All you ever need to know about Japan

After spending 10 nights in Japan I am now qualified to make sweeping statements about the Japanese culture. The following are immutable truths (told in a convenient pros and cons style) about this wonderful and bizarre country:

Pro
Suntory Boss is the boss of them all since 1992.

There’s no use denying it.

Con
Japanese people seem as pro-Japan as Americans are pro-America. I was asked by one of my gracious host’s fathers why we came to Japan. He was an awesome guy but really pushed hard for an answer he found satisfactory. I think the question was probably just mistranslated and he actually asked, “How awesome is Japan?” The same day, a man on the street approached us and told us in English that “Japan is number 1.” →  The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Read

Domo arigato and bon voyage!

Tomorrow morning I will be leaving to join Tyson in Japan. There may be fewer updates and hilarious articles while I’m gone, but by January 8th I’ll be home and within the next month or two we will be ready to think about planning preparations to return to full speed.

In the meantime, enjoy fluffy filler material I’ve preprepared. Ever wonder how the staff here has evolved and changed as gamers in the past two years (hey, that’s how old this site is, what a coincidence)? Wonder no more because this site will soon be flooded with human interest stories.

While you’re reading videolamer and doing whatever it is I assume you do with the rest of your day (hit refresh until you need to pee/eat, pee/eat, repeat), I hope to absorb the local culture by enjoying a Big Mac and Nippon Disney – who cares about what people think beyond what they think of me? →  Now is the winter of read this content.

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 12.21.07

PSP sales explode in Japan
Sony’s handheld has been selling very well lately, this last boost thanks to a new red model. If Sony simply releases a new model and/or colored PSP every other month they may be able to seriously compete with Nintendo. At least on the hardware front.

Games simply don’t appear to sell on the PSP. The leading theories as to why this is are:

If you cut yourself while playing you won’t even notice.

1. The PSP is a successful multimedia machine. A significant percentage of purchasers are using it to listen to music and watch movies. Reports of people not particularly interested in games buying the system are common, and even dedicated gamers (see Christian of this website) are very interested in all the multimedia aspects of the PSP. →  I can has post?

Sony CEO – PS3 better than Wii

Howard Stringer is the CEO of Sony. He makes over 650k a year (very likely million/s). And he is terrible at PR.

“I’m happy the Wii seems to be running a bit short of hardware. The PlayStation 3 will come into its own because its are infinitely more fun, demanding and exciting.”

He is glad the Wii is selling out because consumers may now buy a PS3 out of frustration. He’s pleased that Nintendo’s giant safe can barely fit any more money in it because that may mean a few dollars drift down the street to Sony. He enjoys that Iwata’s back is sore from carrying bars of solid gold to the bank, and Miyamoto’s neck aches after craning to see the top of his new mansion. →  Read more? No, I’ll read it all.

Review – Phoenix Wright: Trials and Tribulations

I recently went through some effort to prove that most games are entirely about play mechanics and that story and characters are mere dressing. This concept is echoed by some great designers. In On Game Design, Chris Crawford describes interaction as the key to all games — more, deeper interactions make for a better game. Judging by his designs, Miyamoto agrees.

Don’t look at this picture. Too many spoilers.

With this in mind I face a problem. The Phoenix Wright trilogy stands among my favorite games despite their being little more than books on DS carts. And not even Choose Your Own Adventure books that create the illusion of control; there is only one correct thing to do at all points in Ace Attorney, and often you will be forced to run through all items in your inventory in hopes of showing the right someone the right something. →  Welcome to read zone!

Virtual Console rip offs – Stop selling us the same game

Ghouls ‘n Ghosts and Super Ghouls ‘n Ghosts are pretty similar games. Most people would probably think they’re interchangeable, but they have enough different content to both warrant a purchase for fans of the series. Nintendo was straddling the line between offering consumers more choices and ripping us off when they offered Street Fighter 2 closely followed by Street Fighter 2 Turbo. They aren’t exactly the same game but who on earth would want the original SF2 instead of one of the superior variants? It seems like a clear move to cash in on people’s urge to buy the original then realize they made a mistake and buy Turbo.

It gets worse. Dynastic Hero is Wonderboy in Monster World. Kirby’s Avalanche is Dr. →  Monster Reader 4

What is a man?

Andre Malraux was a French author who lived and died in the 20th century. He has many books and other things to his name and if I knew anything about him beyond what it says on his Wikipedia page you can be sure you’d be damned impressed.

Gamers know him from a line from Symphony of the Night:“What is man? A miserable little pile of secrets.” Or they know him because they’re European and have actually been educated.

This quote is mocked daily on game forums. It doesn’t suddenly become better or worse because someone famous wrote it, but gamers should realize that it wasn’t written by Konami’s localization team.

Do people already know this? Is it an elaborate “Malraux is an overrated writer and his work translated into English is laughable” movement amongst gamers? →  Sounds amazing, I must read it now!

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 11.30.07

Gamespot editor allegedly fired for giving a bad review
Jeff Gerstmann was supposedly let go because he gave Kane and Lynch a mediocre review (recent updates indicate the firing was a culmination of multiple reviews that angered sponsors). The story goes, Eidos was paying CNET a ton of cash to promote the title and threatened to pull future ads because of the review. It’s true that when this story broke yesterday, the Gamespot site was covered head to toe in stupid K&L ads. The people who say the firing happened because of the review range from Penny Arcade (who confirm the comic isn’t simply a joke in their forum), to a freelance Gamespot writer (who gave Shenmue a bad review…breath in…), to mods in the Gamespot forum who said things like – if we tell you what happened we will be fired, and don’t blame us, it’s all CNETs fault. →  Uncharted Waters: New Horeadin’s

Destructoid – Johhny Rotten isn’t a GH3 fan

Johnny Rotten hates Guitar Hero 3!!!! It’s all right here in this article!

Except he doesn’t say he hates it, he says he loves it. Then he says it doesn’t teach you how to be a rockstar and thats a GOOD thing because pursuing fame and fortune is stupid. Punk rock is not exactly about the bling.

So why does Destructoid have the story entirely wrong? Because they, like many other internet journalists, get their news stories from internet forums, namely NeoGAF. The problem with this is two fold. First there is the standard who is the source, how reliable are they, blah blah blah stuff. Then there is the equally important reading comprehension, and required will power to read the second post of a thread you are using as a news source. →  While there is a lower class, I am in it, while there is a criminal element, I am of it, and while there is a soul in prison, I am not gaming.

Review – Etrian Odyssey

There is nothing more depressing than wasted potential, and, somewhat ironically, nothing more pleasurable than wasting potential. As I lay on my couch playing Etrian Odyssey instead of washing the dishes, helping the homeless or learning to read, my mind struggled to cope with conflicting emotions. I was enjoying that I was wasting my time, but not enjoying the time wasted. Is it hypocritical to be upset that Atlus squandered this game’s potential?

F.O.E.s are rendered in stunningly accurate orange blobs.

Etrian Odyssey starts off nice and difficult. I died on the first level and there’s a good chance you will, too. This high difficulty forces the player to engage in some old school level grinding, but I’ve always welcomed work in my time wasting, as long as society doesn’t benefit in any way. →  Are you ready for some readball?