Nintendo’s E3 conference also sucks

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Nintendo’s E3 presentation was as bad as Microsoft. Had they not announced release dates of games I want, I’d probably say worse. Highlights:

– Bragging
– Charts
– Release dates
– Montages
– Charts
– Wii Zapper, which will come with a game (how about a game that comes with the zapper instead of a zapper that comes with a shitty after thought of a pack in?)
– Mario Kart coming early next year with online races and a stupid plastic steering wheel. Also with the new feature of “skill not mattering” that levels the playing field for all new gamers
– Charts
– Bad puns
– Montages
– High School Musical, the amazing game based off of the movie of the same name
– Wii Fit, complete with Wii Pad to Wii stand on

I thought Reggie was supposed to not suck. →  Now is the winter of read this content.

Microsoft E3 Presentation – Disney movies on Live!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Boy did Microsoft’s E3 presentation bore me. Here were the highlights:

– Disney movies coming to Xbox Live
– Short trailers for some good games including Resident Evil 5, Lost Odyssey, GTA4 and the new Call of Duty
– Sales spin – the 360 is expanding the video game market by leaps and bounds
– G4 cutting away during important moments and generally confirming they are actually a local college station
– Many new Live Arcade games
– Scene It, the boring board game, now coming to the 360 complete with easy to use controller for grandma
– Jeff Bell proving there is no God simply by existing
– New grayish green 360 to celebrate Halo 3
– Speech on how awesome MSs third party support is that ignored that Japan largely ignores MS
– Gears of War coming to the PC
– OMFG Disney movies!!!11 →  Eh, I’ve got nothing better to do.

A plea

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Yes, a bit of a plea in this semi-E3 season, which will quickly lead into the pre-holiday hype season. To all internet dwelling gamers and game journalists:

1) Please do not use the term SKU anymore. You aren’t retail managers or inventory workers. Did the words “Model” and “version” go stale or something? Or are you just trying to sound smart about an area of the industry you don’t know?

2) Please stop analyzing teaser trailers of games. You’ll get them in your hands sooner or later. Weren’t you all telling me that GTA was great for its sandbox gameplay? And now you’re analyzing every bit and piece of the new one to find out about the story and characters? Have we all just become bipolar or something? →  Are you ready for some readball?

Second helpings of the DS list article

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Yesterday we covered 65 DS games as something of a jesting response to a PSP Fanboy article. Some readers decided to ignore the point of our piece, which was that games are, at least by our standards, the real reason to buy or not buy a system. For those people, we now present a second reason (in their view) to buy a DS — backwards compatibility.

The entire GameBoy Advance lineup is available to a proud DS owner. While a majority of games on that handheld were licensed kiddy garbage, it was still home to some excellent titles you should make sure to play.

After some GBA games, we will then take a look at 10 upcoming DS games that look promising. →  Ba da bam ba baa I’m readin’ it.

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Some more Gears to Grind

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So despite my bickering about a page in a game manual, Gears of War ain’t too shabby. Not mind numbingly, ballistically good, but if that was a requirement for every game what would we play? I have a couple thoughts about it though; maybe you would like to hear them.

– Greg Kasavin of Gamespot said some video clip I watched about Resident Evil 4 that it was an experience he expected not to see until the next generation. Now the next gen is the current gen, and it seems that RE4 certainly set the tone for the experiences we would see. Gears of War is very much in the same vein as Resident Evil 4, and not simply because they share the same perspective. →  The Last Readment

65 reasons to own a DS

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Recently, PSP Fanboy began a series of articles called “60 Reasons to own a PSP.” They may only be up to reason 45 despite the series beginning a month ago, but today we are showing you everything we’ve got. Yes, 65 reasons to own a DS, but here’s the catch — they’re all games.

PSP fans (we have some at this site) and savvy readers may be quick to point out that PSP Fanboy could have taken the same approach. Forget that it’s debatable the PSP has 65 good games because that’s not the point. The PSP crowd may like games, but we believe the PSP Fanboy article shows what is important to that fanbase.

Features, a lot of features. →  All the lonely gamers, where do they all come from?

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ZOMG Moment – Altair has only 9 fingers

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I talked a little bit about my anticipation for Ubisoft’s Assassin’s Creed in my recent Game Designer article, but my frothing demand for this game has just gone to 11 this weekend after catching a glimpse of their developer diaries on Ubi’s official site for the game.

You can check it out here, with a whole slew of info on one of the most anticipated games of 2007.

And one of the coolest bits of info that I found in the Developer Diary video on the game’s storyline is the fact that Altair, the game’s main character, has only 9 fingers. Altair is a member of the original group of assassin’s, or Hashshashins, that committed political assassinations in the Middle East from 1090 to 1272 AD. →  I am become game, destroyer of words.

matt’s E3 Predictions

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I’m sure you’re probably bored to death of reading the blogosphere’s predictions for the cleverly-named “Min-E3” event that’s going to take place next week, but I haven’t stated mine yet, so you’re gonna sit there and listen, whether you like it or not. I’ll try to make it short, so you only have to use 3% of your brain power. Fucking babies.

Microsoft

-Gears of War for PC. Why? Because it’s already true.

-No portable (Jesus people, forget about it).

-$50 price drop for each 360 SKU (Core, Premium, Elite).

-No MGS4. It will happen eventually, but it’s not going to be for awhile.

-Zune will be integrated more with the Fall Update. Songs and video bought off Marketplace, then transfered to your Zune. →  Videolamer does what IGNotDoes.

Review — WTF aka Work Time Fun

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I am a masochist, I have to be. There is no other explanation for why I go back to a game that urges me to put as many caps on as many pens as fast as I can. There is no reason to keep chopping wood so fast that when a helpless little bunny gets thrown on the cutting block I can’t stop my swing in time and that little bunny become a bloody mass of flesh and fur. Such is the “game” that is Work Time Fun.

In Work Time Fun, you play a temp in a job agency in Hell. Various demons staff the job search desk, all of them offering the least helpful advice possible. There are tons of boring, grueling jobs to choose from (over forty I think) and they range from being a bouncer at a concert to the examples I described in the introduction. →  All I want for Christmas is my PSP.

Battle to the OST Death: Morrowind vs. Oblivion

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I’m not gonna lie. I love listening to video game music. It’s my favorite genre of music, and it takes a long time for me to switch off and listen to anything else. I have amassed a huge collection of video game OST’s over the years, which I may or may not be proud of. It’s hard to tell.

For this week, I’ve put a lot of time into the Elder Scrolls series, most notably Morrowind and Oblivion, and I thought it would be nice to give my impressions on the two OST’s.

I first started with Morrowind, as it is the third installment of the Elder Scrolls series, first released on the original Xbox. Both soundtracks are based in the classical genre, much like what you would hear from the Lord of the Rings movies. →  Assassin’s Read