Making Marvel vs. Capcom 3 Truly Rule

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There are a whopping two arcade machine series on Earth that I can beat consistently on one purchase, regardless of sequel number or difficulty setting: Soul Caliber and Marvel vs. Capcom.

The key to Soul Caliber, you see, is Maxi and his awesome ability to start spinning his nunchuks, never pausing for a break as he beats the sweet bejeebus out of any and all opponents. Just mash the buttons, bimbo. Why didn’t you think of that?

And Marvel vs. Capcom 2? Iron Man, War Machine and Cable will destroy any and all challengers from their cozy little far corner of the screen, sending a constant and unfair barrage of projectile after projectile at those who dare to cross them.

Am I excited about the announcement of Marvel vs. Capcom 3? Damn straight. But instead of just cheesing my way to the top once it is released, I’d instead like to offer some sober, sane advice for potential new characters to add to the roster of the game to increase the fun. →  Arc the Post: Twilight of the Spirits

Top 10 things wrong with video game reviews

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I know most of you came here for one thing, so I’ll just leave these here:

Replayability: 1/10
Challenge: 2/10
Controls: 6/10
Content: 2/10
Overall: 4/10

Feel free to check Metacritic to figure out how other people rated Video Game Reviews!

For the rest of you, I’ll go ahead and add a few more lines so you can tell all your friends about this great review of Video Game Reviews. This is a pretty awful game. I’m not going to tell you specifically how awful for a while because that might challenge you to decide what you like before I’ve told you.

Speaking of challenge, this game doesn’t have much. There are a dozen different difficulty settings (Gamespy, IGN, Gamespot, Metacritic, and so on) but they all seem to really mean the same thing challenge wise. All are pretty easy, which means you will probably either love or hate them. There are a few bonus levels scattered here and there, and they’re more difficult, but you pretty much have to look up how to reach them in a FAQ because they’re almost impossible to find on your own. →  Final Post VII

Reports of the East’s death are greatly exaggerated

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Joseph Goebbels said that if you tell a lie often enough, it becomes the truth. I don’t say this to make some comparison to the Nazis, but because it often occurs outside the realm of propaganda. There are times when bad reporting and a lack of research can cause a false belief to become a truism in the eyes of society. As a general example, I am reminded of the various reports on the epidemic of sexual “rainbow parties” among teenagers, which were based on a handful of incidents which in no way suggested that such an event is a common occurrence anywhere. Sometimes this happens due to someone wanting to push an agenda, and other times it may simply be the result of people believing something that they want to be true. Whatever the case may be, these incidents can cause quite a bit of trouble.

We may be seeing one of these incidents taking form in the games industry. →  Monster Reader 4

Art Can Never Be Games

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Everyone loves discussing why games are or aren’t art. Even I can’t help it. The subject is just too hard to pass up. It exists just so intellectual jerkoffs can spill ink (do people even spill ink anymore?) over it and feel good. This is why I’m not going to write about it anymore. Instead, I’m going to write about “games can never be art.” And no, I didn’t quite contradict myself there. I’m not going to write about whether or not games can be art. I’m going to write about the literal sentence “games can never be art.”

I have a major problem with this statement. Not with the logical implications of what it’s trying to communicate, but rather the structure of the statement itself. Why not say “Art can never be games?” The reason why is because because the statement makes some assumptions. It assumes that art is something that games need to be judged against. That games are somehow trying to be art. →  Game is dead. Game remains dead. And we have killed it.

How The West Went Wrong

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Let’s play a game that we’ll call, “Count The Genres”. Video games do a pretty good job of covering their bases in terms of the copious amount of scenarios and storylines they deal with. You have your run-of-the-mill sci-fi game, fantasy plots set in mystical realms, hospital simulations, farming sims, sports, you name it, there is probably a video game that touches on it in some way. There is one genre though that I am constantly amazed by the lack of coverage it receives and that is, the Western. How many Western themed games can you name?

