Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 11.3.06

Halo movie indefinitely stalled
That a Peter Jackson backed Halo movie probably won’t get made despite the fact that Uwe Boll continually releases game based movies is beyond hilarious. Clearly, if there is a god he is evil, or maybe he just has a great sense of humor.

A scene from the upcoming Castlevania movie.

Castlevania movie coming
Odds are, this movie will be slightly better than Van Helsing. The problem is that Van Helsing is solidly on “so bad it’s good” ground, and so Castlevania, by being better, will be worse. Castlevania’s only hope is to be crappier than Van Helsing (or actually good, but let’s not get crazy) and therefore better. This all makes sense, right?

PS3 launching in Hong Kong and Taiwan on November 17
As an American, it is my god given right to believe I am more important than any damn foreigner. Ergo, screw these stupid countries. We should be receiving their batches of PS3s. As a gamer, it’s good to see these markets opening up. One day they may produce many a good game.

Fewer PS3s in Japan than planned
Hmm, I wonder where Japan’s PS3s are going.

E3’s successor not called E4
But rather the GamePro Expo. I’d have named it the GamePro Super Show Expo Show 3699. Apparently, it may be in the same space as the old E3, will be about as big as the old E3, and will basically be the old E3. Will the publishers who complained about the old E3 end up coming to the GamePro Super Show Expo Show 3699? Will the new show have rules demanding all women wear two piece outfits and fellate at least six random men every hour? We’ll have to wait to see.

Dozens (3.33 to be almost exact) of PS3 downloadable games in the works
When Nintendo first revealed they’d have a bunch of Wii channels, I immediately bitched and moaned that game companies should focus their resources on making games and stop wasting time and money on extraneous crap.

Sony has announced that they are funding and publishing 40 downloadable games for the PS3. So does my complaint about Nintendo apply to this, too? I’m not sure. They are at least spending their money on games, but if I’m shelling out $600 for a PS3 (which I’m not) I expect all of Sony’s attention to go towards making fully fledged PS3 games. The resources spent on these games could have gone towards making 20 “real” games.

Sony, via Phil “I’m a total asshole” Harrison, has also made it clear that they will not “be restricted by ghettoising games into a particular genre, or a particular display mechanic, because what we’ve seen on other systems tend to be retro 2D games…” Gee, Sony down on 2d? Never thought I’d see the day…

I read that if you put in two discs at the same time, you get a super secret Zelda bonus level.

DiiViiDii Wii in Japan
Who doesn’t have at least 36 DVD players? Maybe people in third world countries, but they should probably focus on procuring food and being forced off of their farmland in order to work in American run factories. The news of a DVD playing Wii has some people up in arms because Nintendo has no plans to release it outside of Japan, but it all seems pretty irrelevant to me. There is plenty of other actually bad Nintendo news to focus on (that I’ll hopefully be discussing in an upcoming article).

Dumb people wait outside to buy consoles
Maybe I don’t really love video games, but any one who waits outside overnight to do anything other than to have sex is a complete fool. Crazed fandom in all its form is stupid. Whether it’s camping out to see a movie, dressing up like your favorite super hero (on days that aren’t Halloween) or going bat shit crazy for a teen heartthrob. Think of how much better the world would be now if someone had dropped a building on all of those insane screaming Beatles fans. Peoples’ ability to get so worked up by something so ultimately insignificant is very unsettling. Show dedication to your spouse, children and possibly friends, not the Wii and PS3.

PS3, an American at heart, consumes like there’s no tomorrow
Most people think it’s silly to use the PS3’s power consumption as a point against the system. This is exactly why we are now facing possible dire consequences from global warming. It’s very admirable that Nintendo has made the Wii energy efficient and an odd reality that the industrial world doesn’t consider power consumption to be of any importance. Even in strictly economic terms, the PS3 will not just cost more than the other consoles but continue to cost more day in and day out.

Since I’m a terrible human being in every other way, I might as well do my best to lessen my negative impact on the planet. Of course, if I really cared that much I wouldn’t be on my computer typing this right now, I’d be farming soy beans and protesting the ruthless slaughter of millions of bacteria by unfeeling human immune systems. Maybe one day I’ll get there, but for now I’ll just not buy a PS3.

Why, it looks kind of like…Fable.

Dragon Age cometh
I’ve been psyched about this game for a long time. How can a spiritual successor to Baldur’s Gate (the real BG, not those stupid action RPGs. Yes, Tony, I’m talking to you) possibly be bad? It probably won’t be, but these details are slightly worrying. First, the camera position is very low to the ground and behind the character’s back. This doesn’t seem to encourage party based strategy.

Secondly, I’m skeptical any time a story is labeled “dark.” Grown up is good because it implies issues of ethics and mortality, but dark usually just means someone gets raped or eaten while bad heavy metal plays in the background (see the Prince of Persia games for at least some of this). Bioware and Interplay already make/made grown up games so the promise of a much darker story line is a little odd.

Thirdly, the ability to duck between large monster’s legs sounds cool…for an action game. A party based strategic RPG that allows such action elements is risky. There is a limit even to my desire to micromanage so I hope any action in the game will be automatic (as opposed to clicking “move here,” “duck,” “roll between legs,” “stand up,” “turn around,” etc).