E3

matt’s E3 Predictions

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I’m sure you’re probably bored to death of reading the blogosphere’s predictions for the cleverly-named “Min-E3” event that’s going to take place next week, but I haven’t stated mine yet, so you’re gonna sit there and listen, whether you like it or not. I’ll try to make it short, so you only have to use 3% of your brain power. Fucking babies.

Microsoft

-Gears of War for PC. Why? Because it’s already true.
-No portable (Jesus people, forget about it).
-$50 price drop for each 360 SKU (Core, Premium, Elite).
-No MGS4. It will happen eventually, but it’s not going to be for awhile.
-Zune will be integrated more with the Fall Update. Songs and video bought off Marketplace, then transfered to your Zune.
-Some crazy XBLA game shown off, with a million crappy ones.

Sony

-$100 price drop for PS3 in North America. Also, true.
-PSP Lite shown in actual form, presented with the new PSP Store. (I personally cannot wait for this)
-MGS4 playable, but Killzone in video form only. →  Arc the Post: Twilight of the Spirits

Huge percentage of women cut from the video game industry

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A booth babe working hard to make this loser believe she gives a shit about posing with him.

This year the Nazis at E3 have decided on a new rule for booth babes. “Material, including live models, conduct that is sexually explicit and/or sexually provocative, including but not limited to nudity, partial nudity and bathing suit bottoms, are prohibited [at] the Show.” This means that if there even are booth babes at E3, they will be dressed like your mom (no, not your mom, Billy).

These women, these booth babes, are role models for young girls who dream of making it into an industry dominated by men. Even feminists applauded the booth babes’ efforts to shatter the glass ceiling with their large breasts, and feminists hate everything. But these women can always get a job at Hooters, the real victims of this tragedy are two more important section of society: men and children.

I won’t be able to attend this years E3 (prior engagement) and quite frankly, I think it’s better this way. →  Frankly my dear, I don’t read a damn.