Japan

Faxanadu and Crystalis

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I’d like to bring a couple of old games to your attention. To me, these games pioneered the Action/RPG genre, which sadly has not received the attention it deserves.

First on the list is Faxanadu. An offshoot of the Dragon Slayer series in Japan (of which we received Faxanadu and Legacy of the Wizard), Faxanadu has much in the way of fantasy stereotypes: your character is an elf, and your mission is to make your way to the World Tree and track down those crazy dwarves who keep shutting off the elves’ water supply (thereby bringing about the deterioration of the world, etc, etc).

Although the plot is there, it is not particularly interesting. The important part is that you keep exploring, crossing vast expanses of diverse terrain, and you fight whatever gets in your way with magic, swords, and items. As an early Action RPG, there isn’t any particular way to make your character better at magic or melee combat; you just use whatever amount of each you see fit. →  Now bear my arctic post.

Review – Guitar Hero 2

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You know the feeling of excitement you got as a child trying to sleep on Christmas Eve? That’s the feeling I got waiting for Guitar Hero 2. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t anticipating this game as much as the new Zelda. I don’t think I’m alone, either. With Guitar Hero 1 selling a million copies since its release, there are plenty of wannabe rockers out there who are ready to rip it up all over again. Now the wait is over. No longer do we have to settle for Youtube videos of schmucks who got access to the ten song industry demo laying it down for us. Guitar Hero 2 is here. Are you ready?

You damn well better be, because this sequel waits for no one. The word of the day here is “challenge,” as Guitar Hero 2 challenges both its players and the competition. For as much as this is a routine sequel, it’s also put together quite unlike any other game in the music/rhythm genre. →  Frankly my dear, I don’t read a damn.

Enough with the androgynous characters

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Team Ninja is obsessed with breasts. This happens to be an obsession most American men (and women) share. Game after game, Tecmo and many other publishers give us girls that make Dolly Parton look prepubescent. Most thoughtful gamers (or prudes) have already declared this tendency absurd, or at least unrealistic.

Arguing that Team Ninja should be neutered is a position that is seen as pro-women and inclusive. Call Final Fantasy characters effeminate, on the other hand, and you invite accusations of homophobia and narrow-mindedness. Before I justify my stance on the character design of Final Fantasy games and many other Japanese titles, let me first establish what I mean when I say the art is effeminate.

Squall from Final Fantasy VIII looking coy in his furry coat is a good example. Notice how pretty his hair is and his elegant stud earring.

Tidus from Final Fantasy X leaning back, his hair wet, almost exploding in orgasm. What beautiful porcelain skin.

Someone from Final Fantasy XII with a rounded face, thick, pouty lips and beautiful skin. →  Lose belly fat now!

Numbers are fun!

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In the course of doing my job, I managed to stumble across some information about the stocks of video game companies. Turns out a Bloomberg terminal is a worthwhile investment (when I am not paying for it) after all. Basically, I am now able to put numbers (which will not be precise, since there may be some intellectual property rights at issue) next to musings such as “It seems the DS is selling a lot of unit,” or “What happened to the PSP, are there any games?” Please beware the frequent use of parenthetical statements (such as this one: DS = original DS + DS Lite).

Something that needs to be understood about the way traditional financial statistics apply to the video game industry (and entertainment media generally) is that there is a “round peg, square hole” problem. Most statistics (total sales for example) are calculated on a Year over Year basis. If Nintendo sold 100 games in October 2005 and 110 games last month that represents 10% growth in YoY sales. →  Disaster Readport

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 11.17.06

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Sony losing money on each PS3 sold
Selling consoles at a loss is nothing new; it nearly put Sega out of business. But selling a console for a loss of $240 or $300? Those are some big numbers, especially considering Microsoft and Nintendo are making profit on each console they sell. There are a few ways to look at Sony’s situation.

Now if the PS3 had looked like this, it would be worth the money.

The optimistic person would say, “Sony are giving us an awesome bargain and we should thank them by paying homeless people to wait in line for a PS3.” The pessimist would say, “If I want to play PS3 games, I’m forced to buy a friggin super computer with a disc drive that costs over $100 tacked on so they can get a leg up on the upcoming format war.” The realist would say, “Damn, Sony may take a beating.” The sarcastic realist would say, “Damn, Sony may take a beating, but at least the rest of the company is doing well.” →  What is word? Baby don’t read me.

