Wii

Ubisoft publishes crap on Wii, crap doesn’t sell, Ubisoft confused

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North American Ubisoft president Laurent Detoc recently showed concern over his company’s Wii titles. According to a recent Gamasutra article –

“He acknowledged the Wii in particular has been difficult for Ubisoft to find success with. Pointing to the console’s generous sales, he noted that games published for the Wii made up only 10 percent of Ubisoft’s sales last year, and added that the company will need to work harder to create games that will ‘sell as well as Nintendo’s own Wii titles.'”

Let us run through the list of games Ubisoft has published for the Wii as it may elucidate the company’s problems.

No More Heroes – A great game, by far Ubisoft’s best reviewed Wii title, also made by a talented developer (so obviously not Ubisoft). Given zero marketing, guaranteeing this quirky ultraviolent title’s demise.

Red Steel – An ok launch title for the Wii, sold over a million copies despite obvious flaws.

Raving Rabbids – A decent party game and good early effort. →  The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Read

Review – Opoona

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If a game contains art, is the game itself art? Is it moral for the local populace to manipulate an alien child into doing their bidding? What in the hell does that old engineer want with a sand weasel? These questions and more are asked in Koei’s latest published game, Opoona.

Reviews have not been altogether friendly to Opoona. I am here to tell you that yes, it may well be a horrible game. It has an occasionally annoying camera, a bad translation, and it’s easy to get lost even in the first dome-city. I am also here to tell you that I still really enjoyed Opoona despite these flaws.

But is it art?

I’ll get the bad parts out of the way first. First off: No voice acting. Sorry. I didn’t care; hell, I didn’t even notice until I realized the whole game sounds very uniform and ambient. Nothing breaks it up. Some people think this is a negative. I’m just glad they didn’t give Opoona and his siblings horrible squeaky voices. →  Theme Postital

Review – Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn

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Sequels suck. Prequels putrefy. And spin-offs spin out of control. And yet, so often when a story we enjoy ends, whether in the terra-forming of Arrakis or bodily ascension to heaven, we are reluctant to let go. We refuse to accept that resurrecting something so that it can go on eternally is usually a bad idea (I’m looking at you evangelicals.) The exceptions, (and there are a few: Godfather II, Red Dragon, The Simpsons, The Bible Goes West) prove the rule. So, when one of these quality exceptions of a continuing storyline comes onto the scene, especially in our medium, I think it’s time to take a holiday from derision and give the credit where it’s due. Such is the case with Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn. So, sit back and let me tell you about the shining dawn of a radiant path in brilliant storytelling and those who have strayed from the light.

Blah blah blah.

Gamespot gave Radiant Dawn a 6.0, calling the plot of the game “terrible,” and the IGN reviewer, despite having given the game an overall score of 8.0, complained about the “extremely simple storytelling that makes use of only a backdrop and some character art.” →  The happiest post on Earth.

Review – Phantasy Star 2

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A little over a year ago, I attempted to play through the original Phantasy Star. It was a trying experience, considering there is little in the way of direction or newbie-friendliness in the game. In the end, cuddlier JRPGs prevailed and I lost interest shortly after recruiting Noah.

Last month, I finished a play-through of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door and was looking for something else to play. I checked the Wii Shop, expecting once again to find an update with two, maybe three bland-looking clones of games already on VC. “Hmm”, I thought. “Phantasy Star 2…” a quick check around had me somewhat concerned. Most of my friends who enjoyed the Phantasy Star series told me not to even try. I shrugged and figured that if nothing else, my 800 Wii Points (which are no doubt all the more valuable due to the declining dollar and the burgeoning economy of Wiiville) will have gone to support classic RPGs.

A couple of hours later, when I told Jay I had started playing, his first words were “I’m sorry”. →  Start your journey now, my Lord.

Review – Gain Ground

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When Virtual Console was first announced, I have to admit I was really optimistic. I was looking forward to playing several of my favorite classics without having to hook up a half-dozen consoles. For those who hadn’t played them, well, they’d get to enjoy what I did. I am still a big proponent of what Virtual Console can do, but now my original optimism has been lost. I just don’t have the willpower to replay many old games I liked – only the best, if they do get released – but I find that it is a great way to experience the ones I missed.

Four days ago, I had never heard of Gain Ground. On Saturday, a friend recommended it to me when he saw the list of games on VC. I bought it and started playing… and I didn’t stop until I beat it. Oh sure, I was playing on Easy – and the game’s not incredibly long – but I was completely absorbed for an hour and a half. →  You do not simply walk into reading more.

