Month: July 2006

Review – Super Smash Brothers Melee

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Down and Out: Super Smash Brothers Melee and the glory that is the KO

If Luigi doesn’t come down from there he’s going to miss the orgy.

Oh, 2D fighting games. At first glance, they seem like the wet dreams of nine year-old video game enthusiasts: smashing a whole bunch of buttons will result in smorgasbord of pain and, with a bit of luck, embarrassment for the poor sap from down the street who always comes over because he doesn’t have the coolest system. But after a while, the whole genre seems, well played out. Sure, the numerous Capcom games where various X-Men or Marvel characters fight against obscure characters from every single game Capcom has ever released ever (US or Japan) may be fun for a while, but they quickly lose their spark. →  Some say the world will end in fire, some say in read more

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Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 7.14.06

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Phil Harrison doesn’t think Sony is arrogant
Phil is one of my (many) mortal enemies and it just so happens I compiled some of his best quotes and posted them right here. He may be more talented, successful, and smell less than I, but he is still a douche bag. You see, I don’t lie in public. And when I do, it’s just posted on a tiny little site no one gives a shit about. My lies reach dozens of people, his reach possibly millions. He also makes a lot more.

Violent crime may not pay, but amorality seems to be the road to success (fine, so lying for your employer may be immoral, not amoral. But if he is willing to kill for Sony, then perhaps he is amoral. →  Apply directly to the forehead.

Review – Devil May Cry

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Now that I look back, a lot of action games from the N64/Playstation era were trash. Most involved rudimentary combos, bad controls, and unnecessary platforming elements. They weren’t good at taking advantage of 3d, and looked ugly as sin to boot. You were better off finding a copy of Final Fight or Contra if you wanted a polished action experience.

Even today, it isn’t hard to see why those classic 2d action games were, and still are, so damn good. They realized the importance of simple, precise control that gave the player all the tools they needed to succeed against the onslaught of enemies. Victory required the player to keep a cool head among the chaos, and to find enemies’ weaknesses by recognizing patterns. Easy to learn, difficult to master, the satisfaction of completing a good action game was often unrivaled. →  Is that an article in your pants, or are you just happy to read me?

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The Propaganda Project: Phil Harrison

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Phil Harrison — Executive Vice President, Sony Computer Entertainment

A Brit who comes off worse in writing than person.

(For an explanation of what this article is, please read this.)
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Bitchy comments
“Nintendo knows its target audience, because it has really narrowed that down; and it’s pretty much defined by a boy or girl’s ability to admire Pokemon.”

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“The idea of a handheld rivalry with Nintendo is an irrelevance, those formats don’t appear in our planning. It’s not a fair comparison; not fair on them, I should stress. That sounds arrogant, maybe, but it’s the truth.”

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Something the PS2 was widely criticized for – and which Microsoft in particular has played up very much – is being extremely hard to develop for. How does PS3 compare in that respect? →  Your right post comes off?

The Propaganda Project: Introduction

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This project will seem unnecessary to many. It’s taken for granted that PR people don’t always tell the truth or say intelligent things, and actively worship Satan (probably). I, unfortunately, am still not numb to stupid things. Misleading statements, half truths, and arrogance still piss me off. Perhaps I overreact, but maybe people with six digit salaries would stop saying stupid things if the public called them out more often.

I have compiled a large body of research on each of the key figures in the three competing hardware giants. Not all fill explicitly PR roles. In fact, most of the people profiled have titles that indicate they should be doing something better with their time than insulting their competitors. Most of the sources for my research are interviews these important figures have given with game and business magazines and websites; sources are listed at the end of each profile. →  Holy crap, show me more!

Review – Kingdom Hearts

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I’m not sure why Jay asked me to review Kingdom Hearts. The game is fairly old by now, and just about everyone who wanted to play it already has. Then there’s the fact that the sequel has been out for months. Looks like I’m a little late to the party, but I still intend to crash it.

Kingdom Hearts is a perfectly mediocre game. At its best it was a lighthearted diversion, one that I could play while enjoying my then-girlfriend’s company while not having to think too hard about it. At its worst it was a mess of poorly implemented design choices based on typical Square drudgery and messy, stolen scraps from the Book of Miyamoto. If I had any care for in game stories, I probably wouldn’t have finished, as the game takes Disney characters and plots and compresses them into dull, mediocre shells of their former selves that are more offensive than enjoyable. →  Hell is other gamers.

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What Loco Roco has to teach us about Sony

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Sony has defined itself as high-tech. The Playstation bested the Saturn at producing the new graphical style sweeping the nation(s) – 3D. The PS2 had an emotional processor that would listen to your washing machines personal problems and keep your whole house in harmony. And the PS3 is a gourmet meal that makes all other systems look like that Chinese buffet that gave you food poisoning last summer.

A brilliant strategy for Sony. In a broad sense, the industry is entirely dependant on technology so it seems to follow that the company with the best technology will triumph. Wait, these consoles can play games, too?

Well, that changes everything. The PSP, Sony’s super powerful handheld, is being trounced in Japan by an inferior system that can’t play movies and doesn’t even use an optical format. →  Theme Postital

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 7.7.06

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Japanese game market doing better
The market is up 33% in the first half of the 2006. Unsurprisingly, Nintendo played a large role. While I prepare the next news point, you pick one of the two following arguments:

– The Japanese game market is being revitalized by innovation. The success of the DS is a sure sign that the Wii will do well in Japan.

– The Japanese game market is being revitalized by handhelds. This does not mean their interest in consoles will pick up.

Ok, now find a friend who picked the argument you didn’t. Found someone? Excellent, now debate.

“Damn, I really need to shave my head and lose some weight.”

Microsoft’s iPod killer coming this Christmas
Funny, MS Word doesn’t recognize iPod as a word. A lot of powerful companies have gone up against Apple and none have taken the portable MP3 player market from them. →  Your right post comes off?

Street Fighter Alpha 3

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Street Fighter Alpha 3 is considered by the majority to be the pinnacle of the series, and is very often called the best Street Fighter game in existence. It certainly is the most popular, having been ported to four consoles and two handhelds since the days of the Saturn, and is usually the recipient of the highest scores among Capcom fighters.

My own obsessive collecting of 2d fighters over the last five years can be directly attributed to the day a good friend of mine brought it over for an afternoon. It was the first time I had sat down with a 2d fighter since the old days when I rented Super Street Fighter 2 on the SNES once a month. Things had certainly changed since then. The super combos, the beautiful sprites, the multitude of backgrounds… Alpha 3 showed me that the genre still had a lot to offer. →  I’ll get a job later, for now I’m going to read this

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Street Fighter Alpha 2

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Much like you can tell that Alpha 1 was a rush job, so too can you see that Alpha 2 is the game that Capcom intended to make all along. The select screen is eerily similar, while the segues and sounds between fights are identical. The same core cast remains, while the few additions to the roster (which is now 18 strong) are careful and deliberate (spunky little Sakura makes her debut here, while classic characters Dhalsim and Zangief make a return). Tweaks and improvements make the combat deeper, faster and less obtuse. Capcom has even gone so far as to declare that the story of Alpha 2 replaces the one in Alpha as official canon in the SF universe.

SFA 2 makes its predecessor just about obsolete, and represents one side of the Alpha coin (the other side being A3 of course). →  Theme Postital