Halo Gamer Fuel

Time for videolamer’s required report on Mountain Dew Gamer Fuel, the Pepsi/Halo 3 soda tie in that surprised no one but me (seriously, I had no idea about this until I walked into Safeway yesterday). However, unlike every other report you will read, I am actually going to try the damn stuff instead of giving you the typical proto-Internet nerd speech about how all soda is junk, caffeine is a sad addiction, and how dare you actually drink Mountain Dew and reinforce nerd stereotypes that no one actually pays attention to.

First things first – I’m not sure why Gamer Fuel is out now. I mean, isn’t Halo 3 due at the end of September? And if this is supposed to be fuel for our late night Halo tournaments, then shouldn’t we expect to see this soda on the shelves until at least mid October? That would mean this promo should last well over two months, and I can’t remember any food tie-in with that kind of longetivity. Hell, I’ll be surprised if Gamer Fuel is still on the shelves after Labor Day. Seems like Pepsi jumped the gun.

Second, you can tell that this promotion probably exists mostly for Pepsi to test a new flavor of Dew, now that Code Red seems to be dead. While I’m all for this, it seems really weird that a game with a Green armored hero, on a console that boasts plenty of green colors, is not being sponsored by regular green Mountain Dew. Instead we have a red-orange (or is it orange-red?) concoction to keep us up after fifty rounds of Team Slayer.

Now on to more important things. The 2-liter’s label features a large image of Master Chief, looking as if he is about to grab you by the arms and rip them off if you don’t try his fucking soda right now. I know it worked on me. Aside from that, the packaging shows that this is one the most useless promos ever. There doesn’t seem to be any sort of contest or sweepstakes going along with this flavor. There isn’t even anything that says “Play Halo 3 on September 25th, only on Xbox 360!” I mean come on Pepsi; I’m used to seeing Barney and Fred on my Fruity Pebbles, but Chief shouldn’t be able to just stroll onto a can of Dew like he owns the place. Give your marketing push a little more push.

And how does it taste? Surprisingly good! It really is just Code Red with some artificial berry flavor, but damn does that berry give it the kick it needs. Maybe it is just the novelty, but I couldn’t stop drinking the stuff. I’m starting to think that if you put enough sugar in anything I’ll drink it. Wait, no – I’m still trying to acquire a taste for sweet tea.

So there you have it folks. Grab a twelve pack of Gamer Fuel just to say you’ve tried it. Then keep drinking it; Master Chief needs a new pair of shoes.

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