Blog

Review – Devil May Cry

by

Now that I look back, a lot of action games from the N64/Playstation era were trash. Most involved rudimentary combos, bad controls, and unnecessary platforming elements. They weren’t good at taking advantage of 3d, and looked ugly as sin to boot. You were better off finding a copy of Final Fight or Contra if you wanted a polished action experience.

Even today, it isn’t hard to see why those classic 2d action games were, and still are, so damn good. They realized the importance of simple, precise control that gave the player all the tools they needed to succeed against the onslaught of enemies. Victory required the player to keep a cool head among the chaos, and to find enemies’ weaknesses by recognizing patterns. Easy to learn, difficult to master, the satisfaction of completing a good action game was often unrivaled.

Dante judges those who violate his fashion code.

Action games have improved greatly this generation, and much of this is thanks to Devil May Cry. →  Read awhile, and listen.

Street Fighter Alpha 3

by

Street Fighter Alpha 3 is considered by the majority to be the pinnacle of the series, and is very often called the best Street Fighter game in existence. It certainly is the most popular, having been ported to four consoles and two handhelds since the days of the Saturn, and is usually the recipient of the highest scores among Capcom fighters.

My own obsessive collecting of 2d fighters over the last five years can be directly attributed to the day a good friend of mine brought it over for an afternoon. It was the first time I had sat down with a 2d fighter since the old days when I rented Super Street Fighter 2 on the SNES once a month. Things had certainly changed since then. The super combos, the beautiful sprites, the multitude of backgrounds… Alpha 3 showed me that the genre still had a lot to offer. As my collection grew however, the game continuously got less and less play, until I had almost completely forgotten about it. →  Destroy All Articles! 2

Street Fighter Alpha: Warrior’s Dreams

by

The first truly new Street Fighter post-SF2, Alpha 1 had quite a legacy to live up to. I remember the commercials for the game, which made it look a hundred times more intense than SF2 with its dazzling array of special effects and super combos. It even had Guy from Final Fight! Unfortunately, the actual product was a huge disappointment for many die hard fans, as it was rushed to release and is obviously an unfinished game. Yet I’ve also seen players reminisce about Alpha’s simple, straightforward gameplay.

So which side is right? I’ll have to agree with the naysayers. Alpha 1 is just too archaic and unpolished to be of much worth these days, especially considering how vastly improved its sequels are. Yet there is one redeeming quality that has, ironically, made me play it more than any other game in the Anthology.

It seems rather bold for so many people to claim that a game is unfinished, but with Alpha 1 there is little argument against it. →  Now with fewer vowels.

Best Game Ever – Suikoden

by

Growing up I always played games, but only recently would I have ever thought of myself as a “gamer.” I had a Nintendo for several years, then a Genesis, but until Playstation (and High School) I played mostly NBA Jam, and whatever the rest of the kids from school/the neighborhood were playing. This included a lot of games I would now scorn, such as games licensed from movies. I always noticed Genesis games on the shelves that looked as though they might be interesting due to the dragons and medieval knights on the covers, but I was apparently unable to take the plunge at the time.

He’s a goner.

Come high school, I met a bunch of people different from myself (basically I hadn’t met anyone not Irish- or Italian-Catholic) who did different things (other than play baseball and basketball). One of these was our friend Jay who was kind enough to lend me Suikoden and condescending enough to warn me repeatedly that there were periods with little action, a lot of reading, etc. →  I can has post?

What is a hardcore gamer?

by

So E3 has come and gone. I missed out on most of the news and hoopla, in favor of catching up after the dust settled. I did, however, read more than a few articles that popped up in the month prior to E3, specifically those that dealt with the marketing aspect of the games industry. I’ve seen articles discussing mobile games, non-roleplaying MMO’s, and a mysterious new thing called “Serious games.”

Holy crap the Serious Games Summit looks like fun!

Most of this meant very little to me in the long run, but one debate that has been brought up as of late has piqued my interest: “Who is a hardcore gamer, how do and why should we cater to them?” This has to be one of the worst questions they could possibly ask, and even worse, they can’t even get the answer right.

The modern game industry has pinpointed the hardcore gamer with a very specific definition. For one, they are a group of people in which gaming is a very serious hobby, which I can certainly agree on. →  You reading at me?

