posts by jay
jay

Finally, a reason to move

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I’m accustomed to a game having to win me over. It should convince me it’s fun, and if I see a way to cut a corner here or there, by all means I’ll take it. Sure I’m supposed to talk to those town folk to further immerse myself in this RPG, or I’m supposed to call out that word in this party game, but if I don’t explicitly have to, then I just won’t do it. If the designers were good enough, they’d force me to have fun.

This is at least how I felt before owning a Wii. I have become acutely aware of how my willingness to stand up and have fun affects how enjoyable many Wii titles are. →  I can has post?

Best Buy needs a better selection

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Tonight I scoured the earth for a copy of Etrian Odyssey. A painfully difficult game with music by Yuzo Koshiro sounds like heaven to me. Apparently, Best Buy thinks it sounds like a nerdy Japanese RPG doomed to rot on the shelves. I was hurt that the store didn’t carry the game, but what they do carry is infinitely more infuriating.

Cars…OK, maybe the movie was cute.

Cake mania…I guess it’s some flash game, whatever.

Bratz: Diamondz…No, there is never a reason to stock this game. If you buy your children Bratz merchandise do the world a favor and smother them while they sleep.

Dogz…Nintendogs ripoff meant to take advantage of stupid children and ignorant parents, fine.

Horsez…Nintendogs ripoff meant to take advantage of stupid children and ignorant parents who cannot tell the difference between a dog and a horse, fine. →  God of War: Readnarok

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 5.14.07

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Starcraft 2 is coming
Golden Jew was wrong. He is hereby stripped of one hundredth of his massive pile of gold coins, crowns, and swords. I’ll give it back when the Starcraft MMO comes out in two years.

Rare to broaden 360s audience with all age friendly games
But also don’t rule out that they will make mature games, says Microsoft’s Peter Moore. They will or they won’t. They may and they may not. I’m glad Moore cleared that up.

Rare is fascinating because Microsoft seems to think Rare can change the Xbox brand image and because I have a theory that Nintendo makes their second parties what they are. On the first point, Rare will fail. Microsoft is taking the same attitude towards appealing to the mass market as they took when attempting to appeal to the Japanese — “one or two games should do it, now let’s sit back and wait for the money.” →  Xenosaga 2: Jenseits von Gut und Pöst

Violent games may affect us but the Constitution protects us

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In the wake of the Virginia Tech shooting the media once again pounced on video games, an easy target and frequent scapegoat. As usual, gamers were not very thrilled. Many gaming sites wrote scathing condemnations of the obvious idiocy of Jack Thompson, Dr. Phil, and company. Joystiq, however, chose to do something positive.

The site posted a declaration titled “What I know about violent video games” that partially reads:

– I know the difference between right and wrong.
– I know the difference between fantasy and reality.
– I know where the game ends and real life begins.

The declaration has a spot for a signature and is meant to be given to loved ones who may be concerned about your gaming habits. →  [send private information]

Your favorite game looks like shit

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Something’s been on my mind recently and I can’t make sense of it. Not “why are we here?” or “what’s after this life?” Those are easy questions to answer. I’m talking about something deeper, something video game related.

I consider myself a hardcore gamer based on the amount of gray matter I’ve dedicated to storing information on video games (F, D, F, HP — YOUR HEAD IS MINE!) and for the fact they occupy my thoughts whenever possible. I’ve played hundreds of games on a dozen or so consoles, and here’s the important part, besides the joy of bragging — my favorite titles are spread throughout time and hardware.

I have favorites on the C64 (Archon 2), NES (Contra), Master System (Phantasy Star), Genesis (Shining Force), SNES (Secret of Mana), PS1 (Twisted Metal 2), N64 (Golden Eye), Saturn (Panzer Dragoon), Dreamcast (Bangai-O), PS2 (Guitar Hero), Xbox (Chronicles of Riddick), Gamecube (Eternal Darkness) and PC (Baldur’s Gate 2). →  Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the article?

