Reviews PC

Computer games are a conspiracy to make consumers buy new hardware.

Review – Sam and Max Episode 3: The Mole, the Mob, and the Meatball

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I’m not going to do an “official” review of Sam and Max Episode 3. All the big aggregate game sites will give you the same Consumer Reports style bullshit about this one; how the environments are recycled, how the game is shorter and the puzzles are easier, and so its just not so good as the rest.

But you and me, we know differently. We already discussed with Episode 2 that repeated environments are to be expected in episodic content (and shouldn’t always be thought of as a bad thing). We know that length is not always equal to value. In short, quantifying game elements just doesn’t work, so let’s take the videolamer look at why I think Ep. 3 is the most entertaining and worrisome of the bunch.

Episode 2’s humor was somewhat blunt with its parodies of sitcoms and talk shows, but I still liked it. →  Read the rest

Eve Online : First Impressions

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It’s hard to write “first” impressions of a game that’s four years old, but nonetheless, this is where I find myself. Burnt out by World of Warcraft, ranting and raving about my addiction on this site, and swearing off MMO’s for good is where we last left off.

Well, I’ve at least kept part of it up; I’ve resisted the Burning Crusade completely. But I find myself once again sucked into the MMO world, having started playing Eve Online.

Eve Online is very different from other online games I’ve played. For starters, it’s set in the future, in a space base universe. But rather than being first person, like almost every MMO, the game is entirely ship based. In fact, until an upcoming expansion (and keep in mind there have already been several expansions), you can’t ever actually “get out” of your ship. →  Read the rest

Review – Sam and Max Episode 2 – Situation: Comedy

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Is episodic gaming on the ropes already? That seems to be what some people are saying. It’s kind of hard to believe this when the idea still hasn’t gotten off the ground, but these claims have some merit. Sin Episodes is in limbo, and everyone has come to agree that Valve is really making Half Life 2 expansion packs, regardless of what they want to call them. That leaves Telltale Games as the only major developer that has followed through with their promise of timely episodic content. First they did it with Bone, and now Sam and Max looks to be moving along right on schedule. The second episode, Situation: Comedy, was released just before Christmas, and I’ve finally gotten around to finishing it. At first glance there doesn’t seem to be enough to say about Ep. →  Read the rest

Review – Goonzu

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Goonzu – B

Genre: MMORPG

Quickie:
If you’re bored and want to try something new and inventive, try Goonzu. Its blend of economic and political aspects only add to its addicting nature and in-depth gameplay. Did I mention it was free?

Full Review:

Is that an evil onion?

At first glance, Goozu seems like just another Korean clone of Ragnarok Online, but a closer look might change your mind. Like any other MMORPG, gameplay centers around creating a character and improving your stats through hours of play during sleepless nights. Combat is a part of the game, and so is the process of completing quests in order to advance to the next level of experience. What sets Goonzu apart from other games in the genre is the fact that it focuses on the mechanics of economics and an active political system. →  Read the rest

Review – Sid Meier’s Railroads

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It could have been legendary… instead it’s just good. That’s how I’d sum up Sid Meier’s Railroads. It’s not that the core game isn’t fun: in fact, I’d say that for the most part, the core game is what shines. Unfortunately, the game was rushed out, and it shows: the first version is buggy, a little light on content, and lacks several key gameplay features that would make things much easier. Despite all of this, the game is quite fun, and I am confident that within 2-3 patches it will be where it needs to be. And it was only $40, instead of $50, so I guess that’s why we got 80% of a game.

What I Love

The core game engine of Sid Meier’s Railroads is excellent. Cities are placed throughout the map, with their starting supply/demand determined randomly. →  Read the rest

Review – Doom 3

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I didn’t understand all of the hype surrounding the release of Doom 3. So the graphics were cutting edge (assuming you wanted to drop $500 to get your memory and graphics card up to snuff), it was still a game based on a series well-known for having repetitious play and no story line whatsoever. Now don’t get me wrong, I loved playing the first Doom games/expansions, but I had a feeling they wouldn’t hold up if played them years later. I found my fears were correct as I tried to play both 1 and 2 off of the “Special Edition” Xbox game that comes with the entire set on one disc. Fun for the nostalgia, not so much for the gameplay. I made it about fifteen minutes in before moving on to the new game. →  Read the rest

Review – Sam & Max Episode 1: Culture Shock

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Well here it is folks. After much trial and delay, the world can finally partake in a new Sam & Max game. Since my only experience with these two characters comes from a handful of viewings of the old Fox Kids cartoon show, my interest in seeing new Sam & Max was quite neutral. Yet my desire to play the new game has been quite high, for no other reason than my great interest in the way in which it was developed. This has to be one of the biggest gambles the industry has seen this generation, one that I hope to see succeed.

