Tonight I scoured the earth for a copy of Etrian Odyssey. A painfully difficult game with music by Yuzo Koshiro sounds like heaven to me. Apparently, Best Buy thinks it sounds like a nerdy Japanese RPG doomed to rot on the shelves. I was hurt that the store didn’t carry the game, but what they do carry is infinitely more infuriating.
Cars…OK, maybe the movie was cute.
Cake mania…I guess it’s some flash game, whatever.
Bratz: Diamondz…No, there is never a reason to stock this game. If you buy your children Bratz merchandise do the world a favor and smother them while they sleep.
Dogz…Nintendogs ripoff meant to take advantage of stupid children and ignorant parents, fine.
Horsez…Nintendogs ripoff meant to take advantage of stupid children and ignorant parents who cannot tell the difference between a dog and a horse, fine.
Hamsterz…what the fuck? We bitter gamers spend so much effort hating EA we didn’t even notice that Ubisoft is now almost as shameless and devoid of creativity. Hamsters are pretty cute, though.
Pet Vet, Purr Pals, countless other animal care games, most of which end in “Z.”
And the final nail in the coffin -78 thousand copies of The Suite Life starring Zack and Cody.
Best Buy’s GBA selection is somehow worse. If you were new to the system you wouldn’t believe it’s home to a number of awesome RPGs, action games and some Nintendo classics. But that’s alright, I didn’t really want Yggdra Union. I came for Drake & Josh.