Yet another peculiar top 10 list

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Slightly (extremely) bitter about not having my stories picked up by the big sites, I scour Slashdot, Kotaku, etc for sub par stories that gets attention on a daily basis. Today’s highlight is a top 10 list (where’d they get the idea for this one?) on the “10 lamest game consoles, ever.” Ignore the fiery rage that builds within you when you see misplaced commas and other grammar atrocities. For now, focus on the gross injustice of including the Saturn amongst the Virtual Boy, CDi, 32X and N-Gage.

The guy who proclaimed Prince of Persia: Warrior Within one of the worst games of all time clearly had some input in forming this list. Please name for me the classics for the consoles on this list:

Action Max
N Gage
32X
Gizmondo

In turn, I will name amazing Saturn games: Guardian Heroes, NiGHTS, Panzer Dragoon, Panzer Dragoon Zwei, Panzer Dragoon Saga, Shining Force 3, Dragon Force, and Bomberman. This excludes Japanese games and any fighting games (Christian would have to help me there). →  All the lonely gamers, where do they all come from?

Random PS3-related News:11/13

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Here’s a few things that are going on in the world of Playstation 3 today:

PS3 Backwards Compatibility Less Than Stellar
Reports coming out of Japan are saying that a few PS2 titles are having trouble being played on the super-duper (and extremely rare) PS3. Notable titles are Namco’s Tekken 5, Squenix’s Final Fantasy XI, and the awesomeness that is Guitar Hero.

Yes, you heard right. Guitar Hero’s guitar peripheral is having trouble working on the system, with some buttons being totally ignored. The world has just let out a collective “WTF!” aimed directly at Sony’s crotch.

Tekken 5 has problems running its background music properly, while Final Fantasy XI can’t register the hard-drive that the PS3 has. Sony has already planned to supply a firmware update for the hard-drive issue soon, but no word on when the other issues will be resolved, if at all.

Unbelievably, PS2 hardware is actually in a PS3. The backwards compatibility is not based on emulation software. →  Hot Shots Post 3

A brief survey of localiztions

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Ever since the first text-based game came from Japan to American shores, those playing have wondered, “What did the original text say?”

…Well, I have, at least since I was old enough to tell the difference between “A winner is you” and real English. Hearing about and playing odd translations of games is a bit of a hobby of mine.

Thankfully, translations in general are getting much better. Voice acting is much, much better than it has been in the past, although it can still use some work. Let’s look at some localizations past and present as evidence.

Good Localizations

These games leave you with a good feel for spirit of the game. They rarely if ever have grammatical problems, and if there is any voice acting it is well-produced. The story has a feel that is consistent throughout the game. Some older games’ translations have been good, too, but here are two recent examples.

Clearly translated by a native English speaker.

 →  Theme Postital

Review – King of Fighters 2006

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Beat King of Fighters 2006 on story mode, and you will see the name Falcoon pop up several times, in many important positions. If you are at all familiar with SNK, you might have heard it pop up in discussions from time to time. Is he a gaming auteur, like Kojima or Miyamoto? Is it SNK’s bold new leader?

Not quite. The truth is that the man is just a fan artist that was hired by SNK a few years back, and was somehow given the reigns to the KOF: Maximum Impact series, arguably the most important thing they have going for them right now. KOF 2006 (which is really Maximum Impact 2 with a new name) actually answers the question of “if you put a fan in charge of their favorite game, what will you get?”

But what am I saying? This makes it sound as if the game is a trainwreck. In fact, it is a fantastic sequel, one that is bigger and better than anything the original had to offer. →  Call me game-shmael.

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 11.3.06

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Halo movie indefinitely stalled
That a Peter Jackson backed Halo movie probably won’t get made despite the fact that Uwe Boll continually releases game based movies is beyond hilarious. Clearly, if there is a god he is evil, or maybe he just has a great sense of humor.

A scene from the upcoming Castlevania movie.

Castlevania movie coming
Odds are, this movie will be slightly better than Van Helsing. The problem is that Van Helsing is solidly on “so bad it’s good” ground, and so Castlevania, by being better, will be worse. Castlevania’s only hope is to be crappier than Van Helsing (or actually good, but let’s not get crazy) and therefore better. This all makes sense, right?

PS3 launching in Hong Kong and Taiwan on November 17
As an American, it is my god given right to believe I am more important than any damn foreigner. Ergo, screw these stupid countries. We should be receiving their batches of PS3s. As a gamer, it’s good to see these markets opening up. →  Read Dead Redemption