Year: 2006

Wii give thanks

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This Thanksgiving, I decided to put Nintendo’s new business strategy to the test by bringing home my Wii. Would it appeal to non-gamers and to past gamers? And just how shallow was Wii Sports? For scientific purposes, I spent time with both my girlfriend’s family and my own. Luckily, I wouldn’t have to perform these tests on an empty stomach, though the tryptophan didn’t necessarily help. (Tryptophan reference for comedic purposes only. In turkey, the chemical is contained in small amounts and the wrong form to actually produce drowsiness.)

My girlfriend’s parents were basically uninterested in the Wii. I played first, showing them how it was done and her mom tried once, but that was all. She needed help mastering the few buttons required to play. A friend spending the holiday with us refused to touch the remote. This was not the response I’d hoped for but it wasn’t completely unexpected. Nintendo had completely failed (or maybe I was just a shitty salesman) in that house, but how did the Wii do with my family? →  And so it games…

Recovering from World of Warcraft Part 2

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Continued from part 1

What ultimately made me stop playing WoW wasn’t so much the new content or the failure in clearing it, but rather the monotony of clearing the old. Let me explain for those not familiar. When you kill a boss in WoW, it drops 2-4 pieces of loot. This can be class specific armor, or a weapon, or jewelry, or whatever. Your average dungeon has 7-12 bosses. A raid dungeon is typically cleared once a week due to reset timers. A raid group has 40 people. Each player has 19 slots of possible gear that can be worn at any time, not to mention extra sets of gear for certain battle roles (such as resistances, damage absorption, damage dealing, etc). There are also special “recipes,” and other miscellaneous items. You can do the basic math–and get the idea of how long it takes to gear a raid force. There is a huge amount of competition for scarce resources. →  Lamers so loved the world that they gave their only article, so that everyone who believes in reading won’t perish but will have eternal lives.

Remarks on recent gaming news

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It has been a while since I’ve peeped my head around here, hasn’t it? Now that Thanksgiving break is over, it’s time to start back up, beginning with a few comments on some recent gaming news items.

1) People are breaking their expensive toys thanks to flying Wiimotes, and if the internet is any indication, it seems to be an epidemic. The reason behind it is malfunctioning wrist straps, but in this case I can’t at all blame Nintendo for the stupidity of gamers. The only way the strap can break is due to extensive force during the remote’s forward motion, meaning someone is letting go. The only way this can happen is either a) sweaty hands or b) people purposefully throwing it. In either case, the solution is simple; calm the hell down.

Yes the Wii encourages interactivity and participation, but Wii Sports does not require you to pitch like a Major Leaguer or swing a club like Tiger. →  Rule of Read

Recovering from World of Warcraft Part 1

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This article is long overdue, particularly because I haven’t played WoW in months. I’ve tried to write it several times, but it’s hard to capture all of my feelings about both the game and the genre and transmit it to you in a meaningful way. Plus, I’m lazy. Pimpin ain’t easy, yo.

Let me give you a bit of my MMO background. First, if you read this site and any of my postings, you know I crave connectivity. As a console RPG player, and an occasional table top gamer, I crave persistence. Although I love Final Fantasy and leveling my characters, I get frustrated with the fact that once they are topped out, the secrets of the game revealed and last boss beaten–they are done. These two factors together set me up to be an MMO junkie from the start. It was my destiny.

All the fun of a bad fantasy novel but worse for your eyes.

I began with MUDs–Gemstone III, Darkness Falls Crusade. →  Postsona 3 FES

Review – Super Star Soldier on VC

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Well, Nintendo promised to release new Virtual Console titles every Monday, but I would have expected a little more than just one title. Thankfully, that one title is pretty superlicious: Super Star Soldier for the Turbografx-16.

I’ve actually never played this game before. I remember hearing about the updated version of the series on the GameCube (after Ikaruga set the precedence for the return of old-school shooters), but soon forgot about the fledgling series after the lower-than-average review scores. After purchasing the title on VC for a paltry 600 Wii Points ($6), however, I’m glad the TG-16 version made an appearance, 15 years after its release.

It isn’t the most innovative shooter around, but that’s why I like it. Ikaruga was basically the first shooter that I ever played, but the black/white dichotomy of the game made my head spin too much. Soon I would long for a game where I could just blow the crap out of anything and everything. →  You reading at me?

Next Generation?

