Random Crap

Stuff that doesn’t fit into one of the other categories goes here.

Faxanadu and Crystalis

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I’d like to bring a couple of old games to your attention. To me, these games pioneered the Action/RPG genre, which sadly has not received the attention it deserves.

First on the list is Faxanadu. An offshoot of the Dragon Slayer series in Japan (of which we received Faxanadu and Legacy of the Wizard), Faxanadu has much in the way of fantasy stereotypes: your character is an elf, and your mission is to make your way to the World Tree and track down those crazy dwarves who keep shutting off the elves’ water supply (thereby bringing about the deterioration of the world, etc, etc).

Although the plot is there, it is not particularly interesting. The important part is that you keep exploring, crossing vast expanses of diverse terrain, and you fight whatever gets in your way with magic, swords, and items. →  Read the rest

Wii give thanks

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This Thanksgiving, I decided to put Nintendo’s new business strategy to the test by bringing home my Wii. Would it appeal to non-gamers and to past gamers? And just how shallow was Wii Sports? For scientific purposes, I spent time with both my girlfriend’s family and my own. Luckily, I wouldn’t have to perform these tests on an empty stomach, though the tryptophan didn’t necessarily help. (Tryptophan reference for comedic purposes only. In turkey, the chemical is contained in small amounts and the wrong form to actually produce drowsiness.)

My girlfriend’s parents were basically uninterested in the Wii. I played first, showing them how it was done and her mom tried once, but that was all. She needed help mastering the few buttons required to play. A friend spending the holiday with us refused to touch the remote. →  Read the rest

Where has the hype gone?

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Here in England, we always get things late. Sometimes very late, but that’s usually just Sony (I still stand by my claim that the PS3 won’t be out here until November). Something that England and the rest of Europe usually have, though, is an abundance of hype, hype, and more hype. Strangely enough, we all of a sudden have a lack of hype, and since the Wii has been released in America it seems to have disappeared off of the face of the planet over here. It’s released here in less than a month, so where has it all gone?

Maybe Nintendo have suddenly discovered that it won’t appeal to us Limeys. They’ve seen that the majority of the reviews by fat balding Americans of Red Steel be a tad negative, and they must be assuming the same for the English. →  Read the rest

Like, totally super cool shopping recommendations

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It’s becoming somewhat of a rarity to find a video game store that actually knows what they’re doing. Most of the time, you go into a store and get hounded to death by a caveman who just got hired off the streets. And no, they’re not even the cool Geico cavemen, either. Other times, a store has a complete lack of selection, believing Madden is the only game ever made, and proudly advertising their ignorance.

With two new consoles being released this year, videolamer is here to survey the battle field by detailing many stores that sell video games. We’ll break them up into categories of stores, and work from there.

Specialty Retailers
These are your EB Games, GameStop’s, GameCrazy’s, and what have you. These stores are the absolute best for selection. →  Read the rest

Numbers are fun!

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In the course of doing my job, I managed to stumble across some information about the stocks of video game companies. Turns out a Bloomberg terminal is a worthwhile investment (when I am not paying for it) after all. Basically, I am now able to put numbers (which will not be precise, since there may be some intellectual property rights at issue) next to musings such as “It seems the DS is selling a lot of unit,” or “What happened to the PSP, are there any games?” Please beware the frequent use of parenthetical statements (such as this one: DS = original DS + DS Lite).

Something that needs to be understood about the way traditional financial statistics apply to the video game industry (and entertainment media generally) is that there is a “round peg, square hole” problem. →  Read the rest

Off to a shaky start

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This is a little video of my Wii not working right. Any time I try to go to the Wii store to buy Zelda, it eventually locks up on me. The home button still works and the remote movement is still registered, but clicking on buttons ceases to do anything. Comcast has been dropping frequently today so it may be that the Wii doesn’t react well to momentarily losing its connection to the internet. Or it could be that my Wii is broken.

Here’s a pic of it doing this on a different screen. The field with the cursor, actually, all fields refuse to let me enter them.

 →  Read the rest

Random PS3-related News:11/13

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Here’s a few things that are going on in the world of Playstation 3 today:

PS3 Backwards Compatibility Less Than Stellar
Reports coming out of Japan are saying that a few PS2 titles are having trouble being played on the super-duper (and extremely rare) PS3. Notable titles are Namco’s Tekken 5, Squenix’s Final Fantasy XI, and the awesomeness that is Guitar Hero.

Yes, you heard right. Guitar Hero’s guitar peripheral is having trouble working on the system, with some buttons being totally ignored. The world has just let out a collective “WTF!” aimed directly at Sony’s crotch.

