retro

Thinking about the Master System library

by

This post is unlikely to exist. If you’re reading it then it must, but just barely. I originally began writing about Saturn games that needed to be better than they were. That will still be written, I think. Then I decided I’d need to dig into the Genesis’ games to really figure out what happened between Sega’s most successful console and their first publically named planet console. But then it would be important to understand the Sega CD and even 32X. I still want to write about all these things 47 other people care about, all of them with strong opinions that contradict my own.

Moving back to the Master System seemed inevitable, but only after I decided I would write about it. I suppose inevitable things are always evitable at first and then something happens to make them into things that were always going to happen even though up until then they weren’t going to happen. I was doomed to write this, but was happier when that doom was pending. →  Assassin’s Read

Wednesdays with Andrew – NiGHTS into Dreams

by

(For context, see the introduction to this series here.)

We’ve all seen movies, read stories, and played games where if you die in the game you die in real life. But where are the games that if you die in real life you die in the game? Sure there are some games where if you stop playing an enemy may kill you or, if for some reason you play multiplayer games, another human. But it’s not really the same. I propose a game that detects a lack of player input and then sends pop up boxes in game every four minutes asking if you are still alive. If you take more than ten seconds to confirm your existence, you die in game. This ensures that dying in real life does in fact kill you in game. Maybe you think this is a harsh mechanic and you shouldn’t lose a video game just because you died, but I see it as respectful. →  Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Bore me and I sleep.

Tuesdays (Wednesdays) with Morrie (Andrew)

by

My elderly (42) friend Morrie (Andrew) is dying (he is not) of cancer (massive hemorrhoids). Understandably, he (probably) came to me and said, “I cannot imagine the regret of leaving this world without becoming familiar with Sega’s legendary Saturn console.” I pointed out that the shame his family would endure would force them to leave the state because I don’t think he was fully considering the precariousness of his position. 

Luckily for Morrie (Andew), I am a very generous person living with some woman, three children, and an inordinate amount of free time. “Honey, the only time this man plays Saturn, let alone Sega CD Make My Video games, is when I invite him over promising to watch a movie he really wants to see and then forcing him to instead play old console games,” I considered saying. “What a travesty, and I still can’t get over the cancer,” I imagine she would respond, if I spoke to the woman in my house. →  Keep it warm.

To Play or Not to Play Diablo 2

by

I have played a lot of Diablo 2 but for unknown reasons, I can’t stop thinking about the rerelease. In an effort to convince myself not to get it I have outlined a list of arguments and then, in completely self-defeating fashion, counter arguments, aka reasons why I should just get the damn game.

Why I shouldn’t play Diablo 2: It’s old

Diablo 3 is a better game and makes its predecessor feel dated and less awesome.

Why that argument doesn’t hold up: I didn’t like 3

Pretending for a minute I don’t routinely enjoy older games, I can entertain this position specifically aimed at Diablo style click-heavy ARPGs. OK, I am done entertaining. I played Diablo 3 close to launch and did not have a great time. Some of my negative feelings stemmed from the digital key reader my friend needed in order to even play the game, some were based on tired old arguments about aesthetics, and the rest comes from a legitimate feeling that the game simply wasn’t up to snuff. →  Article Hominid

Retro Games, Presentation, and Gatekeeping

by

For those of you who are white collar workers, imagine the following scenario. It’s happened to me more than once in real life, and perhaps it’s happened to you too …

A new bit of jargon recently crept into your industry. For now, let’s just make up a word, like … “scropely.” 

Everyone starts to use it, slowly at first, but it quickly builds momentum. At first you think you understand what scropely means, but then a few people use it in a new and seemingly contradictory way. Now you’re back to square one.

At some point you’re in a large meeting. The new jargon is being tossed around freely – everyone is talking about how something is or isn’t scropely. At some point it’s your turn to talk, and you bravely (or foolishly) state:

“I’m not sure about you folks, but I honestly don’t know what it means for something to be scropely.”

You fear that you will be mocked, but the opposite is true. →  Sounds amazing, I must read it now!

