Editorials

Here is where we weigh in on all of the important issues that effect today’s world. There are so many things to complain about: developers, publishers, retailers, other gamers, the market as a whole, gaming technology, gaming related technology, gaming politics, gaming court cases, Japan, trends, current events, past events, future events and bioterrorism. We won’t silence an opinion just because it’s “unpopular” or “poorly reasoned,” so you can be sure we will always present at least one side of an issue. Think of us as the Fox News of gaming.

Enough with the androgynous characters

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Team Ninja is obsessed with breasts. This happens to be an obsession most American men (and women) share. Game after game, Tecmo and many other publishers give us girls that make Dolly Pardon look prepubescent. Most thoughtful gamers (or prudes) have already declared this tendency absurd, or at least unrealistic.

Arguing that Team Ninja should be neutered is a position that is seen as pro-women and inclusive. Call Final Fantasy characters effeminate, on the other hand, and you invite accusations of homophobia and narrow-mindedness. Before I justify my stance on the character design of Final Fantasy games and many other Japanese titles, let me first establish what I mean when I say the art is effeminate.

Squall from Final Fantasy VIII looking coy in his furry coat is a good example. →  Read the rest

A FPS Japan likes

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Japanese gaming magazine Famitsu has given Red Steel for the Wii a very nice review score of 34/40. This would be an 8.5 in English. American reviewers have not responded to the game well, but the odd thing is, besides Nintendo Power’s review, Red Steels two highest scores came from European sources (NGamer UK, Computer and Video Games UK). These Euro-sources are the only two obviously non-American reviews of the game, too.

So does this mean anything? Do foreigners like Red Steel more than decent, hardworking, red blooded Americans? The Japanese enjoying the title makes some sense. The country has never been impressed with our FPS output and the genre didn’t really catch on there. So a FPS with a different control scheme, more Japaneseness, and possibly added suck appeals to them. →  Read the rest

Do PS3 owners have small penises?

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“Well that’s because the wii sucks!!!! The only reason people want it is because they either never got thier dream Playstation 3 or they want it for Zelda. Apparently i think zelda aint worth 300 bucks with tax. I’ll take my chances with the ps3. Also i heard playstation 2 graphics almost outbeat wii graphics, and ain’t nothin close to the Playstation 3.”

This kind of clever repartee is easily found on any message board.

“Good for you, im glad you kids are excited about this.. maybe when youre old enough to get a job you can get a Ps3..like me.”

But something struck me about this post besides the poor punctuation. To some people, the PS3 is a status symbol. It’s expensive, shiny and new, and therefore owning it makes you cool. →  Read the rest

Wii worries

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Well here it is folks. The biggest weekend gaming has probably ever had. The PS3 and the Wii launch within two days of each other, and after Sunday, the next gen will become the current gen.

There is (or at least I think there is) a lot written about how these two consoles represent two vastly different approaches to gaming and marketing. That’s not what I’m here to talk about. While my excitement for Nintendo’s new box is at fever pitch, it’s still a huge gamble, and I’m still not sure if it will all work out. With the PS3 now out, and the Wii is just hours away, I’ve got a few final reflections before the battle begins.

The PS3 Factor
For the last six months gamers have barbequed Sony about the huge amount of blunders and overall arrogance that has defined the road to the Playstation 3. →  Read the rest

Wii Midnight Madness

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In the last 24 hours, people have been beaten, robbed, and shot for their PS3’s. The demand for the system is at an all-time high right now, but, amazingly, for all the wrong reasons. As has been stated all over the Internet, a lot of the people waiting on a line for the PS3 have now put their new warez on eBay, hoping to take advantage of little Billy’s moronic parents. They’re definitely going to get their money, but some of those lucky sellers thieved their way into that rather large bonus.

I’m writing this blog in hopes that the Nintendo Wii launch this Saturday night goes a lot smoother. Please, everyone, don’t act foolish or selfish. Nintendo has promised a huge supply of Wii’s, and there should be no problem when walking into your local Wal-mart, or what have you, to pick one up. →  Read the rest

EGM takes a side in the console war

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Can the media change the outcome of an election? Who cares. The more important question is – Can the media impact console sales? Electronic Gaming Monthly’s newest issue has an article comparing the Wii to the PS3 (all or most of which is reprinted here). After each comparison, like hardware, control, games, etc. the author(s) pick a “winner.” The PS3 won more categories than the Wii but EGM promises the battle is not over yet; next issue they will pick the ultimate champion.
 

Numbers from December of ’03 say EGM has over 500 thousand subscribers. This is a decent number, but when considering that most people who run gaming sites read EGM, the numbers alone do not reflect the magazines influence.

So will the console they pick dominate the next generation because they picked it? →  Read the rest

Capcom Compilations

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So a trip to my local Gamestop enlightened me to two nice little releases from Capcom. It seems the store is selling exclusive 3 game boxsets for Devil May Cry and Resident Evil. You can get all three DMC games for just $30, while $40 nabs you the three Cube exclusive Resi’s (REmake, Zero and 4, which was at least initially exclusive). Both packages come in rather nice boxes, though there seem to be no other special items along with them.
 