Tekken 5 has problems running its background music properly, while Final Fantasy XI can’t register the hard-drive that the PS3 has. Sony has already planned to supply a firmware update for the hard-drive issue soon, but no word on when the other issues will be resolved, if at all. →  Read the rest

PC Gaming dead!? But it’s so young and innocent!

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In a somewhat bizarre turn of events, I’ve actually started reading a book. Yeah, I know. Simply amazing.

My friend at work let me borrow Masters of Doom, the book that details the two men that helped shape the PC gaming industry into what it is today: John Carmack and John Romero of id Software.

A very interesting part in the book was when Carmack, in only one night, recreated the first level to Super Mario Bros. 3 on a PC. For an IBM PC at the time (1990), this was an amazing feat. No PC was powerful enough to simulate the scrolling effect that Nintendo did so easily on their NES system, but Carmack created an algorithm that somehow faked the effect, calling it adaptive tile refresh. Basically, the screen changed only what needed to change, and it would be the starting point for what would later become id Software. →  Read the rest

Biggest losers in the world wait for the PS3

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According to Games Are Fun, a line for the PS3 has already formed in front of a Best Buy in Burbank, California. People have been waiting since at least Wednesday for a console that launches next Friday. If these people can afford to miss over a week of work for a PS3, can’t they just get one on eBay for $2000?

As someone who may end up waiting in a line for a Wii despite having no intentions of purchasing one, I may not have much right to insult these stupid people. If it makes a difference, I will be waiting for three hours against my will (stupid friends) and not for 216 hours.

Stop mixing my drinks

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So I was playing Final Fantasy XII for the first time when I noticed the game had a lot of concepts that look like they came from science fiction. Ships looking like they came from Star Wars fly around in the intro, shield-like barriers are being used to protect cities, that kind of stuff.

This wouldn’t really bother me that much, but it seems like regular medieval fantasy has become a lost art. Final Fantasy gradually made the transition from medieval to steampunk-esque to post-apocalyptic to an improbable-looking science fiction. I would have no problem with this transition normally — on the contrary, more science fiction RPGs would be nice too. But the story and atmosphere most of the time remain in the fantasy style. Why are people running around with swords and bows when it looks like ships – and I might’ve seen a laser once or twice – could do a lot more of the work? →  Read the rest

Sony Ram More Hard Phallic Instruments Up Britain

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It really is never ending is it? First we get told that we wont receive the PS3 until March, which I accurately predicted about a year ago (shame I didn’t put a bet on it), and now Head Honcho Harrison is refusing to tell us that we’ll be getting it for March. Which I also predicted a couple of months back. This time, I’m going to commit this prediction to the web: I reckon the PS3 won’t be released in England until November 2007. That’s right. That late. They screwed us with the PSP, and now they’re doing the same with the PS3.

When asked whether or not the console would be released in Britain and Europe for the predicted March launch window, Harrison merely said:

“It’s not my job to comment on hardware supply issues other than to say some very smart people are working very hard to catch up”

Let me rephrase that statement in to what he really wanted to say:

“I’d like to tell you that we really don’t know when the console will be out in Europe, and to be honest we really don’t care. →  Read the rest

Metacritic loves popular sites

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This may be old news to many of you, especially since they even tell you on their About page, but Metacritic weighs reviews. Meaning they count a review more or less depending on how big the site the review came from is. This seems a little shady, but they at least don’t hide the fact. Here’s what tipped me off to some sort of mathematical incongruity.

Something struck me about the math. Mostly it was how (100 + 90 + 90 + 80) /4 = 90 and not 89. If CNET owns Gamespot and CNET owns Metacritic and Metacritic favors some sites over others, and CNET has competitors…well, isn’t this a possible conflict of interests?

Gears Of War In Bilingual Shocker, And I Think I’m Developing Mental Problems

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According to some random guy hidden in the very deep dark depths of the Internet (don’t go there without rubberised protection and lots of sharp objects), Gears of War is apparently region free. His post isn’t all that informative in explaining his method of finding out, so like a good videogaming fan I must assume he is correct.

Try to skip the fact that Play-Asia blatantly tells this person that he is, in fact, wrong. As a British guy who isn’t getting the damn game for another 10 days, I’m now mulling over the possibilities of purchasing from Play-Asia on the off chance that the guy-from-the-random-website might actually be correct.

I simply can’t wait 10 days. Splinter Cell: Double Agent may be good, but this, this is something else. →  Read the rest

Matt’s Lite Impressions: Wii Edition

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Apparently the Gaming Gods have smiled upon me once again, because I got to take the Nintendo Wii out for a spin today at the Nintendo World Store in NYC.