Waiting for Arc the Lad – PlayStation RPG Memories

by
Currently playing: The Sexy Brutale

In the early months of 1995 my friends and I poured over every drop of PlayStation information we came across, whether it be a magazine ad with Polygon Man telling us the system was more powerful than god, Sony suggesting we were UR NOT E, or the giant cardboard cutout of whip wielding Sofia at the local Palmer Video that still managed to be half an hour away. The older consoles were looking less appealing by the day (thanks, Vectorman), especially when compared to generation-defining beauty such as the widely advertised Battle Arena Toshinden (Sofia wore leather, you see, which really pops when rendered in cardboard).

By the midpoint of the 90s my friends and I were all 13 and desired a higher caliber of digital entertainment regardless of platform – the RPG. The first one previewed for the upcoming PlayStation console was called Arc the Lad and we all eagerly anticipated the game and expected it would be available soon after the system, at this point having no concept of localization, publishers, and all the messy stuff at the rotten core of the game industry. →  Imagine all the gamers playing for today

The Quest to Make Everything Playable

by

I have been on a long, expensive, two pronged quest to (1) make all games playable with original hardware (2) on my modern television. The two huge caveats are that it may all stop working at some point when the HDMI standard is replaced by something good, and “all games” actually means a lot of games, not “all games” as you would reasonably infer by my choice of the words “all games.” I covered some of my journey setting up old consoles for my OLED months back, so it is time to discuss the game portion. I will spoil it for you now – the answer is piracy.

Just joking, obviously I have cartridges and CD/DVDs for anything I have in ROM or ISO form because I deeply respect copyright law. It feels like just having the games should account for the majority of this whole project, but ripping or finding them in dark corners of the internet is the easier and cheaper part of the process. →  Postsona 3 FES

What to Do with my Apple II

by
Currently playing: Nier Automata

I have an old Apple II. I got it years ago at an antique store, for much less than the seller could have asked. The only problem is that it was just the Apple II, without any disk drives, and no software. That means I could do absolutely nothing with it.

Eventually, some family members got me a (single) disk drive and a copy of Apple DOS for Christmas. I eagerly plugged it all up, only to have it go up in smoke. Turns out that when the power supply gets old enough, it can’t really handle the extra power draw from the floppy drive(s). I don’t think I’ll ever forget the sight of blue smoke (or the smell of it) coming from inside the box.

So now I have a broken Apple II. It’s been sitting in my basement, on a cheap Ikea end table that is entirely too short to sit next to. I recently had to move it to make room for some exercise equipment, and that’s when I realized that I had to decide what I was going to do with it. →  Who is that standing behind you?

Affordable GOG Game Recommendations Part 2

by
Currently playing: Don't Starve Together

More GOG recommendations, continued from Part 1 here.

More Strategy games

Knights & Merchants: The Peasants’ Rebellion – If you’re into sims, this sure is a sim. When I had the time to play the original release (which had no fast-forward) I reviewed it. I find myself mostly agreeing with my earlier self; it’s an interesting game if you’re into the idea of building a supply chain from scratch, sort of like a peaceful, less dangerous cousin of Dwarf Fortress. I’d probably recommend the more recent Banished over this one, if only for the clunky combat K&M requires you to engage in – but if you want to build a medieval ant farm and then leverage it to crush your enemies, this might be your game.

Seven Kingdoms 2 – This is a deep, relatively slow-paced RTS that was largely ignored at release. I’ve never actually met another real-life person that played this, so if you claim to have played it I will assume that you are a robot but have good taste in games so you’re cool. →  Today I consider myself the luckiest reader on the face of the earth.

Affordable GOG Game Recommendations Part 1

by

Since videolamer has begun the process of following in Buzzfeed’s esteemed footsteps, it’s only natural that we reach for the low-hanging fruit of picking out games we played and telling you to play them. GOG (www.gog.com), briefly branded as Good Old Games, is stacked with tons of games created by incredibly talented developers years ago, most of whom will never see any of the money you spend because the rights have been sold and resold dozens of times over. But at least if you spend money on these 20-year-old games, it will assuage the slight twinge of guilt you might have felt if you pirated them.

Many of these games are more than 20 years old. Some run in DOS/DOSBox, but many have fan patches available. Check the corresponding GOG forum first – there is typically a stickied topic for mods/patches. All of these games are $9.99 or under on GOG, and many go on sale frequently.

Role-playing games

Dark Sun: Shattered Lands – I personally have been meaning to get back to this game for years, having not played it for at least 15. →  Fine, but this article then no more.