Finished with the Next Gen — A jumble of an article

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I have had an Xbox 360 for about three months. Under normal circumstances such a short period of time would never be enough to wear down the novelty of this fantastic new toy. However, about three weeks ago tragedy struck. (No red circles were involved, the box works fine). I accidentally deleted about 25 hours worth of progress in one of my all time favorite games: Culdcept. The second I realized what I had done, I almost vomited from grief. I had gotten more than halfway through the game collecting about 300 of the 500 available cards, and all of it went up in smoke with a simple misclick. For the following week I could not bring myself to play another game. I could not even look at my Xbox without feeling a pang of regret. I almost picked up reading again, like some sort of a caveman. But, after some minimal contemplation I decided that instead of sulking, buying a Wii would cure all my ills. →  Snap! Crackle! Read!

Review – No More Heroes

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No More Heroes looks to be another feel good indie hit, which means it will be used as fodder in a growing debate in the entertainment world. These days, a surefire way of garnering critical acclaim and a small but fanatical following is to produce something that appears to have hipster/geek chic and indie cred. Do this, and watch people fawn over how “charming” your work is, while still containing a powerful message about something. Go far enough, and you will have something that goes beyond the rest, reaching a level of acclaim it has no right holding.

Examples of this are not too hard to find. On television there was Gilmore Girls, a show whose every DVD boxset had to include a booklet explaining every pop culture reference used in the season (making sure it looked like an old marble composition notebook for those who thrive on nostalgia). Its supporters considered this the best dialogue on television, while others couldn’t stand how any given scene sounded like a group of scriptwriters trying way too hard to sound clever. →  Sounds mildly entertaining, I guess.

What is a game, EGM?

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It’s depressing to see prominent video game publications play the role of the conservative establishment. Edge magazine recently doubted that games should strive to be more than simply games. Thank god a modern day equivalent didn’t convince Disney or Groening that cartoons should be no more than children’s entertainment.

On the other side of the Atlantic, Electronic Gaming Monthly has begun reviewing what they call “non-games.” Try as I might, I cannot come up with a satisfactory definition of the word game. EGM must have, though, if they now dedicate a portion of their magazine to video games that are not games. EGM owes the entire community this definition because it may end many squabbles over which consoles are doing well, which games matter, and where the industry is heading.

Before they enlighten the world with a precise definition of game, they need to consider some of the difficulty others have had with the word. Lets start by looking at how the word “game” is defined by Merriam-Webster online:

1 a (1): activity engaged in for diversion or amusement
(2): the equipment for a game
b: often derisive or mocking jesting

2 a: a procedure or strategy for gaining an end
b: an illegal or shady scheme or maneuver

3 a (1): a physical or mental competition conducted according to rules with the participants in direct opposition to each other
(2): a division of a larger contest
(3): the number of points necessary to win
(4): points scored in certain card games (as in all fours) by a player whose cards count up the highest
(5): the manner of playing in a contest
(6): the set of rules governing a game
(7): a particular aspect or phase of play in a game or sport
b plural : organized athletics
c (1): a field of gainful activity
(2): any activity undertaken or regarded as a contest involving rivalry, strategy, or struggle
(3): area of expertise

The first definition looks like the most relevant, only it’s so vague it doesn’t offer much help. →  Get lame or get out.

Videogame Child Support

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Here is another article lamenting of the poor sales of Zak and Wiki on the Wii, courtesy of Blend Games.

Since many here at videolamer have also advocated everyone to buy the game, I appreciate Blend’s promotion, as well as their warning that the game is starting to vanish from some shelves already. But now I am here to tell you that I did not buy Zak and Wiki yet, and I do not feel very bad about it. Or rather, I am not sure if I should.

You see, supporting the best of the lesser known releases during a year is a responsibility I take a little too seriously, often buying a game just for the initial sales number regardless of how much I may like it. Last year alone I picked up Odin Sphere, The Red Star, King of Fighters XI, Neo Geo Battle Coliseum, and Persona 3, none of which sold nearly as well as they should have, but have all turned out to be very good games in their own ways. →  All I want for Christmas is my PSP.

Diary of a Guitar Hero Loser

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Guitar Loser

Recently I wrote of my relative experience in the area of playing the video games and how it related to my ability to enjoy Halo 3. My cocksure countenance and, frankly, fairly insulting prose garnered a respectable number of responses whose general flavor I would describe as mired in absolute and laser-focused ire. Ire mired, as it were.

It is now weeks later and I own Guitar hero 3. I purchased the Wii version because I thought that plugging my Wii-mote into the Les Paul would somehow be more awesome than gaining achievements or playing friends online with less than thirty layers of fucking moon cryptography between myself and those people Nintendo just assumes are trolling the Wii-nternets looking for kids to say nasty things to. It is unfortunate that I must report to you that there is absolutely no reason to go this route. If you’ve got a 360 you’re better off getting that version. If you’ve got a PS3, you’re better off pretending that your Blu-Ray made sense at some point and that your Betamax player, stack of MiniDiscs and AAC collection aren’t blaring and expensive signs that you’re doing it wrong. →  Readout 3: Takedown