The first floor contained 3 Wii Sports kiosks. After a very short wait, I was given the go-ahead to try out the almighty Wii. I was about to play Tennis, but remembered they had Baseball as well, so I opted to go for the all-American pastime instead. The attendee helped me get setup with the game, and strapped the Wii-mote on me with it’s sleek little hand strap.

It’s been almost a year since I first saw it, but I finally got a chance to hold the Wii-mote. First thing I noticed was that it is completely encased, both the remote and the nun-chuck, in that shiny clear plastic that is becoming a staple of Nintendo hardware these days. →  Read the rest

As long as we’ve got each other

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Kirk Cameron was once a normal B actor. Then he found Jesus. Not in the standard “knowing you’re not alone in the universe, finding comfort through God when faced with tragedy, realizing men should help each other and love thy neighbor” way, though.

No. He is now a complete nutjob who roams LA in a sports car (What Would Jesus Drive?) looking for people to call liars and thieves. When he isn’t busy accosting strangers with the good news (which is that the stranger never has to see him again), he is flexing his intellectual muscle for the camera. So far on his TV show he has proven, with the help of Ray Comfort (based only on his name, he must be an ex-pornstar), that atheists have nightmares about bananas, that the Church of Satan PR guy is much more polite than he, and that orangutans are much, much stupider than people. →  Read the rest

Geek Call to Arms!

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This is a test of the emergency geek system. Were there an actual emergency, this post would have instructions, such as:

A) A list of senator and/or congressmen to kill in order to prove that video games are not violent, and do not require legislation to control.

B) The location of a truck full of PS3’s, ripe for hijacking.

C) An announcement of a pocky shortage.

Ok, in all seriousness, I need some help. A friend of mine who is a casual PC gamer with an older computer was looking for a fun “builder style” game that would actually run on his computer. He’s not very picky, he just likes building stuff and it needs to be a year or two old so he can run it. Wandering Best Buy with him, I came up empty. →  Read the rest

Garbled nonsense that tangentially relates to adventure games

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My interest in Adventure games has waxed and waned over my gaming years. I started when I was about twelve, and while I do not remember the specific game I played first, I suspect it was something in the Kings Quest series. Something by Sierra, in any event. I eventually made my way over to the LucasArts games, and I remember especially liking Sam and Max Hit the Road and Day of the Tentacle.

In my more mature years (the past two weeks) my interest in Adventures has again waxed, and I am currently determining a plan of attack for playing some of the seminal titles in the genre. While figuring out the particulars I have played most of Grim Fandango (and plan to finish it tonight in honor of Día de los Muertos, during which all of the action takes place). →  Read the rest

The beginnings of a Culdcept addiction

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I first saw Culdcept a while back, when it was just released. The back of the box made it seem pretty interesting, but the price just wasn’t right for the game – I’d seen maybe one review and it was lukewarm at best.

The other day, though, I saw it for $10 and thought, “Perfect.” I snatched it up and I think I’ve found a new addiction.

What makes this game most interesting is, naturally, the gameplay. It’s perfectly suited to the card-collecting aspects of Magic: The Gathering (or pick your favorite new CCG), while it retains some of the feel of classic board games like Monopoly. The artwork on the cards reinforces the former, while the cartoony feel on the game board complements the latter.

If you’ve played Monopoly and Magic: The Gathering, this is somewhat of a combination. →  Read the rest

Oh, Aren’t You an Adorable Little VG Cat!

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If anyone has paid attention to Joystiq’s weekly WebComic Wrap-up, you’d no doubt run into a comic named VG Cats. I love this webcomic. The style is great, and the humor is right on key. The guy doesn’t go too deep into the whole video game lore thing (there’s a lot of Zelda and Final Fantasy VII commentary), so you don’t have to get out your Ultimate Videolamer’s Guide to Everything About Gaming and Dating(tm) to understand it.

He’s got 215 comics on his site, and most of them are hilarious. If you were looking for a great comic strip on video games, you can do no wrong with VG Cats.

And before I get bullied, I will say that I also love Penny Arcade. Those guys are great, but I prefer VG Cats’ continuous commentary on video games. →  Read the rest

Nintendo’s new ad campaign

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Nintendo knows that simply marketing their Wii console with standard ads would not take full advantage of the system’s propaganda potential. To tap into the marketing power of the system’s gimmick, they have begun releasing what they call life style ads. Writers at other gaming sites (who specialize in games and not advertising) have ignorantly mocked these ads as bad Gap knock offs. Little do they realize that Nintendo’s life style shots are what the company needs to appeal to a host of demographics traditionally not interested in video games. Study the following six photos for a minute and see if you can identify the demographic they capture before scrolling down to the answer.

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Demographic: Interracial couples who don’t understand that not all controllers sense motion

People who don’t understand new technology need new technology, too. →  Read the rest