anyone named Kaz, Baz, or Waz. Chaz from Phantasy Star IV and Raz from Psychonauts are alright, though. Moving on, Kaz Hirai has told the Official PlayStation Magazine “Every time we go down a path, we look behind and [Microsoft is] right there – we just can’t shake these guys. I wish that they would come up with some strategies of their own, but they seem to be going down the path of everything we do.”

What is he talking about? I’m not sure; I guess I’ll have to buy the magazine to see if he actually gives a single example. He must be talking about business strategies because Sony isn’t exactly known as an innovator, besides from that rumble feature they invented. →  Fear the old posts.

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 6.23.06

by

A CNN reporter grades the current generation of consoles
Apparently the tone he takes (he treats the systems like school kids) is supposed to be funny and/or clever. He gives the PS2 an A, the Xbox a B-, the Gamecube a D and the Gameboy Advance an A. The Xbox actually sold worse than the Cube worldwide, but since when do American journalists bother themselves with other countries?

This article reminds me of a feature in the newest EGM where they give grades to the future of each system. Somehow the Gamecube ends up with a lower grade than the Xbox despite the Xbox getting no new first party games and one or two 3rd party exclusives. The Cube gets the new Zelda, Super Paper Mario, a new Donkey Konga game, and from Namco the sequel to Baten Kaitos.

My life has been so empty without you.

New Futurama episodes!
This is the first not game news I’ve posted here. I think this may be more important than games, though, so it’s ok. →  I’m gonna take you for a read.

Pages: 1 2

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 6.16.06

by

Round 1: Uwe versus Alien!

Uwe Boll challenges his critics to a boxing match
The sad thing is my borough president challenged his competitor to a boxing match so whatever I say about Boll directly applies to someone with much more power. Actually, that’s not true. Guy Molinari may be as stupid as Boll and may think that punching people makes you smarter, more capable of governing, or more capable of directing than your opponent, but Molinari is not responsible for the Alone in the Dark movie. Uwe Boll is, and should be beaten up for it.


Blizzard denies working on MMO versions of Starcraft and Diablo
This means nothing other than Blizzard won’t officially say they’re working on these titles now.

ARR! Pirate DS carts
Want a game that doesn’t require your progress to be saved? Buy it pirated on eBay! I’m just kidding. And what the hell games are you playing that don’t save?

Following the hoards of illegal GBA carts, now we can buy poor quality versions of DS games. →  Onimusha 2: Samuread’s Destiny

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 6.9.06

by

Jaws Unleashed


Majesco makes money
I’ve written about this company a few times because they dared to take a chance on some creative games and nearly went bankrupt for it. Now they have a different direction that focuses less on making premium titles and more on making shitty games that sell. Their portable lineup is actually respectable, but with console titles like Jaws Unleashed, it won’t be hard to turn my back on Majesco and hope EA buys them out only to make them all sex slaves (they’ll be paid for 40 hours a week, but not for the overtime they put in).

Hillary Clinton’s Media Guide for Parents (complete with cute drawing of children)
Clinton basically suggests we read Common Sense Media’s take on media ratings. The Common Sense Media people are about “media sanity, not censorship.” This sounds a lot like the Islamic cartoon debacle to me. A lot of people who do lip service to the first amendment but then also say things like, “free speech must be responsible speech.” →  Hey, hey, hey, it’s time to make some crazy reading!

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 6.2.06

by

E3 awards
Wii wins best in show award. So this justifies Nintendo’s actions. When they eventually get trampled in the free market they can at least say, “Oh well, other industry people thought it could work, too.”

Spore won best PC game and best original game. Gears of War picked up a few awards, and the DS Zelda won best handheld. I’m happy to see Bioware’s Mass Effect won something, too, as I am in love with that company. I’m totally having their babies.

Analyst specultes on MS handheld
The Marketeer already broke the news that Microsoft was entering the handheld market.

Peter Moore has started a list of every backwards compatible Xbox game.

Backwards compatibility not a priority for MS
How convenient. Promise backwards compatibility, do a so so job (no Soul Calibur 2?), then after a good number of systems have been sold announce that people aren’t really interested in backwards compatibility and that you aren’t really interested, either. →  The gamers have only interpreted the games, in various ways. The point, however, is to change them.