After Lucasarts decided to waffle around and eventually can their efforts on a new game, creator Steven Purcell looked towards small developer Telltale Games to start anew. →  Read the rest

Review – Mount&Blade

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Sometimes games that are incredibly good have no advertising whatsoever. These games are usually made popular by word-of-mouth, if anything (Katamari Damacy for example). Developed by a husband-and-wife team, Mount & Blade is one such game.

I am often distracted while defending my castle by the natural beauty of the setting sun.

I first heard about Mount & Blade half a year ago on a forum. I didn’t try it out at the time, mostly because the authors of the posts were comparing it to Morrowind (which I found incredibly boring). A few months ago, though, I saw it again at a gaming site, this time with a formal, in-depth review that made it sound more interesting. I decided to give it a try and downloaded it.

Mount & Blade isn’t freeware, but it is open-ended shareware. →  Read the rest

Review – Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

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I’m sure everyone remembers the shitstorm that hit the Internet when Prince of Persia: Warrior Within was released two years ago. An unstoppable tide of criticism and disgust toward the game flowed for months, only getting worse when it ended up outselling The Sands of Time by leagues. (Thankfully, we were spared from having the Prince’s early game cry of “You Bitch!” become the next Internet trend.) However, the most curious thing about the criticism was that very few people ever made any sort of commentary on the actual gameplay. For all intents and purposes, it looked like angry nerds acting as immature and angsty as the kids that Warrior Within was trying to cater to (though that is not to say that I didn’t jump on the bandwagon for some period of time). →  Read the rest

Review – Half-Life 2: Episode One

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Right now in the world of console gaming, everyone’s favorite buzz term is “HD era”. In PC gaming, it’s all about “episodic content.” Everyone is talking about the concept of delivering smaller chunks of gaming more quickly and possibly with customized content based on user reactions. Unfortunately, the talk is mostly hot air. For one, very few developers have released anything episodic for us to judge, and those that are out there are either a little too indy (Bone) or not quite up to snuff (Sin). Fortunately, the biggest supporters of the idea, Valve Software, have finally given us Half Life 2: Episode 1, the first of many sequel stories to their smash hit. Maybe now we can finally see what this episodic content stuff is all about.

I can think of at least one issue with episodic content; even when we have something to review, how do we review it? →  Read the rest

Review – Sword of the Stars

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I’m still not writing to say that MOO2 has been unseated from it’s throne as best 4X space game ever, but Sword of the Stars may be the closest thing to bastard upstart rival capable of causing a genre wide (or at least, Golden Jew wide) civil war. The full game builds upon the demo, showing that the guys at Kerebros know what they’re doing and have created an extremely entertaining, robust game with a great deal of replayability.

This review will be written assuming you read my demo review. If you haven’t, you should go read it. Let me touch upon some high level items first. The one personal pet peeve I have about SOTS is they decided to go the route of “you should discover the intricacies of the game by playing it.” →  Read the rest

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Review – Civilization IV: Warlords

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Is that the Great Wall of China surrounding your civilization or are you just happy to see me?

Because I (and most other gamers) am incredibly weak willed, the expansion for the fantastic Civilization 4 was something I was going to buy regardless of reviews, and regardless of quality. Although it won’t win any awards, the Warlord expansion gets the job done and is a worthy buy. And worse, because of fundamental changes to the game setup (much for the better), if you’re a Civ player, you undoubtedly have already shelled out the money to buy the expansion by now (once again making one of my reviews irrelevant within the first paragraph, I’m batting 0 for 2 here these days). But, for this site’s sake, I suppose I’ll write a review anyway. →  Read the rest

Sword of the Stars Demo Review

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“Fear my complex arrangement of polygons!”

Let me start out by saying that I feel as if Kerebros made a serious error in the release of their “demo” of Sword of the Stars. This is not a demo. At least, I seriously hope it isn’t. It really seems to be more of a “beta demo preview” than anything else. What’s in a name? In calling it a demo, you set the expectations that you’re seeing a small slice of the real game (which you are). But after playing the demo, not extensively, but sufficiently, I can say that I would be a little worried if this was a small slice of the real game, as opposed to a teaser trailer/beta of a game in development.

That being said, I’d like to start out by congratulating Kerebros in doing what they have, which is presenting a part of their unfinished product to the community. →  Read the rest

Review – The Ship

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This game is 50% murder, 50% fashion.

Wander over to the video game design laboratory, and mix together a bizarre concoction of FPS, the Sims, and old school board game Clue, and you’ve got yourself The Ship Online, a Steam based game developed by Outer Limits. Originally a mod for Half-Life, The Ship followed in Counters Strike’s footsteps of selling out. In this fun filled game, you run around a 1930’s luxury cruise ship, being hunted by other passengers while seeking your own quarry to cruelly execute through any number of bizarre ways.

