Articles

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 12.22.06

by

Resident Evil 5 not coming in ‘07
1up has reported that the next proper sequel in the Resident Evil franchise will be coming in 2008, if not later. I don’t know where I’ll be living or working in six months and I’m supposed to care about a game that may not be out for three years? Human life probably won’t even exist by that point, and if it does, we will surely have evolved gills and other radical changes that will make gaming obsolete. Capcom might as well just say that Resident Evil 5 is never coming out.

Good games coming to the Virtual Console this Christmas
Some people have bitched about the low quality of Virtual Console titles. For every Zelda, Nintendo gives us a Solomon’s Key, Altered Beast and Tennis. They tell us that the VC will offer select gems but it is apparent that they’ll offer any crappy game they can get a license to.

Thanks for giving us games that sucked 20 years ago, Nintendo.

 →  Illiterates hate her! Click to read this one weird trick.

Are gamers too jaded?

by

Seeing as how most of us are around the 20 year mark, we’ve all probably seen and played a lot of video games in our lives. My collection alone contains well over 100 games, and that doesn’t include those I have traded in. This in and of itself isn’t a bad thing. Hell, the more the better. But when we start complaining about a new game that doesn’t do something that a 10 year old game does, we have to ask ourselves, “are we too jaded nowadays?”

Take, for example, Ocarina of Time. How insane was it when you first saw how big Hyrule Field was? For the time, that chunk of real estate was huge, and we truly felt OoT was special and epic because of it. Indeed it was. For the time.

Now, think of Twilight Princess’ Hyrule Field. It’s definitely much bigger, but does it jump out at you like the OoT one? No, it doesn’t, and that’s because it’s merely an extension of what’s already been established. →  Who is that standing behind you?

Amazing adventures at Best Buy

by

Last night I went to Best Buy with the intention of buying a portable RPG for my upcoming plane ride to England. I chose that particular store because it is close to home and closes late, not because it doesn’t suck. Looking for Contact for the DS, I had a myriad of experiences that I’d like to now share with you.

– The PS3 demo kiosk is not working. Some racing game is stuck at the course selection screen and there is a short loop of bad heavy rock music playing. This same game crashed at the same spot at the same Best Buy a few weeks ago. I’m not sure if that store got a bad kiosk or if all the kiosks are that awesome. I do know I’m not closer to spending a months rent on PS3, though.

– I watched someone play the new Sonic game on the 360. He repeatedly fell to his death. Sonic runs very fast but the levels have a lot of dead ends and nooks to get stuck in, not to mention endless endless pits. →  Fine, but this article then no more.

GameCube Was Good, And Don’t You Forget It!

by

There have been some rumblings on the Interweb in the last few months that Nintendo completely failed with the GameCube, some people saying it was their worst console to date. Sure, it’s not as popular as the PS2, but that doesn’t make it a failure.

Critics mostly point to the fact that the GC only sold 20 million consoles worldwide, compared to PS2’s 100 million. If you look at it like that, then yes, it looks like a failure. But for some odd reason, many people cite the original Xbox as a success story, even when it sold only 23 million units, three million more than GC. That just doesn’t add up.

Can you remember the games we got with our beloved GC? Titles like Metroid Prime, Eternal Darkness and Resident Evil 4 are easily some of the greatest games I’ve ever played. Those three examples are more than enough to justify the purchase. But then you have to remember there are a lot more than just three games that came out for it. →  SNK Article Classics Vol. 1

Why I play the games I play

by

While collaborating with the rest of the staff about yesterday’s article, I started to wonder a little more deeply, very much in the abstract way Jay was specifically trying to avoid, why I play the games I do. I think the answer to this question is very much the answer to the question of why play games at all, when there are hobbies/ways of life that are likely to lead to more sex/money/interpersonal relationships than video games.

A simple answer would be that I can never be a ninja, a WWII general, a wizard, an NFL quarterback, an etc, etc but video games allow me to come as close as I am likely to be able. I’m sure this is part of it, the desire to be immersed in a game to the point where I feel as though I am a part of it, but I do not think this is all, or even most of why I game. →  Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Bore me and I sleep.

