posts by jay
jay

Mario doesn’t matter

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I’ve been avoiding screens and videos of Mario Galaxy because I want to experience it all for the first time when I am actually playing, not drunkenly browsing the web. Still, I can’t help but read as much as possible about the game and cross my fingers I don’t see too many spoilers (though I did see a huge one – whoever it was who first mentioned that thing with the guy and the thing, you know what I’m talking about, please leave the internet).

Many conversations on the game and Nintendo design in general have gravitated towards arguments over the foolishness of bleeding an IP dry. Hold on, let me get into my Nintendo Defense Force Costume…

Miyamoto has said time and again that he only creates new characters when old ones would not fit with his new gameplay ideas. →  I’ll read you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!

Other sites’ minor offenses

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In my never ending mission to find things to complain about, I frequently stumble upon poorly phrased passages in competitors articles (by competitors I mean real web sites). Here are two stupid things I found recently:

Joystiq calls Alien Soldier “filler.”
Or maybe it’s a highly respected game from a hugely talented developer that never made it to American shores.

In the wake of the release of Super Mario 3, many have overlooked Treasure’s cult classic Alien Soldier. This has happened before – Super Metroid overshadowed Shinobi 3, despite both being awesome. The strength of the Virtual Console lies in its ability to offer us access to excellent games we missed, or hard to find classics. While it’s true that the first thing I did when I got home yesterday was download Mario 3, it and games like it that have been released 17 separate times aren’t what makes the VC so sweet. →  Ultima IV: Quest of the Avatarticle

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 10.26.07

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Skies 2 on Wii?
This may be old, but it’s too amazing to not mention. EGM reported a rumor that Skies of Arcadia 2 is in development for the Wii.

An interview with Will Wright
Will Wright may be a genius. His games are all brilliant, despite always leaving me feeling empty and suicidal. When he speaks, people listen. And then complain if he offended their company loyalties.

Will thinks the Wii is the only next gen console. It’s noble of him to defend ingenuity but I think the higher ground is to simply dismiss next gen chest thumping entirely. In my experience, generations are measured in time and progeny, not progress. My father does not consider me to be in his generation simply because I am as slow, weak and annoying as he. →  Finger lickin’ read.

Review hegemony

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Gamers expect very specific review scores for certain games. When Twilight Princess got an 8.6 the internet almost self destructed. Recently, Ratchet and Clank got a 7.5. People are in an uproar over a game they have never played. It’s a triple A title and deserves a triple A score seems to be the prevailing wisdom.

There are a few ways to look at this phenomenon. The first and plainly stupid view is that reviewers are doing their job poorly or are biased. I believe money has changed hands for good reviews but have a tough time swallowing that Microsoft payed for R&C to get a low score. The next and significantly more rational perspective is that the people complaining are actually in the minority. →  Ba da bam ba baa I’m readin’ it.

Nintendo – update your stupid console

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I have curly red hair. Why does Nintendo hate me? How difficult would it be for them to add some new hair colors and styles to the Mii options? Their lack of effort is either indicative of laziness or deep seated hatred for non-Japanese people and frankly, either of those is culturally insensitive (particularly the latter) and pisses me off.

Also, stop allowing for such asinine polls. Neither black cats nor ladders have control over human affairs and anyone who says otherwise is an inbred peasant, or perhaps retarded Japanese farmer (just trying to even the score here). Though it may stretch the very boundaries of what human beings are capable of, please give us polls with three or dare I say four possible answers. →  We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we play.

NPD Schadenfreude

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I’m a small, petty man, but maybe you are small and petty, too. If so, you may enjoy these comedic comments from a popular PS3 forum. The context is the following – Halo 3 sold 3.3 million copies in less than two weeks, MS sold 527k 360s, Nintendo 501k Wiis, and Sony 117k PS3s.

“this is just an example of what the media can do to a console. ps3 was just released in the wrong world.”

“And why would any one expect Heavenly Sword to see better then it did it has no advertisement at all and there are only 6 million ps3s out as of now so if you compare that to halo selling 3.3 million of 360 with 10 million units old then its allot closer then it looks.” →  Prince of Postia: Article Within

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 10.5.07

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Dream team created to make MMO
One of the three guys behind Fallout and 17 ex-Blizzard guys all in one development team? You know these are going to be amazingly well crafted fetch quests that change absolutely nothing in a static MMO world. And think of the grinding!

Halo 3 is the biggest event in human history
The release of Halo 3 makes John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald look like footnotes in history. The moon landing is dwarfed by Bungie’s newest game, which sold approximately thirty thousand times more than any other product ever created. There are now significantly more copies of Halo 3 than wheels, and just about the same number of grains of sand.

This game topped the charts in Japan last week, proving that in a tepid market environment an American game can actually sell well in the East. →  50 Cent: Readproof

Review – Rune Factory

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Game flow usually follows a straightforward path. In any Zelda game, you adventure, find items, speak to an odd character like Tingle, then adventure some more. The adventuring itself is compelling because it is great fun and the items you receive for adventuring often add a new play mechanic and unlock new areas for adventuring — it’s a very simple loop that has worked well for 20 years.

A game like The Sims is significantly more complex but the game flow is still easy to understand. The players micromanage their Sims in order to gain skills and keep their various meters high. In turn, they are rewarded with job promotions because they are skilled, socially relevant, and come to work with full stomachs and empty bladders. →  Reading more, assemble!

I hate Halo and I hate Final Fantasy

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Not because I’m one of those rebellious gamers who thinks hating popular franchises is cool (though it is cool, you should try it), and not because Halo and Final Fantasy games are bad. I hate mega-popular franchises because gamers love them too much.

Every copy of Halo 3 sold tells Microsoft they should pay for a dozen more “I’m a big guy with a big gun and I plan on shooting you in the face, also there are aliens or Germans” games for the 360. Every copy of Final Fantasy Crisis Core sold sends the message to Square that they are right to limit original output and they should in fact support their enormous company by releasing 4,000 titles in the same series (or two). →  Destroy All Articles! 2