Articles

An E3 for the proletariat: Impressions Part 3

by

I’ve always wanted to stab a Japanese man.

Red Steel
The concept behind Red Steel is definitely cool. You use the nunchaku controller to both aim and shoot a gun and slice with the sword as well as look around while walking. The analog controller in the left hand is used to move, and by twisting it you can open doors. The nunchaku controller was very precise, though this shouldn’t be surprising because if you can legitimately blame one death in a game on your controller, chances are you don’t want to buy the Wii. Also, it did not seem like the controller required enough movement that players will get tired over time; most players already jerk their controllers around when they’re excited (no pun intended) and I think that requires just as much muscle as the Wii controller does.

My biggest complaint is that I found the motion sensor to be overused–I’d much rather have to press A to open the door than twist a controller at *every* door. →  Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Post

Lame E3 pics 1

by

Click on a pic to make it really big.

Inside:

Welcome to E3, a terrorists wet dream.

More hoards of people.

The real inside:

They make it dark so you can’t see the faulty wiring in the ceiling.

Damn it, my wallet’s missing.

Tom Clancy must’ve creeped up behind me in the shadows and stolen it.

The downside of being a liberal is you feel guilty for not allowing everyone to voice their opinions. Thus, I bring you booth babes:

What’s that sword hiding?

Another obligatory booth babe pic.

E3 sheds light on consoles shortcomings

by

E3 not only showed us what to crap our pants in excitement and anticipation over, but also the things that will surely disappoint. After hearing about each of the new generation of systems I have compiled a list of one or two major complaints about each.

Sony’s Ken Kutaragi has said that people who buy the PS3 will have HDTVs. He has also called the system the Cadillac of game systems. He may have missed the fact that the Play Station line has been so successful because it was marketed and sold to the casual gamer. I have no cute anecdote for the PS2, but the PS1 sold better than the Saturn in Japan despite the fact that Saturn software outsold PS software. This is because serious gamers bought the Saturn and then a shitload of games while casual gamers bought a Play Station and Toshinden. The PS2 was also the most casual friendly of its generation with the Xbox being seen as hardcore and the Gamecube as kiddie. →  Ratchet & Read

An E3 for the proletariat: Console wars and Wii hands on

by

The big thing, of course, at this year’s E3 was the console showdown. First, you have the second generation of Xbox360 games, which look to be, as expected, a vast improvement over the first generation. Next, you have the PS3, which, frankly, looks unimpressive. And last, of course, is the Wii. As I started writing this, I was standing in a line so long for the Wii that if the damn thing doesn’t make my dick grow two inches and women love me even more, it was a waste of time.

I’d like to touch on the upcoming price war, and wonder what the fuck Sony is thinking. Sony has always been positioned as the Cadillac of systems, targeting adults focuses on superior performance and typically a very robust game offering. They certainly are thinking “Cadillac” with their $600 price point (the $500 is a decoy and a joke). My huge concern is–based on the first set of games shown at E3–this is going to be an even tougher sell than it already seems. →  Drakenread 2

An E3 for the proletariat: Impressions Part 2

by

As last time, coverage is by our street team of Golden Jew, Horatio, Noah and Ben.

World of Warcraft (PC)
At this point, you probably know all the data you need to from the internet, so I’ll focus on some chats I had with one of the Blizzard reps that was patrolling their demo area. When I asked what he was most excited about in the expansion, he said sockets. My main question was if sockets would be more helpful than most current end game crafting (ie, everything but alchemy except for resist gear), and he said for sure. He also indicated they will be adding to end game crafting in the expansion.

I asked about release dates for Naxxramas and the expansion, and all he would say for Naxx was “Summer.” He told us that everything has been pushed back. Although there would be patches between Naxx and Burning Crusade, there will be no new dungeons. This scares me, because we could be looking at a four month gap or more between Naxx and BC. →  Drakenread 2

An E3 for the proletariat: Impressions Part 1

by

Compiled by Golden Jew, Horatio, Noah and Ben, Videolamer’s field reporters.