I am curious as to why the Western genre gets as little love from electronic gaming as it does. This is especially true when you consider how romanticized the genre has been in books, radio, and film since the turn of the century. If one were to examine television from the Fifties and Sixties, shows like, “Gunsmoke”, “Rawhide”, and “Bonanza” were mainstays. The Seventies and Eighties brought viewers “Little House on The Prairie”. →  All happy games are alike; each unhappy game is unhappy in its own way.

Late to the Party: Earthbound

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It took me over half a decade to finally play through Earthbound. I tried numerous times over the years but each time I stalled at or before the town of Onett. Eventually I figured out the problem: I was trying to play the game on a PC emulator, in environments where I couldn’t get comfortable, or even put the sound on. My latest solution to this dilemma was to play it on my cell phone, with stereo headphones and a slide out keyboard with the d-pad on the right. Not quite the same as playing it on a genuine SNES, but you’d be amazed at how much better a game can be when you can curl up on the couch and let the soundtrack drown out the outside world. At the very least, it helped me get past Onett and all the way to the end credits.

In general, I’m the kind of person who doesn’t really care about spoilers. I often like knowing what is coming ahead of time, and I believe that if a major plot event is done well enough, it can be just as powerful without the element of surprise. →  If you die in the article, you die in real life.

Review – Infinite Space

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As a fan of the occasional science fiction novel, I’ve wanted to see a real sci-fi JRPG for a long time. The Star Ocean series occasionally tantalizes – then I’m reminded once again that the vast majority of each Star Ocean game ends up being the standard medieval fantasy-themed magic-filled claptrap anyway (or super-science with no explanation, which as we know is indistinguishable from the former). The Phantasy Star games have a science-y atmosphere, but they’re more post-apocalyptic in nature and there are only bits and pieces of the sci-fi around. Xenogears and Xenosaga probably come closest, but the former was more fantasy themed and the latter was too focused on inappropriate religious references to bother with much science, despite all the spaceships flying around and weapons research going on.

I ultimately expected Infinite Space to be the same sort of disappointment, and was pleasantly surprised. Although the game doesn’t go into the details of how the ship engines work or what the warp-gates are (for good reason on the latter), it was still a highly space-y game. →  Keep it warm.

Little Big Planet, Huge Enormous Marketing Budget

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Little Big Planet 2 is in production and the gaming sites want you to know it.

Currently the front page of Edge has four LBP2 related stories running, including the top article:
An announcement of the game
A news piece on how it is not just an expansion
An article detailing the newest Edge issue, featuring a LBP2 cover story
A story on the new features

1Up is also a little LBP2 crazy, with five stories on the game including the top article:
An announcement of the game
A news piece on how it is not just an expansion
“Six Levels I’d Love To Create Using Little Big Planet 2’s New Features and Themes”
A LBP2 music announcements piece
And the LBP2 debut trailer

IGN has LBP2 as their top story but only sports two other related stories:
LBP2 preview
LBP2 supports Move
LBP2 reveal trailer

Finally, Gamespot follows suit and has a LBP2 top story:
LBP2 preview
LBP2 interview
LBP2 announcement

Gamespot and IGN are behind in terms of Little Big Planet coverage. →  Sounds amazing, I must read it now!

Review – Pixeljunk Shooter

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Q Games’ Pixeljunk project is something that, as a gamer, I have to admire, but as a critic leaves me frustrated.  They exist as a series of small downloadables on the Playstation Network, with their 2d perspective being the only common theme among them (Wikipedia states that a “Pixeljunk Series 2” may explore early 3d visuals).  This loose sense of organization gives Q Games the freedom to be as experimental or traditional as they want to be, which in turn gives the series the potential for interesting developments.  On the other hand, the lack of consistency and predictability is tricky at a time when many of us make up our opinion on a game solely based on our experiences with its predecessors.  A careless gamer could go from loving Pixeljunk to swearing it off in the span of a single game, and might ultimately miss out on something great.

I bring this up because I almost made such a mistake with Pixeljunk Shooter, the latest release from the project.  →  For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a gamer against their game.