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Sony Ram More Hard Phallic Instruments Up Britain

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It really is never ending is it? First we get told that we wont receive the PS3 until March, which I accurately predicted about a year ago (shame I didn’t put a bet on it), and now Head Honcho Harrison is refusing to tell us that we’ll be getting it for March. Which I also predicted a couple of months back. This time, I’m going to commit this prediction to the web: I reckon the PS3 won’t be released in England until November 2007. That’s right. That late. They screwed us with the PSP, and now they’re doing the same with the PS3.

When asked whether or not the console would be released in Britain and Europe for the predicted March launch window, Harrison merely said:

“It’s not my job to comment on hardware supply issues other than to say some very smart people are working very hard to catch up”

Let me rephrase that statement in to what he really wanted to say:

“I’d like to tell you that we really don’t know when the console will be out in Europe, and to be honest we really don’t care. →  These are the games I know, I know. These are the games I know.

What the dilly with the DS?

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I was psyched for a handful of recent DS releases but then the reviews came. Yes, reviews aren’t gospel, but they aren’t as worthless as fanboys would like you to believe (for an interesting case study on the power of denial, visit the Sega forums). These once promising DS games now look significantly less promising.

The first of the bunch is Children of Mana. I don’t know why I expected anything from this game after Legend of Mana sucked so hard. Perhaps it’s the small hope I still carry that one day there will be another game in the series as good as Secret of Mana. Most reviewers describe the game as a “slow,” or “boring,” dungeon crawl with barely any plot. →  Do the math.

Series Retrospective: Tekken

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When I left for college three years ago, I made the transition as smoothly as anyone could ask for. No horrible case of homesickness, no glaring social problems. Even made the Dean’s List for the first and only time. There really wasn’t anything to worry about, save for one major adjustment; there were no gamers on campus.

She is bending over with such force that her hair is blowing. Amazing.

Sure, there were people who played, but it was usually the stereotypical group of guys who got drunk and played a lot of Madden, GTA and Halo (I would later come to embrace and sometimes join these fellows, but that is for another day). That, or I found hipsters who continued to play Mario Kart 64, insisting that it was the pinnacle of gaming, even after it received a sequel with a stable framerate. →  What is word? Baby don’t read me.

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Metacritic loves popular sites

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This may be old news to many of you, especially since they even tell you on their About page, but Metacritic weighs reviews. Meaning they count a review more or less depending on how big the site the review came from is. This seems a little shady, but they at least don’t hide the fact. Here’s what tipped me off to some sort of mathematical incongruity.

Something struck me about the math. Mostly it was how (100 + 90 + 90 + 80) /4 = 90 and not 89. If CNET owns Gamespot and CNET owns Metacritic and Metacritic favors some sites over others, and CNET has competitors…well, isn’t this a possible conflict of interests?

Gears Of War In Bilingual Shocker, And I Think I’m Developing Mental Problems

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According to some random guy hidden in the very deep dark depths of the Internet (don’t go there without rubberised protection and lots of sharp objects), Gears of War is apparently region free. His post isn’t all that informative in explaining his method of finding out, so like a good videogaming fan I must assume he is correct.

Try to skip the fact that Play-Asia blatantly tells this person that he is, in fact, wrong. As a British guy who isn’t getting the damn game for another 10 days, I’m now mulling over the possibilities of purchasing from Play-Asia on the off chance that the guy-from-the-random-website might actually be correct.

I simply can’t wait 10 days. Splinter Cell: Double Agent may be good, but this, this is something else. →  Beyond Read & Evil

1UP-manship: A sad day to be a Journalist

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I think nearly everyone on the planet (or at least in the gaming community) has heard about 1UP’s Neverwinter Nights 2 disaster. If not, it went something like this: 1UP decided that their recently completed Neverwinter Nights 2 review did, and I quote: “a disservice to fans of the RPG genre.”

Both you and I know that that’s a bit vague, so I’ve decided to get to the bottom of the fiasco and find out what the real reason was for the pulling. Seeing as though I’m neither a super spy nor a private detective though, it’ll probably be speculation.

Possibility 1 — The review was actually a bit shit
Allegedly, the first time the review was submitted by Matt Peckham (who is a freelancer) he was asked to toddle away and make it a little bit more polished. →  Videolamer does what IGNotDoes.

Lame Discussion: To Pull a Review

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It’s been a while since the last discussion. The format will be the same as always; I just drop you into our chat room. Today we are talking about the pull of 1up’s Neverwinter Nights 2 review. If you aren’t sure what I’m talking about, don’t worry, Horatio wasn’t, either. For those of you who would prefer to read opinions in a more traditional format, check out Craig’s editorial on this issue.

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Horatio: Before we start, I quickly read the article, but can someone do like a three sentence explanation of what happened?

Christian: Basically, Matt Peckham wrote a scathing review of NWN, 5/10. People thought it wasn’t a fair review, and 1up’s editorial staff pulled it. Later it was explained that their editorial process was a bit different for this one. →  Can you read me now?

Matt’s Lite Impressions: Wii Edition

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Apparently the Gaming Gods have smiled upon me once again, because I got to take the Nintendo Wii out for a spin today at the Nintendo World Store in NYC.

The first floor contained 3 Wii Sports kiosks. After a very short wait, I was given the go-ahead to try out the almighty Wii. I was about to play Tennis, but remembered they had Baseball as well, so I opted to go for the all-American pastime instead. The attendee helped me get setup with the game, and strapped the Wii-mote on me with it’s sleek little hand strap.

It’s been almost a year since I first saw it, but I finally got a chance to hold the Wii-mote. First thing I noticed was that it is completely encased, both the remote and the nun-chuck, in that shiny clear plastic that is becoming a staple of Nintendo hardware these days. →  I’ll get a job later, for now I’m going to read this

Launch Game Revelations

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In less than three weeks, the Wii and the Playstation 3 will be let out of their respective cages. And let me tell you, they’re definitely not a nice bunch, those two. They’re always making you feel bad for playing with those traditional, non-motion-sensing controllers like that of the Xbox 360. They’re just a couple of jerks. Best thing to do is to not pay them any attention. And what better way to do that than remember the launches of old systems?

If we take a look at previous launches, you will notice one interesting thing: many consoles launch with at least one game that goes on to be one of the greatest games of all time. I’ve listed them below. →  This better not be as bad as everything else here.

Matt’s Lite PS3 Impressions

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On Friday night, I took the trip to the Toys R Us in New York City’s Times Square, and put in a few minutes with the soon-to-be-released Sony Playstation 3. Here are my thoughts on the beast that is the PS3.

Once I got there, I saw that a line had already formed with about 10 people. The kiosk had four PS3’s setup, but only one was working. I’m not sure why the others weren’t in use, but I’ll stop myself from coming up with something that sparks hysteria on the Internets.

The game on display was Motorstorm. Although nowhere near the level of graphical power that was shown at E3 2005, it still looked great. The level of detail on the riders and the vehicles themselves was a sight to behold. →  Snap! Crackle! Read!