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I was reading a piece of literature about the Wii the other day. You know, the usual suspect: the glossy ten page magazine saying that the product will revolutionise whatever market it is coming to. Surprisingly, it was an interesting little mag, but it was two words that caught my eye. “New Generation.”? These two words by themselves mean little to anybody, but let me be nice and put them into context for you: “It’s better to think of the Wii as a new generation console rather than next generation.” This throwaway media statement got me thinking more than it should have, and now I’m wondering, what actually makes a next generation game?

The more helpful way to look at the “next generation”? is to start by considering the Xbox 360. It’s been around for almost a year now, which is more than ample time to really cement it as a next generation console. But what is it that makes it next generation? →  The gamers have only interpreted the games, in various ways. The point, however, is to change them.

Do Arcades Even Exist Anymore?

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Just got done with a vacation with the family on the world’s largest cruise ship, the Freedom of the Seas (Royal Caribbean). Why am I telling you this? Well, first, to make you jealous of my amazing Golden Jew lifestyle. But second, because cruise boats are one of the last places you’ll find an arcade.

Arcades–remember those? I certainly do. They were the ultimate destination growing up, at least for me. I remember begging my parents to give me quarters to go play at the mall arcade. I remember the glee of the giant arcades at the Santa Cruz boardwalk in California. Arcades have always been special to me–not only as a gamer, but my father’s cousin used to run one of the most well known arcades in New York City–the Broadway Arcade. It was later closed when their lease was up, to be replaced by Gold’s Gym. The management refused to renew their lease, they felt the clientele of a Gold’s (steroid users and anorexic chicks) was preferable to idle teenagers and deadbeat 20somethings. →  How many games must a gamer play before you call him a gamer?

Where has the hype gone?

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Here in England, we always get things late. Sometimes very late, but that’s usually just Sony (I still stand by my claim that the PS3 won’t be out here until November). Something that England and the rest of Europe usually have, though, is an abundance of hype, hype, and more hype. Strangely enough, we all of a sudden have a lack of hype, and since the Wii has been released in America it seems to have disappeared off of the face of the planet over here. It’s released here in less than a month, so where has it all gone?

Maybe Nintendo have suddenly discovered that it won’t appeal to us Limeys. They’ve seen that the majority of the reviews by fat balding Americans of Red Steel be a tad negative, and they must be assuming the same for the English. Strange that, when the only other positive reviews have been from Europe. I will admit, lots of Japanese ideas tend to flop in Europe, but this is one idea even us English don’t want to miss out on. →  You had me at read more.

Wii Component Cables, Where Art Thou?

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Man, not having component cables for your Wii is just gut-wrenching, let me tell you. A composite picture is so crappy when compared to component. I’ve been using an HD setup for about 6 months now, and I seriously hate looking at a composite signal. It’s way too muted and blurry.

You know when people say the colors for a game are very bland and boring? Yeah, that’s because they are looking at the game through a composite signal. The colors through component, however, are extremely vibrant and beautiful, even when they use realistic colors like gray and brown. And you don’t even really need a TV with progressive scan. From the untrained eye, progressive scan just makes things sharper. Component seems to bring out a better picture concerning colors and contrast.

There are some times where I just want to stop playing whatever it is I’m playing, and wait until I get the Nintendo-branded Wii Component cables.

Which is far easier said than done. →  The review for ‘Shark Sandwich’ was merely a two word review which simply read ‘Read Sandwich.’

Enough with the androgynous characters

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Team Ninja is obsessed with breasts. This happens to be an obsession most American men (and women) share. Game after game, Tecmo and many other publishers give us girls that make Dolly Parton look prepubescent. Most thoughtful gamers (or prudes) have already declared this tendency absurd, or at least unrealistic.

Arguing that Team Ninja should be neutered is a position that is seen as pro-women and inclusive. Call Final Fantasy characters effeminate, on the other hand, and you invite accusations of homophobia and narrow-mindedness. Before I justify my stance on the character design of Final Fantasy games and many other Japanese titles, let me first establish what I mean when I say the art is effeminate.

Squall from Final Fantasy VIII looking coy in his furry coat is a good example. Notice how pretty his hair is and his elegant stud earring.

Tidus from Final Fantasy X leaning back, his hair wet, almost exploding in orgasm. What beautiful porcelain skin.

Someone from Final Fantasy XII with a rounded face, thick, pouty lips and beautiful skin. →  When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called a game.