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The Propaganda Project: Reggie Fils Aime

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Reggie Fils Aime – President Nintendo of America

Nintendo’s American President does not come from a gaming background. He was hired to compete with the bullshit artists at the other companies. Iwata is too Japanese and not in our faces enough to handle an American audience that seems to enjoy being lied to. Enter Reggie. For each new entry, I seem to invent new categories of quotes. Reggie should be honored to know that in reading transcripts of his I couldn’t help but create the “Marketing vomit” category specifically for him. Although Allard was pretty vomitty, too.

(For an explanation of what this article is, please read this.)
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Bitchy comments
Microsoft has made the comment that people can buy an Xbox 360 and Wii for about the same price as a PlayStation 3. Would you mind terribly if that happened?

I’d much rather have the consumer buy a Wii, some accessories, and a ton of games, vs. buying any of my competitor’s products. →  Call me game-shmael.

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 8.25.06

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Game testing company founded by ex-Lionhead guy
The outsourcing of game testing has the potential to prevent computer games (and some console games) from shipping despite being riddled with bugs. I doubt this new company will have a facility like I described in this article — a huge building with a thousand computers each with varying graphics cards, processors, operating systems and viruses caught from downloading porn. Even so, Testology is a good step forward.

It is slightly depressing on at least one level, though. Think of your favorite tiny developer. Now, imagine a world where all testing is outsourced. Realize you can never get a job at this tiny developer you love oh so much. Now weep.

You are not individual enough for the light blue DSL.

Pink and black DSLites coming to America
Says the press release,

“…the new colors just add another element of fun, allowing people to ‘personalize’ who they are by the color, or colors they pick.” →  Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this post!

Best Game Ever – Xevious

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A blaring chorus of trumpets signifies the launch of your Solvalou fighter, followed by an endless loop of piano keys. And so begins Xevious, one of the best and most important shoot ’em ups of all time.

Take this you mother…ship!

Xevious is actually quite different from some of its predecessors. Previous efforts from Namco, such as Galaxian and Galaga, were similar to Space Invaders. They gave the player very limited freedom of movement and a slow ass little laser, a put them against wall after wall of foes. Xevious is a very early example of the modern ‘schmup. You can fly in any direction on the bottom half of the screen (albeit slowly). Enemies also begin to use more modern tactics. Rather than relying on sheer numbers to overpower you, they use speed and firepower. Enemies are on the field for only a few seconds, enough time to squeeze off a few shots or simply to distract you. You now have to avoid a near constant spray of bullets and enemy craft in addition to aiming your own shots. →  Secread of Evermore

Logitech Wireless controllers eat it

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Logitech wireless controllers may look cool, but my experience with them has been quite disappointing. Hoping to make all my gaming as convenient as Game Cube sessions, I spent $40 a pop on three Logitech controllers, two PS2 and one Xbox. Before spending money I check out a product’s reviews and this purchase was no exception. Everyone seemed quite satisfied with the wireless controllers and people touted the merits of the Logitech brand; they were no Mad Katz.

It turns out they’re no Nintendo, either. The Logitech controllers lose their connection significantly more frequently than the Nintendo made Wavebird controllers. Often this amounts to a mild annoyance but sometimes, depending on what I’m playing, it can lead to near instant death. It’s hard to gauge, but I think the PS2 controllers crap out a lot more than the Xbox one, but that may just be because I play my PS2 much more than my Xbox.

In addition to an iffy wireless signal, the Xbox controller has shitty buttons. →  Are anyone else’s nipples hard?

Life as a Game Tester: Episode 1

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Hello everyone! I’m here to introduce to you to a new segment on videolamer that delves into a part of the industry that is rather unknown: Quality Assurance. It’s no picnic, I can assure you, but I wanted to spill the beans on what it takes to be a game tester, seeing how I am one. Through these articles, I’m going to try to open your eyes to how the games industry operates, and maybe let you decide if it really is something to pursue as a career. Not many companies actually detail how they go about day-to-day business, so I’m here to help you out a little. I don’t know how long this will go for, as I’m not sure if it’s entirely legal to talk about some of this stuff, but I really don’t care. Getting fired is the least of my worries.

Anyway, to start off, I’ll try to outline what I do all day. First, I live two hours away from…. →  Ask not what this post can do for you - ask what you can do for this post.

