Confessions/Obsessions

Everyone has done things they are ashamed of and stalking often seems like a reasonable pastime. We at videolamer tend to channel our sick obsessions through the outlet of gaming, leaving the stalking up to the professionals. In this column we will admit to things we’d be embarrassed if our parents read and tell you everything about our weird sex fetishes, all in the name of truth. And also to feed stereotypes about gamers being misogynistic hermits who can’t get dates. For your information, we actually could get dates if we’d stop stalking women.

World of Warcraft Endgame Analysis part II

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Parts: I | II | III | IV | V

PVP

Player versus Player (PVP) primarily occurs through three “instanced” battlegrounds: Warsong Gulch, a capture the flag game that features 10v10, Arathi Basin, a king of the hill game that is 15v15, and Alterac Valley, which is an objective based wargame which is 40v40. There is some “world PvP,” on PvP servers, but for the most part, PvP grinding is accomplished via these three PvP games.

Players
PvP

PvP advancement occurs in two ways. The first is the honor system. As you win PvP games and kill other players, you are awarded “honor points.” Every week, your honor points are totaled and compared against the rest of the server’s grisly accomplishments. Depending on your performance, you are promoted or demoted in rank (or more likely stay the same).

There are a total of 14 ranks. The first 5 are considered “enlisted,” and 6-14 are “officer.” Depending on your rank, you are given access to different levels of equipment, and in the high end, weapons. →  To be this lame takes ages.

World of Warcraft Endgame Analysis part I

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Parts: I | II | III | IV | V

So, you’ve made it to 60 th level. Good, Blizzard claims that World of Warcraft truly begins at 60 th level (or so someone once told me in my guild). But it’s also a shame because there are a good number of instances (dungeons that are personal to your group) that get passed up or breezed through… but that’s a discussion for another time.

Cute but deadly
This kid’s undead rogue will pwn you.

Meanwhile, you’ve arrived at 60th level. One important thing to know about WoW is that character advancement is predominantly determined by items. Up until the most recently added pair of dungeons, Ahn Qiraj (a 20 and 40 man version), there was no way to update your character’s core skills at level 60 (AQ lets you get “books” for new character abilities). Keep in mind the game has been out for over a year and a quarter, so that gives you an idea of how new a concept non-item advancement is for the game. →  Look upon my works, ye mighty, and read!

You never forget your first one

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PSO Ver 1 case
The future is colorful.

I really enjoyed Phantasy Star Online (PSO). I was there when it launched on the DreamCast. I was there for the DreamCast launch as well, but that’s a different story. There was just “something” about PSO that grabbed me. I’m not sure if it was the lineage of the earlier games, the sci-fi rpg trappings, or the Diablo II elements. Knowing me, it was a combination of all three.

I got hooked when I started playing the online component of the game. Initially, I was dialing in using the DreamCast’s integrated modem. When I first started playing, it was fine. Then I wanted a bit more.

After savagely beating a roommate for picking up the phone during a run of Caves-2, I ordered an ethernet adapter. I could play without any interruptions.

Now, I need to tell you what MAGs are.

MAGs, are (initially tiny) robots that hover around shoulder level. They are constantly hungry and demand items every eight point two five minutes. →  Monster Reader 4

Origins of a pinball fiend

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Capcom’s happiest test arcade.

When I was younger, (which is more than a decade ago, but not long enough to be the “good old days”) my father would bring me to La Jolla Village Square. In that shopping mall was a place called Yellow Brick Road, which was a Capcom test arcade. There, I would meet with friends and unofficially compete against other groups of players to see who could “hold” the Street Fighter II machines.

These were not mere quarter munchers. These were gladitorial arenas, forty-five inch wide screens, with seats for the competitors, meticulously maintained controls, and a constantly changing roster of challengers.

One mantra. “Winner stays, loser pays.”

While I was establishing my fighting game “street cred,” my father would sometimes stay for a few games, but not anything so forward, down, down-forward, punch. He would head towards the back of the arcade, usually the deserted area next to the skeeball and the whac-a-mole ticket dispensers.

There, behind all the glitz and glamour of the arena, were the pinball tables. →  U R Not lamE.

Fevered Dreams of Video Games

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the ultimate lasers…

…black and white… all rotating, is one superior? lasers everywhere…

white and black two way… four options but with homing blast, but which is the most true?

This is a rough transcript of my thoughts during a recent fever induced delirium. They may not make much sense to you, but I had pictures going along with the words in my head. Also, they didn’t really make sense to me. All I know is that when I’m very sick, I dream about shooters. This specific half asleep half awake episode seemed to be both comparing the minimalism of Ikaruga to the chock full of weapons Gradius V. I also thought I had come up with the perfect laser approach in all games. This makes no sense, of course.

