Flash game review bonanza 1

There are a lot of flash games on the internet, and most of them suck harder than a hooker on Christmas. So, in order to avoid having to write six angst-riddled reviews of six horrible games, as well as give the set of games I review some feeling of cohesiveness, I’ve decided to provide reviews for the top six rated games at the infamous flash portal at www.newgrounds.com. Enjoy!

Raiden X

Creator: Go0gley
Genre: top-down shooter

Water attack
Laser of Doom- $5000. Futuristic air force jet- $20000000. Getting your neighbor’s kid to draw your backgrounds – Priceless.

Synopsis: Raiden X was developed as a tribute to the Raiden games. It is a garden variety vertical shooter. Certain enemies will drop power ups that allow you to upgrade one of three types of weapons: a blue laser beam, red machine gun fire, or a purple lightning type energy. Also available are two sets of missiles that can be upgrade, regular and homing. The game features 7 stages, and each time you complete all 7 you move up a “mission” and start over at the beginning. Completion of the higher mission levels provides a hefty bonus to your score.

Style (6/10): The music and sound affects are superb, evoking a nice nostalgic feeling as you play. While there are a couple of nice cut scenes towards the end of the game, the backgrounds generally look like a less than brilliant seven-year-old’s attempt to utilize MS Paint. This does not detract too much from the game as you will be preoccupied with downing an endless stream of enemy forces.

Substance (7/10): Though it would have been nice to have a variety of different planes to select from that allowed for different weapons and weights, the plane you do get to use handles nicely. Further, the different weapons trade off between power and screen coverage, allowing the player to pick appropriate strategies for different situations. The game starts off very easy, and it is not until the end, if ever, that you will worry about running out of lives. This is actually nice for a top-down shooter, which are generally known for cheesing the player out of lives.

Bonus points: +20 points for letting you save your game.

Overall score: 7/10, Nothing spectacular, but a solid game that you’ll find yourself willing to pick up any time you’re bored.


Ronin: Spirit of the Sword
Creator: Jamus Tiberian

Genre: Adventure

Synopsis: Ronin follows the story of a ninja who is infiltrating the hideout of the red fox. The game features fairly large levels that you explore with the arrow keys. At random points you will enter a fight scene, where you can use the mouse to both block, attack, and utilize whatever spells you have. The game has three difficulty settings that you open as you play.

Duck and cover!
Evil Bamboo shoots– the unknown bane of a ninja’s existence

Style (8/10): The art in the game is very good, and the story scenes in between levels are even better. The game features a lot of gratuitous adult content, in the form of random pictures of naked anime girls strewn about the levels that can later be accessed in a gallery mode. Most of the story scenes also get pretty raunchy. If that’s your thing, cool, and if not, there is an option to turn it off. Music is nice, but the sound affects become grating over time.

Substance (5/10): The game has a basic set of stats that can be increased by finding items located in each of the three levels. The battle system is lackluster and repetitive: once you learn the best way to take out each enemy, the process is not fun but simply laborious. This wouldn’t be so bad if your character could gain levels, but he can’t. So, you find yourself grasping the keyboard in anger when the screen turns black and a battle initiates. Though you do pick up spells as you play through the harder difficulty settings, they don’t add any real element of fun to the game. Despite this, exploring the various levels is fun, particularly if you have an obsessive-compulsive personality that enjoys exploring every nook and cranny of dungeons.

Bonus points: + or – 100 points for x-rated content (depending on how lonely you are).

Overall score 6/10: The game serves as a good waste of time, but eventually the repetition will leave you sick to your stomach.


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18 years ago

Hey… I drew those Raiden X backgrounds…