Articles

Biggest losers in the world wait for the PS3

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According to Games Are Fun, a line for the PS3 has already formed in front of a Best Buy in Burbank, California. People have been waiting since at least Wednesday for a console that launches next Friday. If these people can afford to miss over a week of work for a PS3, can’t they just get one on eBay for $2000?

As someone who may end up waiting in a line for a Wii despite having no intentions of purchasing one, I may not have much right to insult these stupid people. If it makes a difference, I will be waiting for three hours against my will (stupid friends) and not for 216 hours.

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 11.10.06

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One of the worst Top Ten Worst Games of All Time lists
Top 10, 25, 50, whatever lists are one of my worst enemies. They are vacuous and a cheap excuse for content. Even an unnumbered list is significantly better because from the outset the author wasn’t just trying to fill a number of slots. This link is to one of the dumbest Top 10 lists I’ve seen in a while but since it’s posted on a major site, many big blogs picked it up. Oh, the injustice!

Significantly worse than Postal.

It seems as if the author of this list may not play games. He acknowledges that peoples’ opinions will differ and that it’s hard compiling a list of the worst games ever made, but that caveat doesn’t save him. Most of the list is just a recycled version of every other worst games list. Yeah, ET is bad, Custer’s Revenge is offensive, we know. But is Custer’s Revenge worse than Beat ‘Em and Eat ‘Em? →  Sounds mildly entertaining, I guess.

Stop mixing my drinks

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So I was playing Final Fantasy XII for the first time when I noticed the game had a lot of concepts that look like they came from science fiction. Ships looking like they came from Star Wars fly around in the intro, shield-like barriers are being used to protect cities, that kind of stuff.

This wouldn’t really bother me that much, but it seems like regular medieval fantasy has become a lost art. Final Fantasy gradually made the transition from medieval to steampunk-esque to post-apocalyptic to an improbable-looking science fiction. I would have no problem with this transition normally — on the contrary, more science fiction RPGs would be nice too. But the story and atmosphere most of the time remain in the fantasy style. Why are people running around with swords and bows when it looks like ships – and I might’ve seen a laser once or twice – could do a lot more of the work?

It’s a bird… no, it’s a plane!

 →  They’re reading her… and then they’re going to read me!

Sony Ram More Hard Phallic Instruments Up Britain

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It really is never ending is it? First we get told that we wont receive the PS3 until March, which I accurately predicted about a year ago (shame I didn’t put a bet on it), and now Head Honcho Harrison is refusing to tell us that we’ll be getting it for March. Which I also predicted a couple of months back. This time, I’m going to commit this prediction to the web: I reckon the PS3 won’t be released in England until November 2007. That’s right. That late. They screwed us with the PSP, and now they’re doing the same with the PS3.

When asked whether or not the console would be released in Britain and Europe for the predicted March launch window, Harrison merely said:

“It’s not my job to comment on hardware supply issues other than to say some very smart people are working very hard to catch up”

Let me rephrase that statement in to what he really wanted to say:

“I’d like to tell you that we really don’t know when the console will be out in Europe, and to be honest we really don’t care. →  These are the games I know, I know. These are the games I know.

What the dilly with the DS?

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I was psyched for a handful of recent DS releases but then the reviews came. Yes, reviews aren’t gospel, but they aren’t as worthless as fanboys would like you to believe (for an interesting case study on the power of denial, visit the Sega forums). These once promising DS games now look significantly less promising.

The first of the bunch is Children of Mana. I don’t know why I expected anything from this game after Legend of Mana sucked so hard. Perhaps it’s the small hope I still carry that one day there will be another game in the series as good as Secret of Mana. Most reviewers describe the game as a “slow,” or “boring,” dungeon crawl with barely any plot. It’s possible the action RPGs of my youth that I hold so dearly had the same shortcomings, but I am no longer 12. I expect more.