Games as Art II

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A vast majority of game reviews are done methodically. Games have been broken down into a handful of components and each of these is generally given a numeral rating. The bare set of qualities examined is typically gameplay, graphics, sound, and control but more elaborate reviews may include music and sound effects separately as well as longevity, difficulty, and tilt or slant. Some reviews even attempt to quantify fun.

Keeps nerds clean.

Other art is generally not torn apart in such a mechanical way. Aspects of a painting, novel or film that are particularly good or bad are usually mentioned but very few movie critics give individual ratings to screen play, dialog, acting, camera work, sets, lighting, editing, costume, stunt choreography, etc. So why do we review games the way we do?

I think there are primarily two reasons, one based on where games come from and the other where they are going. Video games came from creative but scientifically minded people, not the traditional artistic types. →  Sid Meier’s Alpha Centarticle

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 8.18.06

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World Games is another awesome/terrible Epyx title.

Classic Epyx games coming to current consoles
Impossible Mission and California Games remakes coming to the Wii, DS and PSP and they’ll be in 2d. Now I can finally finish Impossible Mission, let’s just hope it doesn’t have a bug in it like the Atari version (the bug made the game unbeatable). California Games should be very interesting because it’s debatable that the original was actually a piece of shit. Through the glasses of nostalgia I remember the game quite fondly but it’s true that the actual gameplay is similar to Wario Wares, only minus the creativity, humor and instead of 105 there are 5 games to play.

“Classic” Electronic Arts compilation coming to the PSP
What’s this, another compilation featuring games from my beloved C64? No. By classic, they mean Genesis era. They also don’t necessarily mean “good,” either. Mutant League Football was fun, and the Haunting was very original, but most of these games just won’t excite anyone. →  Postsona 3 FES

The Power of Music

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Music is the one power that the majority of developers never seem to grasp and implement correctly. Music in a game can enhance every aspect, be it story, setting, mood, or even gameplay, but for some reason, it always takes a back seat to everything else in a game, especially the graphics.

Kondo: the Japanese French Stewart?

Let me give you an example of how music, implemented to its fullest, can be beneficial to a game’s overall feeling. Shadow of the Colossus. How epic and strong did you feel when that music kicked in, when you finally started climbing the back of one of those monstrous Colossi? You felt something, didn’t you? It wasn’t visual feedback that created that feeling, or the fact that you overcame a puzzle. It was the pounding musical score that drove adrenaline through you. You felt like a true hero when that music started blaring, and that was the whole intent of the game.

The character you portray, Wanderer, isn’t the best adventurer we’ve seen in video games. →  Ratchet & Read

The Propaganda Project: J Allard

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J Allard — Corporate Vice Presient, Microsoft

Empowerment to the next level, Allard is a PR guy who really loves clichés that push the envelope. Luckily, he seems to be grounded in what makes games good as he has said many times that graphics are a single component and not necessarily important. He also frequently says he wants to expand the market, mirroring Nintendo’s stated goal. Because dirt on Allard was significantly harder to find than on Harrison, some of the quote categories have been left out and I even added a new one: Inspirational.

(For an explanation of what this article is, please read this.)
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Bitchy Comments
Some people say the Xbox 360 looks the same as other systems. That it is just more of the same, just more powerful than the other systems. That it’s just more graphics, more polygons, more, more, more. What will it do that is different?

And if you go too far, and you try to change the category altogether and we give you a wacky controller, or I’m going to give you wacky games that you don’t really understand, and we’re going to market it or price it in a wacky way, I think we would have been very much a failure. →  Shadow of Read

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 8.11.06

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Handheld gaming devices are now terrorist weapons
Now I’ll need to build a steam powered gaming device for my trip to England. I was really looking forward to playing Al Qaeda’s Touch Terror and the Taliban’s Death to Americhat on my DS, too. Apparently, US Flights are also banning liquids. I think I’ll debate the flight attendant on how glass can be considered a liquid and therefore the windows must be removed until he decides to ignore me.

If most gamers were nerds who got beaten up as kids, wouldn’t they want to play a game where you beat up bullies instead of a game where you are a bully?

Kotaku talks to anti-bullying guy
In the interview, the anti-bully group guy says that some games shouldn’t be made. George Carlin has said that everything is open to humor and I completely agree with him, only I include more than humor. Everything should be open to every kind of creative art. →  Your right post comes off?