Blog

Message to Ebert: You and me, flagpole, afterschool

by

I used to be a pretty big fan of Roger Ebert, especially when he had that show with Gene Siskel (yeah, the bald guy). But now, after hearing his second rant on how video games can’t be art, I think I’m gonna have to take him off of my “cool motha fuckas” list. Sucks to be him, I guess:)

Anyway, on his personal blog, Roger Ebert came out and explained what he meant earlier on how games can’t be art. Amazingly, he corrects himself on the issue by saying:

“Anything can be art. Even a can of Campbell’s soup. What I should have said is that games could not be high art, as I understand it.”

So, video games can be art, but not the good kind. →  All the lonely gamers, where do they all belong?

Quick Rant on Software

by

Civilization 4: Beyond the Sword is out. Unfortunately, I’m traveling and was unable to get it yet. But a quick swing by Civfanatics shows that there of course has already been an initial patch to the game, because the shipped version was buggy and terrible.

I know Firaxis is not the first (or last) developer to do this. I know that it’s a common practice. But it pisses me off that the internet age has led to such a terrible degradation in the quality of PC game QA. On the one hand, it is great that software developers can add content through patching. It’s nice that they can fix bugs that sneak through. But shipping what’s basically unplayable crap, knowing full well you can, and will patch it, is sloppy and inexcusable. →  Look upon my works, ye mighty, and read!

Tale of the Tape

by

This could be interesting. Lawsuit between Silicon Knights and Epic Games. Possible SNAFUs with the Unreal 3 engine. The perfect recipe for speculation, drama, and endless blogs and articles.

Its also the perfect opportunity for violence. Who here wouldn’t want to see a fight between Epic’s Mark Rein and SK’s Dennis Dyack? Both are loudmouths for their respective companies, fellas who won’t stop gushing about their own product, but rarely have anything nice to say about anything else. I think it would be the best way to settle this issue, especially if it means one of them gets knocked out for a couple of months.

But wait – we can make it better. Lets just do the whole thing WWF style. →  Tony Hawk’s Posting Ground

Second verse same as the first?

by

So hey, Peter Moore is leaving Microsoft for Electronic Arts. When have we seen this before? Dreamcast gamers will remember when the chump left Sega in the days of the console’s waning to go to MS, and that he was influential in the canceling of Shenmue 2 in favor of an Xbox port.

I remember reading a very angry IGN forum post years ago, in which an avid Sega fan went over all the stupid things that Moore was responsible for. While I don’t remember any of it, I do remember it being convincing enough to give me a permanently sour taste for the man. During his time with MS friends would try to convince me that Moore was actually a pretty good industry power, but even as he slapped crazy tattoos on his arm he still bugged the shit out of me. →  Readbot Chronicles

Odin Sphere: not drinking the kool-aid

by

Odin Sphere was released to a slew of rave reviews. Several called it the best PS2 RPG in years, and game forums everywhere were filled with topics full of praise.

A couple weeks ago I convinced myself I should try it out. And, in fact, for a while it was impressive. The graphics are quite nice, the voice options are great, and the story is enjoyable. The game is quite smooth, and controls pretty well.

You’ll notice I left out the actual system behind the game. It felt okay for the first couple hours. I figured I’d get used to it, and that soon enough I’d be planting Muggles and Napples in the heat of battle with the best of them. →  Sly 3: Honor Among Reads

Sony at E3 – slightly less terrible than the competition?

by

Max has been kind enough to fill in for Jay on covering the Sony press conference. When not reading videolamer, he runs the excellent website GameLemon.

I’ve already bitched elsewhere on this fine site about Sony’s presentation skills, but that little rant was small and only mildly satisfying, so I am going to say it again: Sony, please, for chrissakes, hire some presenters that are at least remotely cool and entertaining, and forbid your executives from ever appearing in public. I am sure they are all fine people and very important to the business, but they couldn’t excite a crowd worth a crap even if their bonus depended it.

Next, fire the idiots who wrote the script for the presentation. →  What is word? Baby don’t read me.

PSP 1.1 – Worst. Update. Ever.

by

If there was one thing that I wanted to see at this year’s E3, it was the new PSP. I was dying to see what Sony had up their sleeves. I was especially looking forward to the much-requested hard-drive that was rumored to be included. But what did Sony do? Crushed my frail little dreams, that’s what. And they didn’t even apologize! Totally inconsiderate.

So, instead of an 8GB hard-drive, we get a faster UMD drive, a more efficient battery, a thinner and lighter casing, and a video-out connection. Yup, that’s it. And even worse, the damn thing looks exactly the same!

Now, I will say the ability to display the feed on a TV is a pretty cool feature, but when compared to how insignificant everything else is, having a video-out option isn’t a good enough reason to upgrade from the old PSP. →  Lamers so loved the world that they gave their only article, so that everyone who believes in reading won’t perish but will have eternal lives.

Nintendo’s E3 conference also sucks

by

Nintendo’s E3 presentation was as bad as Microsoft. Had they not announced release dates of games I want, I’d probably say worse. Highlights:

– Bragging
– Charts
– Release dates
– Montages
– Charts
– Wii Zapper, which will come with a game (how about a game that comes with the zapper instead of a zapper that comes with a shitty after thought of a pack in?)
– Mario Kart coming early next year with online races and a stupid plastic steering wheel. Also with the new feature of “skill not mattering” that levels the playing field for all new gamers
– Charts
– Bad puns
– Montages
– High School Musical, the amazing game based off of the movie of the same name
– Wii Fit, complete with Wii Pad to Wii stand on

I thought Reggie was supposed to not suck. →  SaGa Frontier Readmastered

Microsoft E3 Presentation – Disney movies on Live!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by

Boy did Microsoft’s E3 presentation bore me. Here were the highlights:

– Disney movies coming to Xbox Live
– Short trailers for some good games including Resident Evil 5, Lost Odyssey, GTA4 and the new Call of Duty
– Sales spin – the 360 is expanding the video game market by leaps and bounds
– G4 cutting away during important moments and generally confirming they are actually a local college station
– Many new Live Arcade games
– Scene It, the boring board game, now coming to the 360 complete with easy to use controller for grandma
– Jeff Bell proving there is no God simply by existing
– New grayish green 360 to celebrate Halo 3
– Speech on how awesome MSs third party support is that ignored that Japan largely ignores MS
– Gears of War coming to the PC
– OMFG Disney movies!!!11 →  Imagine all the gamers playing for today

A plea

by

Yes, a bit of a plea in this semi-E3 season, which will quickly lead into the pre-holiday hype season. To all internet dwelling gamers and game journalists:

1) Please do not use the term SKU anymore. You aren’t retail managers or inventory workers. Did the words “Model” and “version” go stale or something? Or are you just trying to sound smart about an area of the industry you don’t know?

2) Please stop analyzing teaser trailers of games. You’ll get them in your hands sooner or later. Weren’t you all telling me that GTA was great for its sandbox gameplay? And now you’re analyzing every bit and piece of the new one to find out about the story and characters? Have we all just become bipolar or something? →  Welcome to read.