Magical Starsign also looked very nice. Until I read that it was shallow, plotless and had bad stylus controls. →  Xenoblade Articles X

Series Retrospective: Tekken

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When I left for college three years ago, I made the transition as smoothly as anyone could ask for. No horrible case of homesickness, no glaring social problems. Even made the Dean’s List for the first and only time. There really wasn’t anything to worry about, save for one major adjustment; there were no gamers on campus.

She is bending over with such force that her hair is blowing. Amazing.

Sure, there were people who played, but it was usually the stereotypical group of guys who got drunk and played a lot of Madden, GTA and Halo (I would later come to embrace and sometimes join these fellows, but that is for another day). That, or I found hipsters who continued to play Mario Kart 64, insisting that it was the pinnacle of gaming, even after it received a sequel with a stable framerate. If there were crazy, dyed in the wool gamers like myself on campus, they were doing a fine job of hiding. →  Read, you fools!

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Metacritic loves popular sites

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This may be old news to many of you, especially since they even tell you on their About page, but Metacritic weighs reviews. Meaning they count a review more or less depending on how big the site the review came from is. This seems a little shady, but they at least don’t hide the fact. Here’s what tipped me off to some sort of mathematical incongruity.

Something struck me about the math. Mostly it was how (100 + 90 + 90 + 80) /4 = 90 and not 89. If CNET owns Gamespot and CNET owns Metacritic and Metacritic favors some sites over others, and CNET has competitors…well, isn’t this a possible conflict of interests?

Gears Of War In Bilingual Shocker, And I Think I’m Developing Mental Problems

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According to some random guy hidden in the very deep dark depths of the Internet (don’t go there without rubberised protection and lots of sharp objects), Gears of War is apparently region free. His post isn’t all that informative in explaining his method of finding out, so like a good videogaming fan I must assume he is correct.

Try to skip the fact that Play-Asia blatantly tells this person that he is, in fact, wrong. As a British guy who isn’t getting the damn game for another 10 days, I’m now mulling over the possibilities of purchasing from Play-Asia on the off chance that the guy-from-the-random-website might actually be correct.

I simply can’t wait 10 days. Splinter Cell: Double Agent may be good, but this, this is something else.

I think my head will explode with anticipation soon. Get ready with the glue to stick me together again. I can’t miss this game for the world.

Do I sound slightly obsessed? →  Postsona 3 FES

1UP-manship: A sad day to be a Journalist

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I think nearly everyone on the planet (or at least in the gaming community) has heard about 1UP’s Neverwinter Nights 2 disaster. If not, it went something like this: 1UP decided that their recently completed Neverwinter Nights 2 review did, and I quote: “a disservice to fans of the RPG genre.”

Both you and I know that that’s a bit vague, so I’ve decided to get to the bottom of the fiasco and find out what the real reason was for the pulling. Seeing as though I’m neither a super spy nor a private detective though, it’ll probably be speculation.

Possibility 1 — The review was actually a bit shit
Allegedly, the first time the review was submitted by Matt Peckham (who is a freelancer) he was asked to toddle away and make it a little bit more polished. This apparently happened a couple of times until 1UP’s editorial team were happy with the finished product. It was then that the article went live, amidst a sea of complaints and bitching. →  You reading at me?

Lame Discussion: To Pull a Review

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It’s been a while since the last discussion. The format will be the same as always; I just drop you into our chat room. Today we are talking about the pull of 1up’s Neverwinter Nights 2 review. If you aren’t sure what I’m talking about, don’t worry, Horatio wasn’t, either. For those of you who would prefer to read opinions in a more traditional format, check out Craig’s editorial on this issue.

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Horatio: Before we start, I quickly read the article, but can someone do like a three sentence explanation of what happened?

Christian: Basically, Matt Peckham wrote a scathing review of NWN, 5/10. People thought it wasn’t a fair review, and 1up’s editorial staff pulled it. Later it was explained that their editorial process was a bit different for this one. It might not have been read by as many people as normal.

Horatio: Also, unfair in the sense that like, he just doesn’t like the genre?

Jay: It happened to not be well written so a lot of people argue that’s why it was pulled. →  Castle Readigami 2