I think this a pretty great idea from Capcom. The prices for both sets are very reasonable, especially for the Resident Evils. Despite the fact that most of these games are quite old, something like this could easily go for $20 more if they wanted to. Instead you can get three great titles for less than the cost of a brand new one. →  Read the rest

Yet another peculiar top 10 list

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Slightly (extremely) bitter about not having my stories picked up by the big sites, I scour Slashdot, Kotaku, etc for sub par stories that gets attention on a daily basis. Today’s highlight is a top 10 list (where’d they get the idea for this one?) on the “10 lamest game consoles, ever.” Ignore the fiery rage that builds within you when you see misplaced commas and other grammar atrocities. For now, focus on the gross injustice of including the Saturn amongst the Virtual Boy, CDi, 32X and N-Gage.

The guy who proclaimed Prince of Persia: Warrior Within one of the worst games of all time clearly had some input in forming this list. Please name for me the classics for the consoles on this list:

Action Max
N Gage
32X
Gizmondo

In turn, I will name amazing Saturn games: Guardian Heroes, NiGHTS, Panzer Dragoon, Panzer Dragoon Zwei, Panzer Dragoon Saga, Shining Force 3, Dragon Force, and Bomberman. →  Read the rest

What the dilly with the DS?

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I was psyched for a handful of recent DS releases but then the reviews came. Yes, reviews aren’t gospel, but they aren’t as worthless as fanboys would like you to believe (for an interesting case study on the power of denial, visit the Sega forums). These once promising DS games now look significantly less promising.

The first of the bunch is Children of Mana. I don’t know why I expected anything from this game after Legend of Mana sucked so hard. Perhaps it’s the small hope I still carry that one day there will be another game in the series as good as Secret of Mana. Most reviewers describe the game as a “slow,” or “boring,” dungeon crawl with barely any plot. It’s possible the action RPGs of my youth that I hold so dearly had the same shortcomings, but I am no longer 12. →  Read the rest

1UP-manship: A sad day to be a Journalist

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I think nearly everyone on the planet (or at least in the gaming community) has heard about 1UP’s Neverwinter Nights 2 disaster. If not, it went something like this: 1UP decided that their recently completed Neverwinter Nights 2 review did, and I quote: “a disservice to fans of the RPG genre.”

Both you and I know that that’s a bit vague, so I’ve decided to get to the bottom of the fiasco and find out what the real reason was for the pulling. Seeing as though I’m neither a super spy nor a private detective though, it’ll probably be speculation.

Possibility 1 — The review was actually a bit shit
Allegedly, the first time the review was submitted by Matt Peckham (who is a freelancer) he was asked to toddle away and make it a little bit more polished. →  Read the rest

Launch Game Revelations

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In less than three weeks, the Wii and the Playstation 3 will be let out of their respective cages. And let me tell you, they’re definitely not a nice bunch, those two. They’re always making you feel bad for playing with those traditional, non-motion-sensing controllers like that of the Xbox 360. They’re just a couple of jerks. Best thing to do is to not pay them any attention. And what better way to do that than remember the launches of old systems?

If we take a look at previous launches, you will notice one interesting thing: many consoles launch with at least one game that goes on to be one of the greatest games of all time. I’ve listed them below.

Best Launch Titles

For those of you who haven never heard of it, this is what Super Mario Bros.

 →  Read the rest

Matt’s Lite PS3 Impressions

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On Friday night, I took the trip to the Toys R Us in New York City’s Times Square, and put in a few minutes with the soon-to-be-released Sony Playstation 3. Here are my thoughts on the beast that is the PS3.

Once I got there, I saw that a line had already formed with about 10 people. The kiosk had four PS3’s setup, but only one was working. I’m not sure why the others weren’t in use, but I’ll stop myself from coming up with something that sparks hysteria on the Internets.

The game on display was Motorstorm. Although nowhere near the level of graphical power that was shown at E3 2005, it still looked great. The level of detail on the riders and the vehicles themselves was a sight to behold. →  Read the rest

No more whining about PSP homebrew, please

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It’s been brought to people’s attention before, but I want to express my own thoughts on the subject of PSP homebrew. I don’t mean the idea of having them on there to begin with. I’m going to talk about the problem with Sony not giving homebrew designers a chance to flourish more.

Many people have stated before that, if Sony started a program where homebrew was accepted, that the PSP would flourish as a hand-held system. I would also think this to be true, but there’s one problem with this scenario, and it’s inherent within the homebrew scene to begin with.