The Christmas Method

by

My last Winter Break ever starts tomorrow, meaning a whole month of absolutely nothing to do. Nothing to do but try a little gaming experiment, that is.

Welcome to Flavor Country (tm?)

The project is simple. I’ve had a stack of games of either my own or my roommate’s ownership just waiting for me to either begin or finish. Time and again, I can’t sit down with any of them for more than an hour. I think I need a break from the modern game, or at least the modern game design.

I’m tired of required tutorials sequences for things I know how to do, and for games I’ve already played. I’m sick of slow introductions that string me along forever before I really get the reigns. I’m tired of long bouts of poorly written dialog getting in my way. And if I have to suffer through one more minigame that requires luck over skill, I might explode.

This holiday break calls for a change. →  There is only one really serious philosophical problem, and that is games.

Wii Weather Channel Tells Weather, Gamers Complain

by

…And I’m going to be one of those complainers. What? I can’t help it. What with the powers of blogging, and all.

Anyway, after updating my Wii (which never takes as long as those other guys), my forecast channel finally greeted me up on the main screen. I’m starting to like how the main screen is turning out, what with those blank boxes starting to disappear. Still makes me wonder, though, won’t we max out the available channels by the time Wii’s successor shows up? 48 channels may sound like a lot, but five years down the line? I’m not too sure about that.

After setting up my Forecast Channel by telling the Wii which city you live in or near, you finally get to see what we’ve been missing since launch. Sorry to say, not that much.

It’s not like it isn’t great. The thing is pretty damn cool. Reminds me of Civilization IV’s Earth interface, but there’s not much to it. →  Nobody puts article in a corner.

Why do we buy the games we buy?

by

I approached some of the videolamer staff a few weeks ago and presented them with the following –

“I want to write something on our motives for buying games but decided that simply asking ‘Why do you buy the specific games you buy?’ is too open ended and abstract a question. Instead, if you list the last three games you bought and explain why you bought each I think that will make it easier to figure out why you buy games.”

Here is my list, followed by some responses.

Happy Arbor Day

1) Okami – I try to support games I perceive as very creative, which is why I bought this, Shadow of the Colossus, Psychonauts, and still want Odama. The amazing reviews did help convince me to buy Okami instead of a different game that’s very original (or at least original looking).

2) Phoenix Wright – I have a thing for very Japanesey games, as long as they aren’t too obnoxiously anime. →  The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Read

Grandma’s Boy – Satan’s revenge?

by

In a recent post, a blogger at Joystiq mentioned the game that was featured in the movie Grandma’s Boy. He also shared his opinion of the movie by calling it, “freakishly awful.” This drew an overwhelming response from readers who adore Grandma’s Boy. Since I have only a handful of fans to alienate, I will now go on record as agreeing with Joystiq.

This may seem a bit elitist, but before I tell you how terrible Grandma’s Boy is, I need to mention I saw the movie with three other people and touch on our credentials. Most people who insist the movie isn’t a pile of shit argue that those who dislike it are either non-gamers or have never used illegal drugs. It’s true that none of us were smoking anything while we watched, but we were drinking. On to our qualifications: We have varying degrees of gaming knowledge, ranging from very little to very well-informed. We have varying amounts of illicit substance experience, ranging from none to “how are you still alive?” →  This better not be as bad as everything else here.

I’m the king of the world!

by

Just ask the few remaining people at Jay’s party last night, who were the Apollo Creed to my Rocky (in Rocky 2), the Frazier to my Ali (the two times when Ali won), and the whoever to my Tyson (back when he was a good boxer and a rapist, as opposed to just a rapist).

Yes, that’s right, the Golden Jew gave into the Wii, at least for one night. Although disgusted by the fact my persona was referred to as a “Mii” in Wii Sports, I was amused by the fact I was punching out a woman Mii. I think that might have been what fueled my victory. She also had glasses. Unrealistically, they did not break and force shattered glass into her eyes.

I was very impressed with Wii Bowling, finding that the ball actually curved the exact same way it does when I bowl for real. In fact, I was able to take advantage of this the way only a gamer can to eventually assure myself multiple spares in a row. →  Read like G did.