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Halo Gamer Fuel

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Time for videolamer’s required report on Mountain Dew Gamer Fuel, the Pepsi/Halo 3 soda tie in that surprised no one but me (seriously, I had no idea about this until I walked into Safeway yesterday). However, unlike every other report you will read, I am actually going to try the damn stuff instead of giving you the typical proto-Internet nerd speech about how all soda is junk, caffeine is a sad addiction, and how dare you actually drink Mountain Dew and reinforce nerd stereotypes that no one actually pays attention to.

First things first – I’m not sure why Gamer Fuel is out now. I mean, isn’t Halo 3 due at the end of September? And if this is supposed to be fuel for our late night Halo tournaments, then shouldn’t we expect to see this soda on the shelves until at least mid October? →  Is that an article in your pants, or are you just happy to read me?

Brawl Web site reveals completely new material

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As some of you may have noticed, the official Smash Bros. Brawl website finally unveiled completely new material last week.

First off was the new character, Ike, from Fire Emblem. Ike comes without any warning whatsoever – although I’m hoping to see a lot more interesting and varied characters, I’m happy enough that they announced Ike suddenly – it implies there could be more announcements of this sort.

As a character, Ike sounds most like Roy. Some complain that Roy and Marth were too similar in Melee – Ike will only add to these complaints if both of the others return – but I disagree, as Roy and Marth play quite differently, despite how much their moves look alike. I think they can vary Ike’s move style considerably – wielding a two-handed sword, he might actually have more reach than either. →  This better not be as bad as everything else here.

Multiplayer Worlds of Ass aka Why Tyson Does Not Play MMORPGs

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The list of MMORPGs I have played reads like a high school kid’s job resume; lots of wasted time in short month long bursts. Historically, there have been only two MMORPGs that I have played for a period longer than one month, City of Heroes and Everquest. Even with those two games, I stopped playing after about four or five months. I just can’t stay interested or even begin to get interested in most MMORPGs. I do not think this is my problem though, the fault lies at the feet of online role-playing game creators and the inherent issues that come with the games themselves.

South Park really summed up most MMORPGs when it spoofed the amazingly popular yet spectacularly idiotic World of Warcraft. →  Welcome to the Fantasy Zone.

Dragon Questing yet again?

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By now you might have heard the news about Dragon Quest 4, 5 and 6 being remade for the DS. Unsurprisingly, the news is being met with joy more than disgust, because unlike with the constant Final Fantasy remakes, two of these three games have yet to see even one western release.

But with all the celebration comes a sad but true joke that many in the community have made; we probably won’t see these Stateside unless Square can conjure up more Final Fantasy demos. After all the care and attention DQ8 got in its localization, the game sold rather dismally, at least compared to FF12. While RPG fans embraced it, the franchise still doesn’t have the mass appeal that FF has outside of Japan, thus they may not find it worthwhile to get these localized. →  Imagine all the gamers playing for today

Matt recommends: Final Fantasy X OST

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In a new column that I just randomly created 7 seconds ago (and one that I’ll probably never return to), I am going to recommend a video game OST that you should listen to, either by purchasing said OST or… you know, “buying it on the Internet,” whatever that means.

So, for my first one evar, I’m going to suggest Squeenix’s Final Fantasy X. Most of you probably had your toes curl the moment you read that last sentence, but hear me out. I know it can’t come close to either Final Fantasy VI or VII’s soundtrack (which is debatable, I might add), but the musical selections that are found in the FFX OST are still some of the best songs you can find in the gaming industry. →  Post of Tsushima

Hey, did you hear!? GTA IV got delayed!

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Take-Two is not having a good 2007, let me tell you. First, Manhunt 2 is officially banned from Planet Earth, and now Grand Theft Auto IV, the remaining jewel in TT’s crown, has been delayed until Q2 2008 (which means some unknown date between February and April of next year).

Wait, did you hear that? Shhhhh. Omigod, my wallet just breathed! He’s alive! Oh thank goodness! I thought he was a goner, what with Assassin’s Creed, Halo 3, and Haze all coming out at the same time this holiday season. There there, little buddy, everything’s gonna be alright…

Asked on why GTA IV was delayed, thereby destroying what little stock Take-Two has left in its shattered and curly-tailed piggy bank, Take-Two’s Chairman Strauss Zelnick stated “certain elements of development proved to be more time-intensive than expected.” →  What is a post? A miserable little pile of secrets.

EGM – Embarrassing Gaming Mess

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You’ll be proud of me folks – I skimmed through a copy of EGM this morning while dropping off my car. It was really nice because it helped me realize that 1up.com is the funniest website on the internet.

Why? Because every time I read a blog comment there that gets all excited for EGM, or praises EGM for its content, I will be able to laugh my ass off and brighten up my day.

I don’t know where to begin. Maybe I should start with the faux-vintage pixelated logo and article headers that I believe are supposed to convey a sense of “harcore”iness to readers of the magazine about its staff. Kind of like a sprite comic, I guess.

Or maybe I should go into detail about the complete lack of detail on some games, which get no more than a screen and half a paragraph near the beginning of the magazine. →  Shining Post: Legacy of Great intention

Final Fantasy Tactics to be retranslated

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A recent announcement by Square-Enix has left more than a few people amazed. The least surprising bit, probably, was that we would be receiving the PSP remake of Final Fantasy Tactics.

Somewhat more surprising was the fact that the game would be retranslated. Now… the original PSX translation of Tactics isn’t all bad. But it does suffer from a lack of editing (such as the mission where you were to “Kill Dycedarg’s older brother”), and is a bit awkward from time to time.

For all the game’s fans, however, this is a godsend. It’s a remake of a game that doesn’t try to go too far – it adds a few aspects, some new characters, et cetera – so if it were the same translation there would be more debate over whether or not to get it. →  Read Band 2

If you drop a penny from the Empire State Building

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Penny Arcade showed more clips of their game at Comic Con. Being a daily PA reader since 2001, I feel I have a bit of a right to criticize them for what I saw, and this in turn will please the rest of the readers and staff.

If you didn’t see the trailer, they are making a jRPG – possibly filled with long scenes of dialogue, and turn based combat where characters move back to their starting position after attacking. Watching the clips was like watching youtube videos of Final Fantasy, and we all know that’s no fun unless you’re watching spoilers.

I should have seen this coming. Over the years the PA fellas have been playing more and more jRPGs, and at some point Gabe actually complained about the loss of ATB in FF12. →  Are anyone else’s nipples hard?

Nintendo to the future, “Emulate this!”

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This morning while showering I thought about the usual – video games. Specifically, I thought about the article we did on DS games and how some people reacted by saying the PSP is backwards compatible with every old console someone wrote an emulator for. After mulling over the pros and cons of that argument, I spent some time pondering the future of emulation and something struck me. Unless motion control and touch control become ubiquitous, the DS and Wii will not be emulatable by anyone not willing to put in huge amounts of effort.

Nintendo has always had a particularly strong fear of piracy. Primarily because CDs are so easily duplicated, Nintendo gave the N64 a cart slot. For the same reason, they burned Gamecube games onto mini-DVDs. →  In the beginning games created the heavens and the earth.