Ordinarily, I couldn’t care less about a game’s back story, but in The Ship’s case it’s helpful to explain the game’s bizarre premise and how it plays out. For whatever reason, you are on board a Cruise liner courtesy of a Mr. →  Read the rest

Flash game review bonanza 3

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Well I’m in that post-school, pre-summer job phase of life right now, by which I mean my cash flow is almost zero (there is, of course, always the five bucks I garner here and there for offering sexual favors to passing sailors). That being said, I haven’t purchased any new games recently, and it thus seemed time for another foray into the fantastic field of Flash-game fun (By the way, that just cost me two skill points in alliteration creation… and one in rhyming). Again trying to establish some continuity to my reviews, I decided to head over and try some of Popcap’s esteemed games. Thus, my reviews are limited to the one hour trial demo popcap.com offers, and I will offer along with the review my opinion on whether or not the games are worth shelling out the 20 bucks needed for the full version. →  Read the rest

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Review – Morning’s Wrath

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Hey, where’s the doll I put my equipment on? What kind of second rate Diablo clone is this?

Morning’s Wrath is an RGP put out by Ethereal Darkness Interactive, a tiny independent game studio, which I am willing to bet is less of a company and more of a dedicated group of friends who collectively thought, “What the hell, lets do it” and made a videogame. Let me make it clear off the bat; making a video game is HARD. Anyone who has managed to do it deserves a tremendous amount of respect, especially when they don’t have the resources like other mega-gaming studios have. Even if they have the resources, making a good video is still hard, as EA demonstrates every single day.

After that all too easy dig against EA, I have to say this: Morning’s Wrath is just another mediocre videogame that should have come out a couple of years ago. →  Read the rest

Flash game review bonanza 2

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Continued from yesterday’s Part 1

Gogo Happy & Smile

Author: HAPPYandSMILE
Genre: Beatemup

Yo yo yo wazzup?!
Justice has taken on many forms throughout history, but never one so fierce, or furry, as in Happy & Smile.

Synopsis: This game is an unabashed rip-off of Alien Hominid, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. You can play as either Happy or Smile, a cat and rabbit who fight a group of evil bears that drop lots of cash money. For those unfamiliar with Alien Hominid, Happy & Smile plays as a side scroller/beat-em up, pitting you against an unending onslaught of foes as you move across the city.

Style (9/10): The game is wonderfully themed, the art and orchestral music coming together to make the game seem like an old school gangster movie (albeit one about cats, rabbits and bears).

 →  Read the rest
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Flash game review bonanza 1

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There are a lot of flash games on the internet, and most of them suck harder than a hooker on Christmas. So, in order to avoid having to write six angst-riddled reviews of six horrible games, as well as give the set of games I review some feeling of cohesiveness, I’ve decided to provide reviews for the top six rated games at the infamous flash portal at www.newgrounds.com. Enjoy!

Raiden X

Creator: Go0gley
Genre: top-down shooter

Water attack
Laser of Doom- $5000. Futuristic air force jet- $20000000. Getting your neighbor’s kid to draw your backgrounds – Priceless.

Synopsis: Raiden X was developed as a tribute to the Raiden games. It is a garden variety vertical shooter. Certain enemies will drop power ups that allow you to upgrade one of three types of weapons: a blue laser beam, red machine gun fire, or a purple lightning type energy.

 →  Read the rest
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Review – Galactic Civilizations II

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Galactic Civilizations II: Dread Lords
Developed by Stardock
Published by Stardock
Released 2.27.06
Ships duke it out in deep space.

4x Space Strategy fans, your prayers have been answered. Although Gal Civ 2 isn’t quite what Master of Orion 3 should’ve been, it has a wonderful balance of the detail fun fans of the genre crave without the tedium that can be overwhelming. After that teaser trailer, how couldn’t you want to read on?

First off, let me say I never played Galactic Civ 1. So from that standpoint, I was a neophyte to the series, which greatly contributed to my learning curve issues. One of my biggest frustrations is it took me a solid five or so hours to figure out what the hell was going on in the game, but eventually it all gelled together. →  Read the rest

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Review – Weird Worlds

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Weird Worlds: Return to Infinite Space
Developed by Digital Eel
Published by Shrapnel Games
Released 11.4.05

Deep space
Unknown seldom means good in deep space…

I am one of those lucky people who is blessed with a job that is mostly unsupervised, and is prone to periods of downtime. As a result, I often find myself paid to play video games. Unfortunately, I am often required to get to work on a moment’s notice, thus precluding most online games from combating my work boredom. Further, my work laptop can’t quite run Civilization 4 at the speed I’d like it to. I found myself stumped for something good to pass the time.

I had seen a plug for Weird Worlds: Return to Infinite Space on Penny Arcade a few weeks ago, and figured what the hell. →  Read the rest

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