Flash game review bonanza 1

by

There are a lot of flash games on the internet, and most of them suck harder than a hooker on Christmas. So, in order to avoid having to write six angst-riddled reviews of six horrible games, as well as give the set of games I review some feeling of cohesiveness, I’ve decided to provide reviews for the top six rated games at the infamous flash portal at www.newgrounds.com. Enjoy!

Raiden X

Creator: Go0gley
Genre: top-down shooter

Laser of Doom- $5000. Futuristic air force jet- $20000000. Getting your neighbor’s kid to draw your backgrounds – Priceless.

Synopsis: Raiden X was developed as a tribute to the Raiden games. It is a garden variety vertical shooter. Certain enemies will drop power ups that allow you to upgrade one of three types of weapons: a blue laser beam, red machine gun fire, or a purple lightning type energy. Also available are two sets of missiles that can be upgrade, regular and homing. →  What is a post? A miserable little pile of secrets.

Diablo Musings

by

For the most part Diablo fans figured the series was dead, considering that the talent behind it had left for greener pastures.

Then BAM!

A Diablo 3?

Which is interesting, considering that Diablo wasn’t made by the standard Blizzard department that created Starcraft or Warcraft. In fact it was made by a separate Blizzard office, Blizzard North. Originally named Condor, Blizzard bought them out and renamed them to Blizzard North in 96, even though they had been contracted to start building Diablo a year earlier.

The three head honchos left Blizzard North due to strife with the parent company Vivendi over financial crap, typical corporate dicks screwing with the artists kind of thing. So they split and formed a new company which put out Guild Wars.

But it looks like Blizzard is going to do a Diablo 3 after all. I am unsure of what direction they will take it but with the loss of many of their old designers and talent I hope they will make it as similar to the originals as possible. →  Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty article.

Huge percentage of women cut from the video game industry

by
A booth babe working hard to make this loser believe she gives a shit about posing with him.

This year the Nazis at E3 have decided on a new rule for booth babes. “Material, including live models, conduct that is sexually explicit and/or sexually provocative, including but not limited to nudity, partial nudity and bathing suit bottoms, are prohibited [at] the Show.” This means that if there even are booth babes at E3, they will be dressed like your mom (no, not your mom, Billy).

These women, these booth babes, are role models for young girls who dream of making it into an industry dominated by men. Even feminists applauded the booth babes’ efforts to shatter the glass ceiling with their large breasts, and feminists hate everything. But these women can always get a job at Hooters, the real victims of this tragedy are two more important section of society: men and children.

I won’t be able to attend this years E3 (prior engagement) and quite frankly, I think it’s better this way. →  The King of Articles 2002: Unlimited Match

Bad Reviews

by

I have read a lot of bad reviews, and not just on this site. There are things I feel should be mandatory in a good review besides just a breakdown of graphics, audio, gameplay and control. At worst, a review is nothing but three 80 word blurbs, half of each spent on being “funny” or about 300 words and then some pictures representing the reviewers feelings of the game, we in the biz call them emoticons.

Tell us who made the game. Mario Golf was not made by Nintendo, nor was Paper Mario. I cannot tell if this is due to a lack of research or if reviewers just think we don’t need to know. I guess their logic is that telling us Nintendo made a game is easier than telling us Camelot did. This is self satisfying since if they had been telling us the actual developers’ names over the last few decades then continuing to tell us wouldn’t confuse nearly as many people. →  A reader is you.

Review – ChoroQ

by

ChoroQ
Developed by Atlus
Published by Takara
Released 11.14.04

 

Win this race to unlock secret driver Lindsey Lohan.

ChoroQ caught my attention because it claimed to be a racing RPG, a genre I didn’t know existed, much less one I had any experience with. I figured, even if all I got out of the ten bucks it cost was another obscure game for the collection and a few minutes of distraction, it would be a worthwhile purchase. Disclosure: my experience with pure racing games is limited to a ton of time spent with Gran Turismo 3 and a de minimus amount of time spent on a few other, minor titles (not counting the Mario Karts of course). Gran Turismo 3 was a great game, and this was apparent to a novice in the genre such as myself, because of the depth of the gameplay, and the level of customization. The realism probably figured in somewhere, but since I don’t know (or care) about car racing I’m not sure that was even apparent to me. →  And so it games…