Nintendo – Honest designers or Japanese super ninja thieves?

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Today I stumbled upon my bag of E3 2005 crap. I hadn’t remembered it was under the bed right next to the box of Chick Tracts (kids love them!) A quick look through the pamphlets and goodies made me recall how much of a bloated orgy E3 was. Just how many more Sony key chains, FFVII Before Crisis monitor wipers, paper Sly Cooper 3D glasses, and Phoenix Wright branded cans of coffee did they expect to give out before the whole thing collapsed under the weight of hastily thrown together demos, rabid consumerism (yes, I fought someone for that can of coffee, and no, coffee should not be in cans), thudding bass and barely dressed women?

The answer was “one years worth.” →  READ3R

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 5.4.07

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Sony markets to teens
Sony decided this was a smart business move after analyzing the figures:
Selling games to 10 year olds = totally lame (Nintendo sux LOL)
Selling games to 14 year olds = awesome to the max (we rulz)

The All I want for Christmas is a PSP, Sony’s first attempt to market to teens, went over slightly better than September 11th. Most failed ads don’t bring in more customers, this failed ad led to current customers donating their PSPs to their walls at 15 MPH.

EA noticing Wii and DS appeal to kids, plans bad mini-game game to cash in
EA Playground appeals to “the kid in everyone.” How exactly did EA deduce this? There are the obvious things that appeal to kids but not adults, like finding the opposite sex disgusting and eating chalk. →  How many games must a gamer play before you call him a gamer?

New Wii games will not make current Wii games less terrible

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As you may have read, Nintendo recently announced the first party games they plan on releasing in Japan in 2007. Here’s the list:

-Donkey Kong Taru Jet Race (renamed DK Jet or DK Bongo Blast for the US)
-Wii Health Pack
-Disaster: Day of Crisis
-Mario Party 8
-Project H.A.M.M.E.R.
-Wii Music
-Super Mario Galaxy
-Super Smash Bros. Brawl
-Battalion Wars II
-Forever Blue
-Mario Strikers Charged
-Metroid Prime 3: Corruption
-Mario and Sonic at the Olympics

It’s about time, Nintendo, because there are a lot of terrible Wii games out right now. The Wii’s ratio of playable games to shit is nearly as bad as the Virtual Boys. Far Cry, Rapala Tournament Fishing, Wing Island, World Series of Poker, Rampage, and Wii Play are horrendous. →  Read Band 2

Kutaragi is Kutarazy

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Ken Kutaragi recently made it known that he has design ideas for the PS4. And the PS5. And the PS6. Based on Phil Harrison’s declaration that the PS3 is future proof, the PS4 should hit the market between about 84 thousand years from now and never. But even if you’re one of those cynics who don’t believe everything PR people say, you’ve got to figure the PS4 will launch around 2012. With five years each generation, that gives us the PS6 in 2022, a full 15 years from now.

Maybe Kutaragi has a knack for correctly interpreting Nostradamus, but he is probably just delusional. How could he possibly be planning anything beyond the color of the PS6 casing? Technology advances in fits and starts and is difficult to predict even without any unforeseen break throughs (cars, radio, TV, internet, The Clapper). →  Secread of Evermore

Creative writing, descriptive language and curse words do not automatically make a review good

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I apologize for linking to an old review of Twilight Princess. I only recently read it and feel compelled to comment. My first instinct was to write the entire review off as a cry for attention. While it may be, writing it off is the easy way out and allows the author the satisfaction of being dismissed, as opposed to critically assessed. So let’s discuss the merits of her positions.

Whether games are all ultimately very similar and it is only the façade of graphics, sound, and plot that differentiate them or whether the façade doesn’t matter because games are ultimately the game mechanics underneath is not a debate I am equipped to settle. I tend to come down on the side that the façade usually doesn’t matter and the mechanics are really what a game “is” at least 95% of the time (for example, Fumito Ueda titles may be in the remaining 5%). →  Today I consider myself the luckiest reader on the face of the earth.