Since this illness has kept me away from the site for almost a week it makes sense that I’d have writing on my mind. Other plans I’ve made sort of in a feverish sleep include writing a guide on advertising games to women, comparing names of games in some sort of purposeless chart, and analyzing why some games that integrate feature after feature work well (Mario 3) while most newer platformers that try this fail. →  Read like G did.

Girlfriend of a gamer

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Game Rush
Game Rush may be in Blockbuster, but only in the way the Confederacy is "in" the Union.

Do you or does someone you know have a partner who is a gamer? Well I imagine if you are reading this uber nerdy site that you do or you are one. For many gamers, gaming is not just a habit but a way of life. Gamers eat, sleep and breath video gaaaaaames. I learned this lesson the hard way when I fell in love with a fan boy. Being in a relationship with a gamer is not easy. There are the long hours spent waiting while your gamer guy/gal looks through piles of used games hoping to find that hidden gem, or the times when your partner totally ignores you because they are completely immersed in a game. Just one more level! Do these words sound familiar?

Last year I accompanied my boyfriend to a conference in California. We spent most of our time at the conference however we decided on our last day we would drive by the mountains and go to the beach. →  Hey, hey, hey, it’s time to make some crazy reading!

Idol Worship: Bo and Ippo

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An extension of the Best Game Ever column, this new space allows me to not just love and gush over my favorite games, but caress and manhandle some of the people who made my favorite games. An obvious first choice would be someone like Shigeru Miyamoto, Yuji Naka, Sid Meier, or Will Wright, but that wouldn’t be very exciting and where’s the elitism and snobbery in picking someone everyone already knows? Their days may still yet come in the pages of Idol Worship, but for now we will examine two little known composers who worked for Sega in their golden age, Tokuhiko Uwabo and Izuho Takeuchi, better known as Bo and Ippo (well, to me at least).

Sega, like Atari, refused to give credit to their staff well into the 90’s. That’s why these two composers are not usually credited by their real names and have become known to fans as Bo and Ippo. Sega eventually stopped being assholes, so we now have the real names of their old staff, but it is still problematic matching the names to their pseudonyms. →  Xenosaga 2: Jenseits von Gut und Pöst

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For absolutely no reason, here is Golden Axe

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I learned how to ride a bike at 13, so it should be no surprise that it’s 2006 and I have now had my first experience with a digital camera. At this rate, I’ll kiss a girl by the early 2060s. Sadly, I do not own the camera, it belongs to my girlfriend (I know, that could easily ruin the last joke, but luckily for us, and Jesus, we believe in no touch love) but that hasn’t stopped me from taking as many stupid pictures as possible. The first pictures I took were of my video game collection, my crotch (soon to be featured on this site), and then my Golden Axe machine.

Having an arcade machine in a small apartment sounds like a great idea, but is it really? That depends on why you want it and how much effort you’re willing to put into the hobby. Prepare yourself for a tale of over ambition, poverty and sloth.

One day a few months ago, a coworker showed me an ad on Craigs List. →  Hey, hey, hey, it’s time to make some crazy reading!

What are your gaming politics?

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Video games are a lot like politics. There are gamers who cry every time someone makes money, those who wouldn’t mind if Electronic Arts bought their children and then some people in the middle. I’ve compiled a list of what I identify as the most common types of gamers and listed their beliefs as seen through a political eye, but keep in mind I am biased by my own beliefs, both political and… gamitical. Call everyone into the room to find out what each other are. It’s fun for the whole family. Sorry, Nazi Gamer isn’t on the list, dad.

Only plays Wisdom Tree titles.

The big two – Most gamers, and decent Americans, fit into one of these two categories.

Liberal Gamer: The possible upcoming game price increase is unnecessary and will only lead to more piracy. What happened to the money we were supposed to save on the change over from carts to CDs anyway? The market exists to serve gamers because we allow the market to exist so the idea that we should all fall to our knees and thank the publishers for giving us games is ridiculous. →  Now bear my arctic post.

The magic of Shenmue

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Perhaps no game or series has ever affected me the way the two Shenmue games have. Because Yu Suzuki was the lead designer, the first game received a good amount of hype leading up to its release, but I was initially unable to play it since I didn’t own a Dreamcast. A short while after the release Jason and I got together, and while we were trying to figure out what to play, he mentioned that he had started Shenmue, but had not gotten very far and was not yet sure if he liked it or not. Fortunately, we chose to restart the game, and barely looked back. Barely only because at first there was a brief period where we were a little unsure what we had gotten ourselves into. The game seemed engrossing, but was it fun? I’m still a little unsure about whether or not I can really answer that question, yet I regularly check the internet for news about a possible third installment, so there must have been something there. →  SaGa 3: Shadow or Write