Once Sony legalizes it, then you are going to see a flood of UMD-rippers and burners turning up, which has, in fact, happened. It’s not as prevalent due to the firmware versions that are needed to run homebrew, but it’s still there. →  Read the rest

Frets on Fire

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You knew it was going to happen eventually. Just like DDR before it, Guitar Hero has inspired people to emulate the game on the PC. Frets on Fire is an open source GH project for all major Operating Systems, and tries its best to emulate the basic structure of the game, as well as support song creation. You’ve probably heard about it on some game site or another. I’ve known about it for a few months now, but I never gave it a shot because of one huge, glaring problem; the basic game requires you to use the keyboard, holding it in place like a guitar.

Simple, but workable

I don’t think I need to tell you that this is the Stupidest Idea of 2006. But fear not! It turns out that, for a small financial investment and absolutely 0% tinkering, you can get the game to work with a Guitar Hero SG controller. →  Read the rest

The One Year Delay

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The holiday season is upon us, and this time its not just a few big games coming out; we’ve got two new consoles as well. I’d like to try a little experiment. Would you like to help?

I hate making accusations against big name game journalists, because I’m trying to write myself, but there is one trend that I notice among them that I just can’t stand, and I’d like to see if its just me, or if it really is true. I call it the One Year Delay, and it works like so:

– A big, hyped title is released, and gains huge scores and heaps of praise when the reviews pour out. We here about it in blogs, editorials etc. for some time afterwards. The fans like it too, but even the most die hard begin to admit that there are some problems with the title, none of which are ever mentioned in any of the reviews. →  Read the rest

A Luminous Experience

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As of now, my job as a QA tester is becoming dreadfully boring. They don’t have any games for me to test anymore, gosh darn it! This has lead me to pull out the ol’ PSP and get some Lumines sessions going.

I bought this game when I first got my PSP over a year ago, and it’s still one of the system’s best games. Tetsuya Mizuguchi is a true pioneer in what I like to call “audio games.” He puts far more time and effort into the audio presentation than anything else in his games. Go back and play Rez and you’ll see what I mean.

The cool thing that I recently discovered with Lumines is the menu’s background techno music. If you’ve ever accessed a few of the menus, you’d see that each successive menu adds a new beat to the song. →  Read the rest

DIY PSP Car Stereo

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Here’s a tip for you do-it-yourselfers: turn your dust-infested PSP into your car stereo system. I was completely surprised (and annoyed at myself for not realizing sooner) that you can use an iPod tape-deck adapter with your PSP. Some of you have may already done this, but I went one step further. I applied velcro strips on the bottom of my PSP and a vacant lot on my car’s console, and viola! A fairly stylish car stereo system.

I’ve included a pic to give you an idea on how to set it up. Just make sure to get somewhat industrial-strength velcro strips to use, as pulling the PSP off the dashboard repeatedly will probably rip off weaker kinds. I went ahead and put the softer side of velcro on the actual system, and the spiky kind on the car. →  Read the rest

Top 50 game journalists?

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Next Gen has compiled a list of the top 50 game journalists. I am outraged and deeply insulted to have been left off of this list. Of the 10 friends I’ve shown this site to, I guarantee at least half would believe English is my native language. My Shakespearean use of the words “douche bag” calls out to be recognized and honored by not just pathetic gamers, but by the entirety of media and Western Civilization.

I take shelter in knowing the list is a mere popularity contest. My posts of “fuck sony u suk” on various message boards may be popular, but those are done under the pseudonym gangstagama69, not my proper journalist name jay. Had Next Gen’s list focused solely on mind blowing awesomeness, there is no doubt losers like Adam and Morgan from that shitty review show would not be included. →  Read the rest

Burning Crusade: Not just for killing Muslims and Jews anymore!

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Unfortunately, this is a bit stale as a preview, but I still wanted to get a chance to get some of my thoughts out on the upcoming World of Warcraft: Burning Crusade expansion. Naturally, everything is constantly changing, and I don’t have access to any “inside information,” so my rambling and analysis is based on publicly available information.

First of all, I’m wondering when the damn thing will come out. Blizzard has said Q4 of this year, anywhere from October through December. I’m guessing at this point we’re looking at December. It’s a must for them to have it out pre-Christmas, but I’m not sure they’ll beat Thanksgiving.

The Good

Better Dungeon Design: Blizzard seems to have done a much, much better job of dungeon design. Each dungeon has 1-3 separate wings design for 5 or 10 people, allowing for casual groups to enjoy. →  Read the rest

PS3 Needs a Little Support

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Next-Gen.biz has an interview with Capcom USA’s Charles Bellfield, where he asks for more positive coverage of the PS3 in the media. This actually got me thinkin’ for a bit. Is their too much negative publicity for the PS3, and is it justified? Sure, some may spit at the $600 price tag, but has anyone thought of the positive things that the PS3 will bring to the table? Well, I guess I’ll be the one to bite that bullet.

First, you have all those exclusive games that are coming out for it. Level 5’s White Knight, Konami’s Metal Gear Solid 4, and Capcom’s Devil May Cry 4 are just a few of the games that will probably blow our socks off, and they’re only for PS3.

Second, you have the next-generation of video game graphics. →  Read the rest