Dynasty Warriors Vol 2 (PSP)
I liked this game quite a bit. I was a huge fan of the Dynasty Warriors series on the PS2 till I realized every game was exactly the same. After my 1,000,000 kill (Cao Cao: Truly, you are a brave warrior! And you have no life!) I burnt out. However, I was really impressed with the PSP version of this game. Gameplay was the norm in terms of hacking things to pieces (repetitive, yet strangely fun). What was very cool is that the battle system is a large grid shaped specially for each campaign and that each army (some computer controlled, and one led by you, naturally the most productive one) moves about.

You have various conditions for victory and defeat that center around a time limit (supplies) and then key objectives. If you haven’t yet been burned out from slaying your gajillionth enemy peon, or you’re looking for a good game to manage your video game fueled rage that is fueled even more by the lack of decent games on the PSP, this might be worth looking into. →  WELCOMETOTHENEXTARTICLE

Only Bill Gates can afford a PS3

by

$500 for a stripped down system? And if I save up after buying it I still can never have all the features the full $600 version has? When Phillips launched the CD-i at $800 it was clear they were insane. The PS3 will be cheaper but not by enough to make it clear that Sony are in their right mind.

Sony justifies the cost by saying there is a Blu Ray player in the system. Guess who designed the console. No, it wasn’t me. It was Sony. So they decided to put a Blu Ray player in the system. The Blu Ray players cost a thousand dollars so we are all getting a great buy, Sony says. If the PS4 comes attached to a Lexus and sells for 30 grand Sony will praise the system for being much cheaper than a Lexus without the PS4. This is stupid backwards logic marketing suits came up with in order to explain why their system costs as much as a PC. →  Eh, I’ve got nothing better to do.

Silent Hill: The Movie: The Review

by

Silent Hill is not your usual horror film. There are no promiscuous teens in peril. There is no lone psychopath that needs to be stopped by said promiscuous teens in the final scene. There is no supernatural/scientific/alien explanation other than bloody revenge and damning the souls of your enemies to a life of everlasting torment and pain. There is no happy ending. Speaking of which, there will be mild spoilers throughout this review so be forewarned.

As a fan of horror movies, I think it’s very well done. Director Christophe Gans (Brotherhood of the Wolf) does a great job setting up the world the movie will be taking place in without getting bogged down in usual horror movie fare. Rose (Radha Mitchell) decides she and her adopted daughter Sharon (Jodelle Ferland) must take a trip to Silent Hill after months (years?) of strange behavior culminating in Sharon almost plummeting to her death while sleepwalking.

Cut! Cut! … Ricky left the damn fog machine on again.

 →  Fear the old posts.

A guide to selling extra content

by

Microsoft and Oblivion have shown the world that gamers will actually buy discreet bits of additional content for their favorite games. Designing a method that allows a game to create a constant stream of revenue is ingenious, and now that the groundwork has been laid for us all we need to do to take advantage of this lucrative business opportunity is jump on the bandwagon. So then the question is not how do we set up a system that continually milks our fans, but rather what exactly do we use to separate them from their money; what content can we sell and to whom?

Any mildly proactive person can see that things like weapons, armor, and other gear can be sold to players for additional fees. This is exactly what has happened in the game Oblivion. But this kind of rigid thinking will not allow us to maximize profits. We need to push the envelope to capitalize on all market segments. →  [link only works on even seconds]

Weekly News We care About Wrap Up – 5.5.06

by

Analysts analyze the future through use of crystal ball
My arch enemy Michael Wallace of UBS Securities predicts this next generation console battle will be different than the last because the systems are so expensive. Startling revelation number two is that the Wii is unique so publishers won’t just port every game they make onto it. Wallace and his crony Stephen Kam think the “Wii” is a kiddy name but it won’t matter if the system has good games. Somehow these guys, who I assume majored in bullshit in college, missed the classes on image and branding because A) people don’t have infinite time to research everything so they often need to go with their gut reaction B) people are stupid and shallow and C) the name really is god awful.

The two don’t bother making a guess about who will win the next console war despite their job calling for them to make random guesses about everything else. The article ends with them guessing your lucky numbers, which are: 3,19, and 8. →  NiGHTS into REaDS